WILL PRESIDENT TRUMP BUILD A BIG BEATIFUL WALL AROUND NEW YORK CITY TO KEEP THE MILITANT MUSLIM COMMIE MADMAN-MAMDANI
AND HIS IDIOT VOTERS FROM INFECTING THE REST OF THE NATION?
Posted on 12/31/2025 1:52:23 PM PST by V_TWIN
It's the end of December, which means people all over the world are making their lists of New Year's resolutions for 2026 — and President Donald Trump is no different.
Through high-level contacts, The Babylon Bee has obtained the following copy of Trump's resolutions for the coming year:
Build a wall around New York City: To keep the riffraff from escaping into the U.S.
Put his face on all U.S. currency: Nobody remembers people like Lincoln, Andrew Jackson, or Ben Franklin anyway.
Reconnect with Macaulay Culkin: Make sure he knows where to find the bathroom.
Broker peace with all the losers and haters: A truce only Trump can negotiate.
Break ground on the White House Monster Truck Arena: Fulfilling a promise he made to JD Vance.
Apply crippling economic pressure on McDonald's until they bring the McRib back year-round: Sky-high tariffs on every extra value meals until they cave.
Abandon strategy of hiring hot female attorneys and instead hire even hotter female attorneys: It'll definitely work this time.
Bomb the Norwegian Nobel Committee for refusing to award him the Peace Prize: That'll show ‘em.
To achieve world peace so Earth will be unified against the impending alien invasion: The galactic army from Zorlox IX won't stand a chance when Trump is elected President of Earth.
Prepare an astonishingly spiteful obituary for that 4th-rate loser Dick Van Dyke: He never said nice things about Trump, even once.
Forget the list — change nothing: President Trump is already perfect.
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Jim
I could support this.
Can we get one around Portland as well?
And chicango
“Build a wall around New York City: To keep the riffraff from escaping into the U.S.”
Hey, that would make a great movie, wouldn’t it?
Don’t know about “great”. Not a bad popcorn flick.
👍
According to Harvard "Professor" Avi Loeb, the 3I/Atlas interstellar visitor is alien. One of President Trump's supersecret New Year's Resolutions is to place the genetic material of Ocrazio-Cortex and Bernie Sanders on the 3I/ATLAS. When the 3I/ATLAS arrives at the Zorlox home planet, the resulting AOC/Sanders plague of liberalism will destroy any standing armies and police forces. The only thing that the Zorlox Empire will be able to export is Social Workers.
It could be a series like Pirates of the Caribbean.
“Escape from _____” just fill in the blank with any EFFed up lib city or state.
Deport all Somali men to Pakistan to fill in the gap of Pakistani men who moved to England.
Have schools teach spelling using Truth Social.
Deport all Somali women to China to fill in the gap of China's shortage of marriage aged women, in exchange for China lowering tariffs on American goods.
Archive the entire National Archives on Truth Social.
Accept Alberta as the 51st state, after first making sure that Celine Dion is a Quebecer, not Albertan.
Set up a Truth Social account for each country's head of state and make a TS group that only we can read and post into. Big Balls can set that up for me.
Buy Greenland as the 52nd state. Allow the Inuit to declare themselves a Native American tribe if they can first prove it buy letting me build them a casino. A big beautiful casino. Like no Dane has ever seen before.
Make Big Balls the CTO of Truth Social. Get him a girlfriend. A big beautiful girlfriend. Well, no, not big. Is my PR girl available?
Bomb Mexicans living near the Tijuana River until they quit putting sewage into the river that's poisoning California waters, since Nobody Newsome can't run for governor again.
Heck, just make it all the big cities.
WILL PRESIDENT TRUMP BUILD A BIG BEATIFUL WALL AROUND NEW YORK CITY TO KEEP THE MILITANT MUSLIM COMMIE MADMAN-MAMDANI
AND HIS IDIOT VOTERS FROM INFECTING THE REST OF THE NATION?
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