Posted on 03/06/2026 12:47:31 PM PST by V_TWIN
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — The United States State Department issued an evacuation order for the U.S. embassy located in downtown Minneapolis on Friday, citing concerns over the safety of American citizens in the area.
In light of ongoing unrest in the Muslim world, the embassy advised all citizens to leave Minneapolis immediately as they began breaking down their own offices ahead of a final departure back to America.
"We've received multiple threats from Minneapolis narcoterrorist groups and believe it is in the best interest of ongoing diplomatic talks to abandon ship before someone tries to kill us," reported Paul Mayfield, U.S. ambassador to Minneapolis.
According to President Donald Trump, this order was a long time coming. "There was never any hope in Minneapolis. What an absolute nightmare. It's worse than Iran, if you can believe it," he said. "And let me tell you, Iran isn't looking so hot. Or, maybe it's pretty hot depending on your definition. The whole place is on fire. What were we talking about?"
In recent weeks, there had been hope that tensions would ease after the withdrawal of ICE agents. However, dark forces in Minneapolis pounced on the diplomatic retreat, seeing it as an apparent weakness. They instead redoubled their efforts in persecuting Americans.
"The embassy is fallen. All is laid waste," lamented Mayfield. "Would that I would only see that land again in my waking nightmares."
At publishing time, President Trump had authorized an initial wave of airstrikes on Minneapolis.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Dear FRiends,
We need your continuing support to keep FR funded. Your donations are our sole source of funding. No sugar daddies, no advertisers, no paid memberships, no commercial sales, no gimmicks, no tax subsidies. No spam, no pop-ups, no ad trackers.
If you enjoy using FR and agree it's a worthwhile endeavor, please consider making a contribution today:
Click here: to donate by Credit Card
Or here: to donate by PayPal
Or by mail to: Free Republic, LLC - PO Box 9771 - Fresno, CA 93794
Thank you very much and God bless you,
Jim
Nuke the area from orbit... just to be sure.
This satire will trigger the libs into seizures.
Indeed.
Yes as a former Minnesotan I agree. It ia the only way to stop this virus.
Huh? Why is there a US embassy in Minneapolis?
Then it hit me. I was stung by the bee.
🐝
“...as a former Minnesotan...”
Don’t tell me, let me guess...you live in Florida now.
Who knew?
Live and lear, as Tim Walz always says.
ROFL
The Scamalis did declare Minneapolis is theirs ,LOL
HA, GOT ME. 😂
Oh, well.
True.
It really pisses me off that the aniAmericanfascists and their Governor/Mayor/media allies succeeded in driving out officers enforcing Federal law.
Tough as he is, I wish that Trump would double, triple down on this. It is a win with the American people.
“”Why is there a US embassy in Minneapolis? Then it hit me. I was stung by the bee””
YEP - me too!!!!!! Some of us have heart problems enough!!!!
I just hope none are taken hostage before they can escape to freedom.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.