BREAKTIME READING: Are you tired of sleeping past 4:00 a.m.? Do you worry that your neighbors might secretly like you? Are the small children in your life becoming a little too comfortable outdoors? Kevin can help. [rooster needs new home]

x.com ^ | September 21, 2026 | 0️⃣BlackBetty ⚓️ @BabyD1111229

[ransomnote]

0️⃣BlackBetty ⚓️
@BabyD1111229
·
2h
**FREE TO A GOOD HOME: KEVIN**

(I knew ya’ll need a 🤣🤣🤣)

Affectionately named after the screaming bird in the Disney Movie "UP". Now accepting applications for the privilege of removing him from our property.

Are you tired of sleeping past 4:00 a.m.? Do you worry that your neighbors might secretly like you? Are the small children in your life becoming a little too comfortable outdoors?

Kevin can help. 🤭

This premium Tractor Supply Special was sold as a “100% sexed female,” making him both a rooster and an excellent introduction to consumer fraud.

Kevin comes fully equipped with:

**A commercial-grade alarm system**
Activates around 4:00 a.m. and repeats every 2.5 minutes. No batteries, electricity, sunrise, emergency, or identifiable reason required. Cannot be disabled.

**Advanced property-security technology**
Deters mail carriers, visitors, toddlers, and any remaining goodwill between you and your neighbors.

**Selective predator response**
When a hawk attacked our flock, Kevin immediately took control of the situation by shoving past the hens and saving the chicken he values most: himself. 😝 The rest of the flock gained valuable independence and problem-solving experience.

**A youth enrichment program**
Kevin recently began chasing small children, helping them improve speed, agility, situational awareness, and respect for poultry. 😝 He is especially courageous when his opponent is under four feet tall and holding a juice box. 😝

**Executive-level leadership**
Kevin contributes no eggs, provides no protection, accepts no feedback, and spends most of the day loudly announcing accomplishments nobody witnessed. 😝
He is ready for upper management.

**Outstanding curb appeal**
He is, unfortunately, very handsome. This has allowed him to avoid consequences for much longer than his personality warrants.

Kevin would be perfect for an experienced rooster owner with plenty of land, no small children, distant neighbors, strong fencing, excellent health insurance, and a deep personal dislike of silence.

His rehoming fee is **$0**, reflecting both his market value and our level of desperation. 🤣🤣

We will include his complete service history, which is just a blank sheet of paper with “SCREAMING” written across it.

Please share. Somewhere out there is a person whose mornings are peaceful, whose children are fearless, and whose neighbors still wave to them.

Kevin is ready to fix all three.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bam. Lamb 🤭
🎩unknown

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TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: roosters

[Chainmail]

Funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time!

[paulcissa]

You have chickens and don’t have the nerve to kill one wow.

You’re pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you? You got all the answers.

Keyboard warriors like you pollute decent conversation when you judge others without any facts. Glad I don’t have you in my universe.

[tired&retired]

The day I turned 16, I went to the State Police for my driver’s license. It was the same day my learner’s permit became valid, as in Pennsylvania you cannot drive until you are 16.

The State Trooper passed me the first try, and asked me how many years I had been driving. He added, I can tell you drove country roads as you swing wide on the corners.

I replied, “I had to swing wide on the corners as I had a hay wagon full of bales connected to the back of the pickup.”

[tired&retired]

Our neighbors across the valley were about a half mile away as a crow flies. They had the noisiest Jackass I have ever heard.

Every time it would let loose with a spew of noise, my father would comment that Joe’s wife was outside yelling again.

[MayflowerMadam]

Exactly. I don’t know any farm kids who weren’t driving tractors and other equipment when they were 7.

[rlmorel]

That is a common thing with other animals such as dogs and horses! And it can be done by being more decisive and consistent than cruel, in my opinion.

Of course, I have two cats and it seems to work differently for them!

[redinIllinois]

.

[Chickensoup]

Stringggy

[Clutch Martin]

Stringy indeed. Back then it was kinda normal.

The hens were free range... ar night they all were put up. They were tough too.

[HereInTheHeartland]

Hi Kevin .
Meet my friend, seasoned panko crumbs and egg mixture.

[Clutch Martin]

“Ironically, they make good chicken soup.”

Every good chicken soup has an extra chicken foot or two thrown in for thickinin’

[deport]

when they were 7.

*********

When I grew in the country we had various animals and some
300 chickens as layers for eggs we sold to the local stores.
We used shavings from local saw mills as a floor covering
about 3 inches deep. I spent a lot of time shoveling the floors
and replacing the chicken poop.

[Chickensoup]

Adult bird is stringy.

That’s why Cornish Crosses and that ilk snd broilers are processed at 6 to 12 weeks.

[Magnum44]

[Magnum44]

[shotgun]

That’s hilarious

This is our second donkey. Both of them would start braying at 4 am the second I walk out of the house to start feeding. They can wake the dead!

[whitney69]

“Full grown roosters are not tasty.”

The muzzies say it tastes like goat. They need an alternative dish.

wy69

[whitney69]

Coq au vin, if I’m right, is a French dish made of bone-in chicken braised slowly in red wine with bacon, mushrooms, and pearl onions. It would be a left over with him as he’s probably been braised in wine before. Maybe smoked with mushrooms also.

wy69

[whitney69]

“...I know where I’m getting dinner one night the next time we visit...”

The idiot would probably apply for being the main dish.

wy69

[riverrunner]

Yes, I am raised farm animals butchered hundreds of chickens and other, critters.

Killed hundreds of head of big game. Who knows how many thousand’s head of small game.

Very sure of myself.