BREAKTIME READING: Are you tired of sleeping past 4:00 a.m.? Do you worry that your neighbors might secretly like you? Are the small children in your life becoming a little too comfortable outdoors? Kevin can help. [rooster needs new home]

x.com ^ | September 21, 2026 | 0️⃣BlackBetty ⚓️ @BabyD1111229

[ransomnote]

0️⃣BlackBetty ⚓️
@BabyD1111229
·
2h
**FREE TO A GOOD HOME: KEVIN**

(I knew ya’ll need a 🤣🤣🤣)

Affectionately named after the screaming bird in the Disney Movie "UP". Now accepting applications for the privilege of removing him from our property.

Are you tired of sleeping past 4:00 a.m.? Do you worry that your neighbors might secretly like you? Are the small children in your life becoming a little too comfortable outdoors?

Kevin can help. 🤭

This premium Tractor Supply Special was sold as a “100% sexed female,” making him both a rooster and an excellent introduction to consumer fraud.

Kevin comes fully equipped with:

**A commercial-grade alarm system**
Activates around 4:00 a.m. and repeats every 2.5 minutes. No batteries, electricity, sunrise, emergency, or identifiable reason required. Cannot be disabled.

**Advanced property-security technology**
Deters mail carriers, visitors, toddlers, and any remaining goodwill between you and your neighbors.

**Selective predator response**
When a hawk attacked our flock, Kevin immediately took control of the situation by shoving past the hens and saving the chicken he values most: himself. 😝 The rest of the flock gained valuable independence and problem-solving experience.

**A youth enrichment program**
Kevin recently began chasing small children, helping them improve speed, agility, situational awareness, and respect for poultry. 😝 He is especially courageous when his opponent is under four feet tall and holding a juice box. 😝

**Executive-level leadership**
Kevin contributes no eggs, provides no protection, accepts no feedback, and spends most of the day loudly announcing accomplishments nobody witnessed. 😝
He is ready for upper management.

**Outstanding curb appeal**
He is, unfortunately, very handsome. This has allowed him to avoid consequences for much longer than his personality warrants.

Kevin would be perfect for an experienced rooster owner with plenty of land, no small children, distant neighbors, strong fencing, excellent health insurance, and a deep personal dislike of silence.

His rehoming fee is **$0**, reflecting both his market value and our level of desperation. 🤣🤣

We will include his complete service history, which is just a blank sheet of paper with “SCREAMING” written across it.

Please share. Somewhere out there is a person whose mornings are peaceful, whose children are fearless, and whose neighbors still wave to them.

Kevin is ready to fix all three.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bam. Lamb 🤭
🎩unknown

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TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: roosters

[Georgia Girl 2]

We’ve had Kevin’s kin in the past. 😆

[Labyrinthos]

he would fit right in.

Fit or fight?

[Tymesup]

I hear bacon from flying pigs is delicious, but it’s never in the stores.

[riverrunner]

Hack is head off and fix the problem no Fox needed.

You have chickens and don’t have the nerve to kill one wow.

[tired&retired]

“This premium Tractor Supply Special was sold as a “100% sexed female,” ...”

I see the problem. She is an angry “Trans-Rooster!”

[tired&retired]

When my daughter was about 4 years old, she went to feed the chickens (we had about 200 in our flock) and she came back in crying as the rooster kept attacking her.

I calmed her down and gave her one of those big Fat Albert wiffle ball bats and went out with her.

At first she was scared and wanted to run when the rooster came at her. Gradually, she gained confidence and when the rooster came at her, she hit a home run.

The rooster went tumbling through the air, and hit the ground stunned. It shook it off and decided to attack her again. This time she was ready and full of confidence, hitting another home run.

Soon she was laughing as she ran after the rooster, chasing it with the bat.

The rooster never bothered her again.

I attribute that specific event as the turning point in my daughter developing a strong self confidence in her life. Fear was never a problem, especially as she became an athlete through high school, college, and still today as she is approaching 40 years old with several children of her own.

Her battles with our nubian dairy goat that had long horns and that loved to head butt you from behind was another story. However, she eventually won that battle too after a few wrestling matches.

Farms are the best place to raise children. It helped having 5 older brothers too.

[shotgun]

There are people that sleep past 4:00! My miniature donkey could definitely fix that!

[ladyrustic]

Great story. God bless your daughter. Thanks for sharing.

[Theophilus]

My mom once bought 10 very cute unsexed chicks for Eastter one year. They were cheaper.

My little brother was terrorized, for six months, by 8 out of 10 foghorn roosters. They came at me too, but I used them for place kicking practice.

[Theophilus]

My mom once bought 10 very cute unsexed chicks for Eastter one year. They were cheaper.

My little brother was terrorized, for six months, by 8 out of 10 foghorn roosters. They came at me too, but I used them for place kicking practice.

[Theophilus]

My mom once bought 10 very cute unsexed chicks for Eastter one year. They were cheaper.

My little brother was terrorized, for six months, by 8 out of 10 foghorn roosters. They came at me too, but I used them for place kicking practice.

[MayflowerMadam]

“Farms are the best place to raise children.”

We watch reruns of “The Incredible Dr. Pol” (a vet) on NatGeo Wild. We’re amazed at the farmers’children! They’re up at 5 am and maintain the animals, including the ones they’re showing at the fair for 4H.

After school, they’re mucking our stalls, helping to “pull calves” during birth, bottle feeding calves and goats whose mother’s can’t nurse. More work after school. Added to that is the fact that they’re SMART. Extremely well spoken and are good problem solvers.

One 16-year-old girl drove her horse to the vet in a huge pickup truck, pulling an even bigger horse trailer. She was hefting that rig like nobody’s business. Doc commented that it was good that her parents let her use it. She was insulted. “This is MINE!”

Kids I know don’t even clear the table after a meal. It’s to much effort.

[Chickensoup]

Actually I have found the capons and hens to be good. The roosters: not so much.

[Chickensoup]

Actually I have found the capons and hens to be good. The roosters: not so much.

[ShadowAce]

Raising chickens as a kid, I never let ANY chicken/rooster think it could beat me. I always put that thought right out of their head.

Never had a problem.

[ShadowAce]

They came at me too, but I used them for place kicking practice.

Yeah--ya gotta train them early. Then they are (fairly) well behaved.

[Chickensoup]

I am not sure that was a gift...

[Chickensoup]

I am not sure that was a gift...

[Clutch Martin]

Ever now and again granny would slay an old rooster. It was always stewed. Always.

[Mr. Lucky]

Mrs.Lucky had a similar experience with our rooster; only, instead of a whiffle ball bat, she employed a Colt model 1911.

Our rooster never bothered her again, either.