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Posted on 04/23/2026 10:05:10 AM PDT by V_TWIN
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Washington Democrats defended their unquenchable thirst for unlimited power on Thursday, confirming that saving democracy requires one party to seize total power and rule forever.
According to long-held American values, true freedom is only possible with the consent of the governed. A government by the people, and for the people, naturally disrupts authoritarianism and leads to lasting contentment. Democrats, however, disagree.
"The only way to protect life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness — as our founders envisioned — is to wrest control of the government from the people and mandate love through unassailable government regulation," explained House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "It's the only way to keep democracy alive."
The consensus among lawmakers is that American democracy struggles under the weight of totalitarian ideals. Democrats, in particular, have warned that an increase in differences of opinion conflicts with their goals — goals which are obviously democratic in nature because it's the name of their party.
"I know what you're thinking, what if we accidentally give control to Hitler?" laughed Jeffries. "Just don't think about it. Give us unlimited power. UNLIMITED POWER!"
"Let democracy die. Kill it if you have to," added Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. "It's the only way to save it."
Voters expressed doubt that giving unlimited power to Democrats would save democracy, but admitted that Trump must be really bad because Jimmy Kimmel said so.
At publishing time, Democratic lawmakers clarified that the only way to preserve the free exchange of ideas was to completely eliminate anyone who has an opinion different from theirs.
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There is not one word of satire in this one.....not one word.
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Yep, as we saw in Virginia, that is their definition of FAIR.
bttt
Dems are doing all they can to gain control of the Congress so they can curtail Trump and his policies and buy off all the illegals support. Dems will gain control of the Presidency only by having the illegal voters paid off for their vote in 2028. Hak’em Jefferies will give away anything to gain control of the Congress.
When Democrat politicians say “no more Mr Nice Guy”, this is what they mean. They’re shedding the final veil.
After their successful coup in 2020 I was terrified America was over. The enemy stole enough Senate seats to reach 50. If not for two RAT Senators refusing to murder America we either would be a dictatorship today or in a second Republican-Democrat Civil war.
Certain things are too important to be left up to ordinary people.
The communists’ so-called “democracy” is an outright dire threat to our Constitutional Republic.
The Bee but the democrats definition of democracy is Dictatorship ,LOL
It’s why the Founders gave us a Republic.
They didn’t want a democracy.
What will be the course of this revolution? Above all, it will establish a democratic constitution, and through this, the direct or indirect dominance of the proletariat. […] Democracy would be wholly valueless to the proletariat if it were not immediately used as a means for putting through measures directed against private property and ensuring the livelihood of the proletariat. …Certainly correct that there is no satire in the Bee piece here.
— The Principles of Communism, #18
smells like communism.
LOL
Check
Sad (and scary) but true.
I was surprised this was satire.
I was surprised this was satire.
The Bee has created a new form. Not sure exactly what to call it. It’s not satire in the conventional sense. It’s factual truth cleverly presented to appear to be satire.
DELUSIONAL
At all.
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