Friday Silliness Thread

Blu blop

In a desert kingdom, far away on the heavily traveled silk road, the king had a problem. He had a beautiful daughter who longed to be married. There was no queen. She died years ago The king could not bear the thought of living alone.

He called in his topmost and trusted advisors for counsel. He was desperate for a solution to the vexatious problem.
One, a long time political enemy suggested placing the daughter in a cell in the tower and letting her out for dinner two or three times a week. A rejected suitor suggested that the king should make her marry him. Another cautioned to do nothing, just let the situation take care of it’s self. There were lots of spinsters in the kingdom. Yet another suggested a nunnery.

None of these met with royal approval.

After the meeting, a trusted counselor, the Grand Vizier, whispered I have the solution. After the others were dismissed, he gave the solution. A royal decree would go out far and wide and the brides hand would be awarded to the young man who could within one year present the king with a dew drop.

The king rejoiced. He gleefully received the idea because there was no way a dew drop could be found in his domain. Suitors could come and make a presentation. If the presentation failed, the suitor would be executed, his head would roll.

There was something of an administrative blunder that almost ruined the entire plan. When he stood and made the proclamation the Grand Vizier’s speech impediment caused him to require a BLUBLOP to be presented to claim the hand of the princess. There was confusion and some consternation, but who could face down the Grand Vizier?

About a year later, a young man clothed in the finest finery from a far away city knelt before the King and asked for the daughter’s hand in marriage. He had arrived in a splendid sapphire blue carriage trimmed in gold and pulled by four perfectly matched black stallions. The handmaidens of the princess tittered in excitement. One had an embarrassing display of incontinence.

The Grand Vizier gruffly asked the young man for his gift. The handsome one told him “I have nothing for you, This is for the princess” He summoned his foot man who brought forward a splendid small box of the finest wood, inlaid with gold and pearls. When opened, there on a sapphire blue velvet cushion, was a fantastically elegant gold ring set with a magnificent sapphire whose star shown brilliantly.
The princess took a step back and put her hand to her mouth in astonishment. The handmaidens twittered in unstifled excitement. Their eyes were wide with awe.

The king stood shaking his head. The courtiers mumbled among themselves. The king with a wave of his fist shouted “off with his head! “. The princess fainted.

And so it went. Others tried fantastic gifts for the king, but he would not be bribed. The heads mounted up as prince after prince vied for the beautiful bride.

Then as the fateful year ended and spinsterhood loomed large, a dusty and somewhat bedraggled soul came in off the desert. His clothes were in disarray. His horse was caked with dust dried in the lather.

He made a courtly leg before the king and placed a leather sack on the floor. The princess looked on with something that may have been disdain. The handmaidens raised their noses in disapproval.

The Grand Vizier asked gruffly “Who are you and why have you entered our presence in such an unsightly manner?” The princess looked on with awed curiosity. The hand maidens took on looks of stern disapproval. The king looked amused.
The handsome young man looked at the princess forthrightly and told her “Please forgive my appearance. I have journeyed from my palace in the far mountains, traveling across harsh desert with little food and barely enough water. I have come to present the requested price and to claim your beautiful daughter as my bride.”

Once again the princess put her hand to her mouth in awe of the boldness. The king smiled and set up straight. The hand maidens were just ignored in the tense excitement gripping the courtiers.

The Grand Vizier had thoughts of yet another head to dispose, but had the presence of mind to politely ask ”Just what have you brought in that dusty leather sack?”.
The handsome young man asked, “ If I may, I request a small table upon which I will lay my gift.” The Grand Vizier was taken aback in astonishment at such a brash request. But the king nodded and a small gilded table was produced.

With his eyes seldom leaving the beautiful princess, he opened the dusty leather bag and produced three beautifully crafted wooden boxes. They were on comparison more splendid than that brought by the first to lose his head. From the first box he produced a fantastically wrought crystal beaker the facets of which sparkled in the light. The beaker was placed directly in the center of the gilded table.

From the second box, the handsome young man brought forth a similarly crafted elegant flask well sealed with wax. He twisted the seal and removed the diamond crusted golden stopper. He explained “this is the purest of sparkling spring water, captured high on the mountain and fit only for the most beautiful of women in the land”. He then poured the crystal clear water into the sparkling crystal beaker, carefully filling it to the very top.

It can be recounted that the young man had the strict, absolute attention of everyone there. The Grand Vizier looked skeptical. The Princess once again placed her hand to her mouth with a look of admiration and curiosity and serious apprehension. The handmaidens all clutched their pearls. The courtiers strained to see exactly what was transpiring.

The king was no longer smiling. He was sitting on the very edge of his chair with a look of astonishment and abject curiosity. There was a third, much smaller box. What pray tell did that third box contain?

The now broadly smiling young prince once more slapped the dust from his tunic and held up both hands and simultaneously sussshhh ing those gathered. He asked for absolute quiet. You could have heard a pin drop. The hand maidens were barely breathing in anticipation. He lightly grasped the smallest box and flipped open the hinged lid. But no, there was no ring. There was but a small perfectly spherical stone. What appeared to be an ordinary rock. He held it up, grasped between his thumb and fore finger he pivoted so all could see. The courtiers and hand maidens crept forward to get a better glimpse.

He raised the forefinger of the other hand to his lips…….. quiet please.

Then he very carefully lowered his hand and spherical rock towards the crystal beaker and the clear mountain spring water. He dropped the pebble into the water and wonder of extraordinary wonders there was a quiet but unmistakable sound. BLUBOP!

The grand Vizier shook his head in dismay. The courtiers in unison gasped. The hand maidens giggled in unison. The princess held both hands to her breast and smiled broadly.

The King laughed out loud

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