Posted on 10/19/2026 4:53:50 AM PDT by Cronos
the 79-year old comic channels the satirist Jonathan Swift and offers a dozen “modest proposals” for the manifesto of the socialist organization
“In our Socialist America, everyone will be so fulfilled spiritually and financially that the police department will be dramatically reduced to where an officer’s only job will be to adjudicate domestic disputes.”
“Toward that end, stands will be set up at local farmers markets, where they will work to resolve marital issues in a folksy, farm-to-table manner,” he writes.
He rapidly progresses to more outlandish ideas, including national paid leave for the death of pets, mandating that employers provide cots for two siestas a day, allowing humans who identify as animals to “relieve themselves” wherever they wish and reparations that would enlist white people to serve as slaves for Black families.
Jews, he writes, will no longer be allowed to call themselves “the Chosen people” and will be known instead as “the Bagel People.”
“We strongly believe in a two-state solution, To this end, we propose that Palestinians should be given all the land currently occupied by Israel and that Israel should be given Pitcairn Island in the South Pacific, where the weather is beautiful and grapefruits are aplenty. We think the Bagel People will be very happy there.”
a media post described the essay as “Larry David has a boomer crashout over Israel.”
Zack Wall, 35, of Columbus, Ohio, replied online “Someone take the phone from gramps,”
Many posts focused on Mr. David’s age while criticizing his views, and others described him as unfunny and racist.
“Maybe I’m just too young, but who is Larry David and why would any person alive care what he has to say?” said a user
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
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Larry David is a Democrat with TDS. He can blame himself.
Has the New York Times come to their own conclusion, or have they confirmed with Larry David this is satire? Probably forcing all the Jews in Israel to move the Pitcairn Island is the giveaway, but I honestly don’t think the rest is a stretch for Larry David.
My thoughts also, the Red/Green alliance is successful because of Liberal voters such as Larry! Larry’s decades long job of pushing his political agenda has moved Liberals past Larry’s dream directly toward Communism. Way to go comrade Larry!
C’mon Larry socialists just want to take some of your wealth and redistribute it those who don’t see humor In their lives. Oh, and about your mansion. That goes too or they’ll burn you out of it.
The Dims are a joke!!
“... and reparations that would enlist white people to serve as slaves for Black families.”
Whenever Democrats bring up reparations, Republicans should suggest this instead. Guilt ridden white liberals should enjoy this kind of servitude.
Free whips from the government too...
That said, this piece (that often includes 'rolling on the floor laughing my ... ROTFLMAO stuff) is going to leave a mark on idiot democrat commies...
Larry was shocked to find out that his ancestors owned slaves, but on his show he made up for it by taking in hurricane refugee J.B. Smoove rent-free.
To hell with Larry David! Let him drown in the crap he helped create.
“Some” can go fook themselves.
It's worse than that. The Judeo-Christian compact that made America unique is broken.
David and his tribe had the capacity for the past 60 years to stop the rest of their tribe: Soros and Stanley Fish and Frances Fox Piven, et al; and their anointed fellow travelers like Morris "Seligman" Dees. Now the Holocaust was driven out of the classrooms by their acolytes, and less than 200,000 of those survivors are even alive. And they wonder out loud what could have possibly given rise to marxist anti-semitism.
Now it's just about money rather than righteousness grounded in American exceptionalism and the US Constitution. Funny how history comes around like that.
Schadenfreude, chosen.
As for his “Open Door Policy”….OK LARRY, YOU FIRST…
You do realize that this is satire, don’t you?
Well summarized
YES.
And a sick tasteless one at that.
Exactly.
blame the rev.3:9 people.
Gemini says larry david really wrote this ...
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