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Posted on 12/05/2025 5:33:00 AM PST by where's_the_Outrage?
Many companies claim to be modern and fair, yet some old habits still survive surprisingly well. One employee found out just how quickly things can escalate when she questioned a task she’d been quietly assigned for months.
Hello, Bright Side,
I’m 27F, a project engineer. My boss kept asking me to take notes at meetings with clients. I didn’t mind at first, until I noticed I was the only one he asked. When I finally refused, he smirked and said, “Women are best at it.” I reported him to HR.
The next day, I was heading to my desk when a coworker grabbed my arm and whispered, “He’s pissed. He’s been blaming you all morning.” I honestly felt sick walking to my workstation because I had no idea what he’d try next.
When I came up to my desk, I saw a small box sitting on it. Inside was a note. It said: “We both know you’ve overreacted. Let’s fix this between us.” There was also a Starbucks gift card for $10.
I immediately gave the box to HR. They asked if he’d contacted me outside of work (he hadn’t). They said the gift card was an attempt to influence an active investigation, which is against policy. He was suspended and then let go. I’m very glad HR took it seriously before things escalated.
But... am I wrong for not giving him a chance to talk privately before going to HR?
Mary
Hello, Mary,
Well, this line—"Women take better notes“—could be displayed right next to “You’re too emotional for leadership” and “We’re like a family here” in the Museum of Workplace Misconceptions.
1. The note-taking comment wasn’t harmless—it was a clear bias cue. Your boss didn’t say, “You take good notes.” He said, “Women are best at it.” That’s not a compliment. It’s a category error.
That smirk you mentioned? That’s the behavioral equivalent of someone saying, “I know exactly what I’m doing, and try me.”
2. The gift card wasn’t a peace offering—it was a policy violation. A $10 Starbucks card is many things:
A gesture of apology? A weak attempt at bribery? A liquid asset valued at precisely one latte and a cake pop? But what it is not is an appropriate response during an HR investigation.
In corporate compliance, even small gifts can be considered attempts to influence outcomes. There are entire HR training modules dedicated to this.
3. Giving him a “private conversation” first was never your job. Let’s imagine what a private talk would have looked like:
You: “Your comment was inappropriate.” Him: “Relax.” You: “I won’t take notes on command anymore.” Him: “You women are so sensitive.”
You heard your colleague, your boss spent the morning blaming you. He didn’t consider that he was wrong. Not a single second.
Going directly to HR was the only appropriate step.
So, are you wrong? No. Not even slightly. You handled this like someone who understands not only her rights, but also the psychological pattern of someone trying to test boundaries and save himself when caught.
Bright Side
And Mary isn’t the only one who’s faced this kind of pushback. When Gloria, a senior analyst, was told a leadership role was “too demanding for women,” she filed a report—and a few months later, she was the one sitting in her boss’s chair.
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When this modern wave of feminist stuff first got heavy in the last 55-60 years it was secretaries refusing to get the boss coffee, there was story after story about that growth in the workplace.
Damn whiner.
Imagine if the following was said...
“Men are much better at_____________”
I mean it’s not like he asked her to iron his shirt.
If men can lose his job over comments like that, it is all over for men in businesses. HR will ultimately put themselves out of a job when it all collapses.
I’ll take things that never happened for $1,000.
How can she take accurate notes when she has to get up repeatedly to get the coffee?
“Let’s imagine...”
Typical female: Speculusion. They speculate then make conclusions using the fantasy.
eHem: Estrogen Mayhem.
“””I was a lead engineer working for a VP, he would volunteer to be the note taker in meetings. His philosophy was that the note taker controlled the agenda. I became the meeting note taker and was promoted accordingly.”””
I agree. I was also a note taker and was promoted accordingly over those who liked to talk, talk, talk at meetings.
Why go through the cost and effort to produce a 30 minute or one hour television special when you can throw out 10 stories, some of which the newly indignant will share with others?
I'd categorize this story as One-That-Never-Happened.
AI workers/robots are going to put HR out of business.
Barefoot, pregnant, kitchen.....
The purpose of women is to bear and nurture children
She let her sexist mentality overcome her reason for being
And make the sammiches!
I can see something like this happening and it isn’t fair to the woman. Its not a huge Feminist issue but people should be mindful of things like this. Its like when bosses ask people who aren’t married to stay late or work on holidays all the time because they don’t have a family.
That is true. Control or at least influence over communication is key.
Which is why Stalin eventually gained power in the Soviet Union. He was just the General Secretary, a position no one else wanted. But he controlled the agenda, and had access to all of the information about everyone else in the Party and could manipulate the other party members. Even gave Trotsky the wrong date for Lenin’s funeral.
If I remember correctly they also refused to make the coffee, I guess the CEO can make it and then stand around waiting for it to percolate so that he can fill his cup.
Maybe lack of coffee led to some of these Bud Light type corporate decisions of the modern era.
“Women are best at it.”
That was a stupid thing to say. About the only thing a man can say that is true and unchallengeable is that women are the best at birthing children. Outside of that, they’re in unchartered territory.
wy69
“Women take better notes“
This guy should have been fired for incompetence.
How can women take the best notes? How can they possibly hear everything that’s going on from the kitchen?
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