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Is my mom selfish? She wants to spend her millions before she dies, but my brother and I are broke. Do we deserve an inheritance?
moneywise ^ | Feb 4, 2026 | Monique Danao

Posted on 02/05/2026 3:59:48 AM PST by where's_the_Outrage?

Isabella and Lorenzo are siblings who have faced financial difficulties throughout adulthood. Both are in their 30s — Isabella’s a divorced mom of three, Lorenzo’s a married father of two — and they’re barely making ends meet. Let’s say they have only a few thousand dollars in savings between them.

She inherited a home and a substantial amount of money when her own mother died, making her a multi-millionaire, and she was also the beneficiary of a life insurance policy when her husband (Isabella and Lorenzo’s father) passed away five years ago. After her husband died, the mother sold the family home, which had greatly appreciated in value since they bought it 40 years ago.

That’s why Isabella was shocked when, on a recent phone call, her mother told her that she planned to spend every cent she had before she died — leaving nothing in her will to her two children. Her mother said she wanted to enjoy her golden years to the fullest and had crafted a “die with zero” budget that would ensure she spent all her money.

Isabella thinks their mom is being selfish, while Lorenzo is worried she’s being reckless. Should the siblings confront their mother about her retirement plans?

Some billionaires have famously declared that they won’t leave their substantial fortune to their children.

Laurene Powell Jobs, wife of the late Steve Jobs, intends to pass on her estimated $14.9 billion to charity. Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan have set up the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative for research and intend to give 99% of their Meta shares away. Warren Buffett and Bill Gates have also famously stated that their children should make their own way in the world, with Gates noting, “leaving kids massive amounts of money is not a favor to them

(Excerpt) Read more at msn.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: adultchildren; estateplanning; inheritance; retirement
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To: where's_the_Outrage?

Well, your wife married an older man and doesn’t have to “work”. She (and perhaps her daughter) naturally believes that money comes from family rather than work. You have to break that connection because it leads to misery. Money comes from work or a result of it.
That whole “money comes from family” is rampant in my family which is why I don’t live near them.


41 posted on 02/05/2026 4:48:36 AM PST by AppyPappy (They don't call you a Nazi because they think you are one. They do it to justify violence. )
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To: AZJeep

Biblically and historically, before the welfare state, children were supposed to help parents in old age!


Yes. It is also biblically recommended to build and leave a legacy for your children, both morally and physically.

Teaching them to be moral is as important as leaving them an inheritance, but an inheritance is not unimportant.


42 posted on 02/05/2026 4:49:50 AM PST by marktwain (----------------------)
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To: CaptainK
Mom became rich through an inheritance but doesn't want to benefit her children in the same way.

The mom isn't dead yet.

43 posted on 02/05/2026 4:54:45 AM PST by EVO X ( )
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To: dforest

My FIL worked hard to leave everything to his wife but he outlived her.

We ended up taking care of him his last 5 years because he had dementia and the last few years, took him into our home. We used his money to get him the best equipment, devices, nutrition and daytime caregivers to make him as comfortable as possible. We didn’t take a penny for our own efforts and gave a line by line financial breakdown of everything of his we spent, every month and what it was for.

My husband’s sister, who called her father only once in those five years complained we were spending her inheritance, which was a waste since he didn’t know the difference. She thought we should put him in a nursing home and let Medicare cover it. 😡

We still ended up with a decent bit leftover which got divided up among the three kids, but she still complained.


44 posted on 02/05/2026 4:57:03 AM PST by LilFarmer (Isaiah 54:17)
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To: fso301
Seen a few movie scenes where the will says I being of sound mind and body spent it all.

I have seen bumper stickers saying, “I am spending my children’s inheritance.”

I keep seeing these kinds of stories on You Tube, all the time.

45 posted on 02/05/2026 4:57:59 AM PST by Mark17 (Retired USAF air traffic controller. 🎤 Father of USAF ISR pilot. ✈️ Aviation is in our DNA)
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To: SaveFerris
I think this happened to George Costanza

Something about Del Boca Vista

Phase III or IV?

46 posted on 02/05/2026 4:59:50 AM PST by Lizavetta
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To: fso301

Or the bumper sticker on an RV: we are spending our children’s inheritance.


47 posted on 02/05/2026 5:01:22 AM PST by Maine Mariner
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To: AppyPappy

Muzzies are married by that age.


48 posted on 02/05/2026 5:06:57 AM PST by HYPOCRACY (Wake up, smell the cat food in your bank account. )
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To: where's_the_Outrage?

I’ll go against the trend and say yes, the mother is being selfish. Her grandchildren are living in financial instability and these are trying times. I don’t think she should go without in order to leave them something, but to deliberately fritter away millions? On what? Cruises and expensive purses? It almost seems hostile... her stated goal seems to be to ensure that her descendants get nothing. Moreover, this isn’t money she earned herself, it’s money that was passed down, or earned by her husband, or paid out by insurance. She sounds like a dreadful person. I would not do something like that.


49 posted on 02/05/2026 5:12:06 AM PST by A_perfect_lady (The greatest wealth is to live content with little. -Plato)
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To: LilFarmer

Good for you. I imagine the sister who wanted his money never lifted a finger to help in his care.

This is the way it goes many times.


50 posted on 02/05/2026 5:15:30 AM PST by dforest
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To: Raycpa

Even if you’re pushing 70, Mom and Dad might have different ideas for the wealth of their estate as far as you’re concerned. To just assume that you’d be a shoo-in for a wealthy inheritance is probably unwise. If your expectations are realistic, you should already have a plan of your own.


51 posted on 02/05/2026 5:19:53 AM PST by equaviator (Nobody's perfect. That's why they put pencils on erasers!)
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To: The Duke
We started a Roth IRA for each kid when they started work and learned to save some of the paycheck. I let each kid pick his or her own scheme (ie X amount set aside for car repairs and Y amount for other things), as long as they implemented it. That created a fire in them, especially as their investment grew.

We paid for their college/trade school as long as they picked good careers and asked people already working those careers which training would actually help. Three of the four still invest their paychecks — I’m certain of two of them because they text me to do it for them. One of them does it on his own and asks me for advice every now and then.

As far as living on investments in retirement: the argument of having nothing left when we die vs leaving some for inheritance. My wife and I will withdraw 4% per year (I’m quasi retired). It’ll grow on average more than we withdraw. So if we live to be over 100 we’ll still have money to live on. As a side effect, that’ll leave some for inheritance anyway. Besides, the one who is a nurse will probably be taking care of us.

52 posted on 02/05/2026 5:20:23 AM PST by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: where's_the_Outrage?
When my dad passed he created a trust that supported my mom for as long as he lived and the 6 kids with whatever remained. 2 of my older sisters were bitter and jealous that others had done better. Unfortunately one was the executor of the will and did all she could to make things difficult for my mother. Fortunately, there is such a thing as Karma.

My mom's older brother who never had kids socked away a good bit of cash left most of it to my mom when he passed. She then decided to "reward" those two with a vastly smaller share of her money. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! They would have been better off - even financially - had they simply acted decently in the first place instead of being greedy, jealous and nasty. They ended up excommunicated from the rest of the family and got less money.

I never felt that my parents "owed" me anything. I was never entitled to a plug nickel from them. The money they earned was theirs and they could do with it what they pleased. It was not my place to complain whatever they decided.

53 posted on 02/05/2026 5:23:50 AM PST by FLT-bird
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To: AZJeep
..children were supposed to help parents in old age!

However:
1. Does helping an old age parent obligate 'children' to live affluently from the resources of the aged?
2. Do the parents require that their wealth be transferred upon death totally, or even minimally, to the 'children'?

54 posted on 02/05/2026 5:24:59 AM PST by Thommas (The snout of the camel is already under the tent.)
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To: where's_the_Outrage?

You are 70 and your daughter is 12?

Holy cow, you got some lethal Go Juice!

You’re the Man. :)


55 posted on 02/05/2026 5:25:00 AM PST by Flavious_Maximus (Tony Fauci will be put on death row and die of COVID!)
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To: where's_the_Outrage?

56 posted on 02/05/2026 5:25:14 AM PST by larrytown (A Cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do. Then they graduate...)
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To: where's_the_Outrage?

those kids dont “deserve” anything. She doesn’t owe them a penny if they are grown.


57 posted on 02/05/2026 5:25:52 AM PST by TexasFreeper2009
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To: Jonty30

One of the greatest gifts parents can give their offspring is the ability and knowledge to be independent and self-sufficient.


58 posted on 02/05/2026 5:26:01 AM PST by Rlsau1
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To: Rockingham

yep, it is just a stunt. Avoids taxes and gives children a cushy job paying huge amounts forever.


59 posted on 02/05/2026 5:27:53 AM PST by TexasFreeper2009
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To: where's_the_Outrage?

No.

Your mother knows you are a worthless no count, and that leaving the money to a charity is the highest and best disposition


60 posted on 02/05/2026 5:28:24 AM PST by bert ( (KE. NP. +12) Quid Quid Nominatur Fabricatur)
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