She's so ugly...
...the tears roll down the back of her head when she cries.
...she'd make a freight train take a dirt road.
...her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
...if my dog looked like that, I'd shave its rear end and make it walk around backwards.
...she has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.
...she'd scare a bulldog off a meat truck.
...rain won't fall on her.
Anyone have some more???