Posted on 03/06/2026 10:00:35 AM PST by V_TWIN
Following his primary loss to Steve Toth, Texas Congressman Dan Crenshaw is now looking for a new career path.
The Babylon Bee has heard through the Washington grapevine that Crenshaw has cast an eye toward one of the following potential jobs:
1. Monocle model: They reportedly only get paid half as much as models for eyeglasses, though.
2. Stockbroker: His years of success and killer portfolio speak for themselves.
3. Circus act as "The Man with Incredibly Poor Depth Perception": Just don't mix it with knife-throwing.
4. Major League Baseball umpire: He'll fit right in.
5. Full-time telescope operator: Need someone to look at something through a telescope? He's perfect.
6. Designer eyepatch creator: There's almost no competition in this market.
7. Trombone player in a ska band: No relation to his eye. He just likes ska.
8. Somali pirate: All he needs to do is move to Somalia. Or even just Minneapolis.
It's only a matter of time before he lands on his feet. What other jobs would be a great fit for Dan Crenshaw?
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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11. RINO
Permanent on The View.
MTG’s new “boyfriend”.
The new Mr. Peanut!
11. Mullah Omar impersonator.
LOL. The Bee is just plain mean sometimes.
Not this time though!
Okay a little mean...😁
He deserves it IMO
Best title of the week!
Crenshaw won’t be going away. He’s the only one to tell Trump he was hiring too many no-talent grifters.
Maybe he was right about no talent grifters, but he also occupied an office with an extremely low bar as regards qualifications and proven competence, to wit: Jasmine, Omar, AOC, etc
He could get Jerry Seinfeld’s puffy shirt and sail the seas as a pirate.
He can be JD Vance’s beard trimmer.
I’m a Houstonian and extremely disappointed with Crenshaw,but mocking a disability, the result of potentially sacrificing his life in the service of the United States of America as a Navy Seal is over the top. BTW, his good eye was also damaged, and could have been entirely blind.
I love it when a douchebag who takes himself way too seriously becomes a national joke.
Even when the Bee plucks the low-hanging fruit it’s hysterical.
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