[LouAvul]

I always figured hitler murdered some sap his size, burned the corpse, collected all the diamonds he could carry, and went to south america. And his loyal cultists affirmed it was hitler in that ditch.

[Frank Drebin]

Orrrr….knowing that someday the Allies would develop the ability to check DNA evidence, the Nazis created an elaborate ruse to cover the fact that Hitler did NOT kill himself in the bunker and instead fled to Argentina, lived out the rest of his life, then had himself cloned and even today the world is actually being run by a secret cabal of Hitler clones who have been placed in positions of power in all of the major nations, except for one clone who is a door greeter at an Ollie’s Bargain Outlet. The cloning process isn’t perfect you know.

[Bayard]

Hitler was trans

[rktman]

Yeah, but have they linked the ‘DNA’ to Trump or Kirk yet cnn?

[HereInTheHeartland]

He was a incel?

[Jeff Chandler]

He must have gone through puberty. How else could he have grown that snazzy mustache?

[tumblindice]

Adolf Hitler in the movie Umfallend (Falling Down):
“I’m the ... bad guy?”

[dfwgator]

I've seen this movie...

[bigbob]

Hitter has got one ball, confirming what we learned on the playground.

[Glad2bnuts]

Hitler escaped to Argentina, whomever they conducted the DNA tests on was not him. My Uncle had only one nut, he fathered 8 children. Five boys and three girls.

[Raycpa]

I think Hitler is sharing a house on the beach with Elvis.

[antidemoncrat]

“Researchers say they verified and sequenced Hitler’s DNA. What they discovered is a controversial bombshell”

“Researchers have analyzed a sample of DNA believed to belong to Adolf Hitler”

Seems like they left ‘believed to belong” out of the headline.

[where's_the_Outrage?]

WEB Griffin series The Presidential Agent says Hitler’s testicle was bitten off by a dog (from Goggle):

The claim that Adolf Hitler’s testicle was bitten off by a dog is a myth and historically false. This story likely originated from the British wartime propaganda song “Hitler Has Only Got One Ball”, and a fictional account in a book, rather than from historical fact.

Historical evidence, including medical records and recent DNA analysis, points to Hitler having had a condition called right-sided cryptorchidism (an undescended right testicle) since birth, which is a congenital abnormality.

Key facts regarding Hitler’s testicles and dogs:

Medical Records: A 1923 medical examination report from Landsberg Prison, where Hitler was incarcerated after the failed Beer Hall Putsch, explicitly states that he suffered from an undescended right testicle.

War Injury Myth: There were rumors, including an alleged (and likely falsified) Soviet autopsy report and a secondhand account from a medic published decades later, that Hitler lost a testicle due to a shrapnel injury at the Battle of the Somme during World War I. However, medical records from the time of the war and the 1923 prison exam contradict this, suggesting the condition was congenital.

The Dog Myth’s Origin: The story of a dog biting off his testicle is a likely fabrication, possibly stemming from the novel The Hunters by William Edmund Butterworth (W.E.B. Griffin), where a violent encounter with a dog (a Bouvier des Flandres) is given as the reason for his monorchism.

[Vermont Lt]

This utter fixation on all things Hitler is a mystery to me. I was led to believe he was a bad guy.

[43north]

Hah! Find Adolf’s hideout in Argentina and you’ll find Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa, and Jeffrey Epstein too 😜