I covered my parents' home for 8 years, now my sister won't leave

The Daily Overview ^ | Dec 20, 2025 | Elias Broderick

[where's_the_Outrage?]

I spent eight years paying the mortgage, taxes and repairs on my parents' house, assuming that when they died, my sister and I would share both the grief and the responsibility. Instead, I now co-own a property with a sibling who refuses to move out, pay rent or agree on a plan, and the family home that once felt like a refuge has become a legal and emotional minefield. My situation is personal, but the dynamics are increasingly common as adult children inherit homes together and discover that shared ownership is far more complicated than it looked on paper.

In my case, the slide from helping my parents to effectively carrying their house happened in slow motion. I covered utilities "just for a few months," then took over the mortgage when my father's health failed, then paid for a new roof and a 2015 furnace because no one else could. By the time both parents were gone, I had eight years of receipts and a deep emotional investment, but the deed still listed us as equal heirs. That is the first hard lesson of these disputes: courts look at title and estate documents, not who wrote the most checks, and the law often treats siblings as equal co-owners regardless of who kept the lights on.

Estate lawyers warn that these arrangements are too complex for casual promises or handwritten notes. One firm bluntly notes that issues around wills, beneficiary designations and property titling are "too complicated for anybody who does not do this all day, every day" to navigate without risking serious mistakes, not to mention the "legal hassle and emotional distress" that follow when a DIY plan goes wrong,

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TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: estate; inheritance; propertysplit; will

[where's_the_Outrage?]

This is a good warning on leaving major assets in shared property, not all recipients are reasonable and responsible. Wills should have a way to support resolution. One way is to have a buyout clause such as a shared owner can make offer to buyout the others, then the others can either accept the offer, or match it and take ownership.

[9YearLurker]

Sounds like paying the bills for elderly and dying parents was meant as a RE investment to bigfoot the sibling in the estate—and now that plan is not working out.

[Libloather]

[Candor7]

One legal remedy is applyingto a Suoerior Court for an order or partition and sale, then argie in court that her share should be minimal, citing the mortgage payment history.

This minimozes her share, then remortgage the house and buy her out,or sell it in the open market and take your share.

You will need tp pay for 3 appraisals by licensed appraissers.

You can also ask the court to order that SHE pay for the costs of the application of an order opf partition and sale.

It will tale about 8 months to a year.The get an order to vacate her if you need it.You can also apply for an order to vacate at the front end of the action.

[Sequoyah101]

I had to execute a buyout to clear the air. Bad deal all the way around.

Bad legal decisions have bad consequences is all I will say.

[Omnivore-Dan]

Very similar to what happened to a friend of mine. He built an addition onto the house after his father died, because his mother found it increasingly difficult to climb the stairs to her bedroom. After the mother died he and his sister had equal ownership. His sister got divorced and with 4 kids moved into the house. She didn’t pay for anything, utilities, maintenance, or taxes, and she had money. My friend offered her more money than 1/2 of the house and property was worth and she finally agreed to move out. Now the house is worth much more due to the housing shortage so he will recoup his loss.

[maddog55]

Deaths in a family bring out the worst in families...the leaches show their true colors.

[CIB-173RDABN]

This is why our will specifies the home to be sold and the proceeds be split.

[aklurker]

My two cents: Reach an agreement with your sister to sell the house and split the proceeds 50/50, eat the loss of paying the mortgage and keeping the lights on. Be the magnanimous one, and then don’t hold this over your sister in the future. Family is Family and you can’t always chose who they are & we should bend some to keep the family ties secure(bend some but I know there is a limit).

[metmom]

A friend had a situation with her sister that was brutal.

The sister was greedy and kept challenging everything about how the estate was being settled and the lawyers got the estate in legal fees and they both got almost nothing. In her greed, the sister blew any inheritance they could have had.

And I don’t even want to get started with crooks lawyers. I know someone who is dealing with a shady lawyer who is dragging his feet in settling a simple estate and now claims she owes him 5 figures in legal fees for nothing so far, in addition to the retainer she paid, and wants her to pay him before he does more work. And he’s done nothing but screw up the paperwork and insist she come back in to sign the papers yet again.

[AppyPappy]

Deadbeats are usually oblivious to the worth of the property. They only understand cash.

[metmom]

Deaths in a family bring out the worst in families...the leaches show their true colors.

THAT'S an understatement if ever I heard one.

[redfreedom]

No kidding. I was hated by distant relatives when an aunt’s will did not meet their expectations. I was executor of the estate and had nothing to do with writing the will. I was completely shunned to include being shunned at funerals while my brother was a paul bearer.

[af_vet_1981]

If only King Solomon could hear this case ...


Luke 11:31, 12:
The queen of the south shall rise up in the judgment with the men of this generation, and condemn them: for she came from the utmost parts of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and, behold, a greater than Solomon is here.


[13] And one of the company said unto him, Master, speak to my brother, that he divide the inheritance with me.
[14] And he said unto him, Man, who made me a judge or a divider over you?
[15] And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.
[16] And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully:
[17] And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?
[18] And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.
[19] And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.
[20] But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?
[21] So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.
[22] And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.
[23] The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment.
[24] Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?
[25] And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?
[26] If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?
[27] Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
[28] If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?
[29] And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.
[30] For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.
[31] But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.

[aklurker]

Yes, I dealt with one greedy sibling (of 4 when our mother passed. There was basically a house and land and our fathers business (he had passed years earlier and our mother continued running the business). We had time before our mother passed to talk to her about things. Our brother stated outright that the business was his and although he was not part of the business at the time he was the only one who lived in the area and we were all agreeable to that with no strings. Then came the real estate, and again we were agreed we would sell the house and split the money 4 ways. Then we found out that our brother wanted the house as well, and we agreed that he would have to buy the other 3 of us out. He wanted us to wait for us to sell his existing house, and we said ok. A few months later he has moved his family into our parents house. Two years later he has still not got his house on the market, and although living in the estate house he has not offered to pay the taxes or insurance so that money is coming out of the Estate. Finally we told him to fish or cut bait and either get his house on the market by such an such date, or move and we would go ahead with selling the estate house. We eventually proceeded and got the Estate sold and split the money 4 ways, but our brother is now estranged from the rest of us for the way “he was treated” he claims our sister who was the executor stole money from the business when the the early days of the estate settlement, but I know my sister and I know my brother and I know this did not happen. Anyhow families are tough sometimes especially with inheritences

[Omnivore-Dan]

It wasn’t my sister, it was a friend of mine who’s sister was a cheapskate. She had money. The parents were wealthy, left both with a nice bundle. But she refused to pay for anything, and the sister’s kids did some damage to the house, which he had to fix.

[odawg]

According to Jesus there will be generational friction in the last big resurrection, in whatever context I can’t imagine. Wonder what the World War II gneration will have to say to this generation of democrats.

[oldtech]

Seems like home buyers face the same situation that car buyers do. If they want to trade up, their vehicle is not worth much, if they attempt to sell, it is still not worth much, but if a dealer has a similar vehicle to sell, then it may become “valuable” because there is a shortage of such cars. I have not tried to buy property lately, but I’m sure a real estate outfit would say my house “needs a lot of work to sell” but would be asking a lot for a little “fixer upper” if I wanted to sell it & move. I will stay put for now & fix up the old car what I have to instead of trading, paying difference, & ending up with something worse than I had. Opinions on this?

[maddog55]

My father died 40 years ago at 55. My mother had the home and although paid for she couldn’t keep it up. I paid the taxes yearly and then she decided to sell. I offered to buy it from her, fix it up and all she had to do was pay the utilities and my family would have a place to stay when we visited and keep the home in the family.

My brother said I was screwing her over so she sold the house, blew all the money on asinine expensive rentals and ended up living in low income rental for seniors. She’s now in assisted living at 91 and my brother told her I would take care of all of it... I told her I was unaware of that arrangement and that bad decisions are not my problem. She’s in Maine so Maincare takes care of all expenses.

I give her a monthly sum that the state can’t touch and I call weekly. Spoke to my brother once since about 2006 and that was a disaster as expected. He’s 2 years older, a social justice warrior, BLM supporter and raving liberal lunatic.

When my grandparents (married 71 years) died on my father’s side there was a contested will. All the grandkids and there was a lot was supposed to get $10k each, my mother was supposed to get more than that. My grandparents were awesome people and saw their 3 sons die of cancer and their daughter, my favorite Aunt took care of them for years. She got the money as she should have for what she did. My mother and brother were pissed because I wouldn’t chime in for the $$. I said a I miss my grandparents and could care less about any money. They never forgot that either and hated the Aunt...go figure.

Death brings out the worst in families as I mentioned..it’s insanity.

[deport]

One way is to have a buyout clause such as a shared owner can
make offer to buyout the others, then the others can either
accept the offer, or match it and take ownership.

**********

I agree 100%. I had the same situation on both sides of the
family. I was living in another state and didn't intend on
going back there at my retirement. We didn't have problems
of agreeing on a plan that they purchased my portion and I
retained a part of the royalties until my death. I still pay my
share of property taxes each year