Top Ten Signs Your Baseball Team Isn't Ready For The Regular Season

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[InvisibleChurch]

Top Ten + Signs Your Baseball Team Isn't Ready For The Regular Season

Your lead-off hitter is 8 months pregnant

Every time pitcher throws ball, catcher screams, "Ow!"

Outfielders distracted by big fluffy clouds that sometimes look like bunnies

Best hitter refuses to work weekends

Only time players demonstrate hustle is when they're being chased by undercover vice cops

Spirited locker room debates about how many strikes to an out

Starters ask to be excused from fielding drills to watch "The View"

Most promising rookie recently swallowed a rosin bag

Team name contains words "Devil" and "Rays"

Nobody can keep his mind on the game with that sexy Derek Jeter running around

Heart and soul of the team is the stadium beer vendor

Pre-game locker room ritual consists of telling scary stories and braiding each other's hair

Pitcher keeps chewing the ball and throwing tobacco

The first ball thrown out by former President Jimmy Carter is 30 miles per hour faster than your staff

So far team has suffered three groin pulls in the clubhouse

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[InvisibleChurch]

GO CUBBBBBS!!

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[Dales]

I would have expected some of the answers to be:

Your best pitching story is now appearing on G-rated screens, starting today.

Your team is owned by Angelos.

Your team is owned by a Selig.