Posted on 07/06/2026 10:42:27 AM PDT by MinorityRepublican
After years of ignoring the world's most popular sport, Americans finally took a keen interest in soccer after discovering how much it can irritate Europeans.
With social media flooded by outraged Europeans crying about having to play the U.S. team at its full strength, Americans were struck by a sudden epiphany.
"So this is why people love soccer," said local man Brad Stephens, watching the Belgian coach cry like a baby. "All these years, I never understood it. Aw, look at those big crocodile tears! I just never knew how much rage and anguish we could put Europeans through with soccer. This is incredible."
Europeans vented their rage across the entire continent due to FIFA deciding that Folarin Balogun, the U.S. striker who was issued an erroneous red card, would be allowed to play after the error was corrected. "How dare it be a fair game? I cannot stop crying and shaking," said local Belgian Maarten Jansen. "We shouldn't have to actually play the the other team, that's so not right. We're special soccer people, and America doesn't even understand the rules! How can FIFA just fix a mistake like that, and now we don't get an advantage? Whaaaa. Boo-hoo!"
At publishing time, the U.S. men's World Cup game had set a new viewership record as tens of millions tuned in to watch more Europeans cry.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
‘... and Americans can add it to its list of favorite sports!”
Americans can add to its list of “Games You Invented, That We Are Better At Than You!”
Why not just bench the guy? or only put him if they need him late.
Would you bench your main scorer in the NFL playoffs if he hadn’t committed a foul, which is what the Europeans want us to do? His red card was issued by NOT following the VAR protocols.
One of these days, we’ll start playing Cricket here ... And a generation or so later we’ll be good at it. And the overseas wailing and gnashing of teeth will be epic.
Exactly.
Just in time for tonight’s game.
Monty Python - Prejudice (Derogatory term for ‘Belgians’)
https://youtu.be/eaLLRIvWz4M?t=48
I see guys playing cricket at a local park all the time. There’s a large Indian population here in Fresno.
One of these days, we’ll start playing Cricket here ..
You mean the Indians living here will be playing it.
You mean the communist pansy-boy hurt faking “sport” ball?
“... that FIFA has overturned several other red cards/bans in this tournament ...”
A small correction if you please. While some red cards have in the past been overturned, this was the first overturn in this WC. There have indeed been a few yellow cards reversed.
An interesting side note: in recent years FIFA has introduced the issuance of a yellow card for ‘simulation’. When an official feels that the writhing and howling from a player on the ground is a bit over the top or even completely faked, the ref can issue a yellow card. It has happened at least once in this tournament in one of the early games.
“...all that running up and down the field ,it just wore me out...”
And that is why Soccer is GREAT for the kids of Aamerica.
FIFA doesn’t issue Emmys?
The Europeans are suffering from SDS- Soccer Derangement Syndrome…
The BabylonBee is funny.
They should make a full movie some day.
It’s soccer.
Nobody cares.
Babylon Bee. OTOH, piss us off again, we'll start the US-World Soccer League and destroy FIFA.
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