Posted on 11/08/2025 3:03:42 PM PST by Heartlander
My family’s story is woven into the fabric of America’s immigrant tapestry. On my father’s side, his grandparents emigrated from Germany in the early 20th century, only to face beatings and discrimination for speaking their native tongue during the World Wars. They learned quickly to hide their accents in public, mastering English while building lives in the northern U.S. amid economic struggles. Yet, they persevered, creating happy, prosperous homes and becoming proud Americans. My grandparents carried that forward, instilling in my dad a deep appreciation for this land of second chances.
My mother’s roots trace back to Ireland, with ancestors who fought and died alongside the Union in the Civil War, battling to end slavery and preserve the nation. Her father, a Naval surgeon, was stationed in Puerto Rico when she was born, so she learned Spanish before English. Her childhood was a whirlwind of global travel—living in Greece, exploring Europe—before the family settled back in the U.S., where she met my dad. Their union was a beautiful blend of cultures, and they raised us to embrace diversity without division.
Today, I’m happily married, and we’ve raised a son who’s fluent in Spanish—not from classes, but from years of playing travel soccer with teammates from Mexican and Central American families. We formed lasting bonds with their parents over sideline chats and post-game barbecues. Politically, I lean conservative, but I’ve got plenty of liberal friends. We rib each other about politics, sometimes spar heatedly, but always end with a beer and an agreement to disagree. I didn’t vote for President Obama, but I was thrilled to see him elected as our first Black president in 2008. I naively thought it signaled the end of racism—a milestone where we’d finally move past color. Instead, I watched divisions deepen under his administration and worsen since. What started as hope turned into a fractured society, where race became a weapon rather than a bridge.
This brings me to the heart of what I call “The White Gaslight”—a insidious form of societal manipulation where white people are systematically demeaned, labeled as inherently racist, and made to question their own reality, all while the accusers engage in blatant racism themselves. Gaslighting, as we know it, is that psychological tactic where someone makes you doubt your sanity. In this cultural context, it’s telling white folks they’re the problem because of their skin color, culture, or history, while ignoring facts that contradict the narrative. It’s racism dressed up as anti-racism, and it’s tearing at the soul of America.
Consider how education has become ground zero for this gaslighting. In schools today, teachers instruct white children that they’re inherently bad because of their skin color. “White privilege” is hammered home as an original sin, something they can’t escape or atone for. Kids are taught that whites have no culture, or if they do, it’s tainted by oppression and colonialism. Any attempt to celebrate European heritage—be it Irish festivals, German traditions, or Italian cuisine—is dismissed as “appropriative” or “problematic.” Meanwhile, other cultures are exalted, which is fine in principle, but not when it comes at the expense of shaming one group. My own background? My German ancestors were persecuted here, yet I’m supposed to feel guilty for “whiteness” as if it’s a monolith. This isn’t education; it’s indoctrination, fostering self-loathing in young minds who should be learning unity.
The slavery narrative is a prime example of this distortion. White Americans are constantly told to be ashamed of their ancestors’ role in slavery, as if every white family owned plantations. But history tells a different story. Slavery was a global evil, practiced across continents for millennia, yet America is uniquely vilified. What’s ignored is that the U.S. is the only nation where hundreds of thousands fought a bloody civil war to end it—over 360,000 Union soldiers died, many from families like my mother’s Irish kin who bled on battlefields like Gettysburg. Millions of white immigrants, including my father’s German relatives, arrived long after slavery’s abolition, seeking refuge from poverty or war.
They built lives through hard work, not exploitation. Yet, the gaslight persists: “Your whiteness makes you complicit.” It’s ahistorical nonsense, punishing people for sins they didn’t commit while erasing the sacrifices of those who fought against them. Even more hypocritical is the notion that Black people can’t be racist because they lack “power.” This double standard is gaslighting at its core: racism is redefined as prejudice plus power, conveniently excusing bigotry from minorities while condemning whites solely based on skin color. I’ve seen it play out—comments like “All white people are racist” go unchallenged, but reverse the colors, and it’s a hate crime. This isn’t equality; it’s revenge disguised as justice. It divides us further, pitting groups against each other in a zero-sum game where no one wins. My diverse friendships from childhood prove racism isn’t innate to any race; it’s a human flaw we all must combat. Telling one group they’re immune while another is guilty by birth is the very definition of racism.
This gaslighting extends to America’s very foundation. Critics decry the U.S. as irredeemably evil because of slavery, ignoring that we’re the nation that pioneered its abolition on such a scale. Britain and others ended it through legislation, but America spilled rivers of blood in moral conviction. The Constitution, flawed as it was, laid the groundwork for progress—the 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments, the Civil Rights Act. We’ve stumbled, sure, but we’ve advanced farther than most. To teach kids to hate their country for its past sins while overlooking its triumphs is to breed ingratitude and division. My family traveled the world; we saw oppression elsewhere. America isn’t perfect, but it’s a beacon because it allows self-correction.
At the root of this is left-wing politics, which has morphed into a cult of self-loathing narcissism. These folks believe they’re superior precisely because they hate—hate their country, their skin, their gender, their traditions. It’s a twisted virtue-signaling: “I despise America, so I’m enlightened.” If white, they flagellate themselves over “whiteness,” proclaiming it toxic to prove their wokeness. They reject their gender, embracing fluidity not out of genuine identity but as a badge of moral superiority. White male Christians? The ultimate villains in this narrative, scapegoated for every societal ill. This hatred makes them feel “great”—better than patriots who love their flawed nation, better than those comfortable in their skin or faith.
Ironically, this mindset thrives in the very system they seek to dismantle. America grants them the freedom to protest, speak, and assemble—rights they’d lose under the authoritarian regimes they sometimes romanticize. Yet, they demand censorship for dissenters: deplatform conservatives, silence “hate speech” (defined as disagreement), and cancel anyone who doesn’t toe the line. It’s narcissistic because it’s all about them—their feelings, their virtue—while ignoring the collateral damage. Communities fracture, families divide, and progress stalls. My liberal friends and I can debate because we value free speech; strip that away, and dialogue dies. I’ve lived this American dream: from military bases to soccer fields, surrounded by diversity that enriched rather than divided. My son embodies that—fluent in Spanish, friends from everywhere—proving integration works when we focus on shared humanity. But the white gaslight threatens it all, breeding resentment where there should be reconciliation. It’s time to turn off the dimmer switch and see clearly: racism against any group is wrong, history should unite not shame, and loving your country doesn’t make you a bigot—it makes you grateful.
We can honor the past’s pains without erasing its progress. Let’s pledge allegiance not to division, but to that indivisible nation with liberty for all. Only then can we heal.
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I didn't subject my sons to moving. They mostly grew up in Mira Mesa. Plenty of diversity in the community. My middle son is fluent in Spanish just from his association with friends in the neighborhood. Unlike my father spending months at sea with the Navy, I was frequently traveling for business around the US and Europe. My sons didn't experience having a move of the household until 2000 when we left from San Diego for our final location in Pocatello, ID.
Good write-up on your family experiences. Being in a military family brings a unique set of disruptions to family life.
Thanks. I looked all over for that image but the search engines are (oddly enough!) not helpful when looking for that sort of social double standard. So I typed up a few sentences to capture the essence. But the image is better!
Nice essay! My dad spent 24 yrs in the USAF & we lived in several states as well as England for 5 yrs. I was the middle child in an Irish-Catholic family of 3 kids & grew up mainly in the 50s, 60s & 70s, but otherwise much of what you wrote speaks for me too.
“This brings me to the heart of what I call “The White Gaslight”—a insidious form of societal manipulation where white people are systematically demeaned, labeled as inherently racist, and made to question their own reality,”
And the ones leading that charge are mostly white themselves - so called “allies” of other races. Self loathing whites, a strain similar to self loathing jews.
Every group is allowed to promote and defend their group’s interest except whites. And if you try you’re a racist! One of the most powerful and successful weapon the the left has unleashed on us.
But we are the ones that made that a powerful weapon by the way we react to it.
Until we stop cowering at the mere mention of the word and learn to accept the insult and return the favor and say “yes I’m a racist and so are you. So stick that up your a**?”
What would be your response if someone called you a racist for defending white’s interests?
Exactly.
Just look at Obeyme.
That’s absolutely right.
I always felt special going on base to the PX or the Commissary with my mom, the NCO Club, or the movie theatre. I remember when they took the flag down in the afternoons & everyone stopped in their tracks with their hand over their heart while the bugle played through the loudspeaker al over the base. It’s something many ppl have never experienced & I feel privileged to have known that life.
White gaslighting is very real.
It comes from winning, being successful. It's envy.
Since its founding the US has been a unique place.
We have freedoms and rights the rest of the world can only dream of.
It's why people are trying to break into this country.
We don't see people moving to Cuba, China or North Korea.
Respondent to the topic of white gaslighting, I managed to avoid it until this year. Over my career, I always had people recruiting me to solve difficult problems. I always performed and was rewarded with the next engagement. This year was different. My contingent of internal recruiters has aged out. At 68, I was facing a company that was downsizing due to government spending cuts. I had opportunities, but they required moving to northern VA to work on TS/SCI tasks behind spin dial doors. There were few telecommute, 100% remote openings and they weren't going to people in my salary band. HR is thoroughly infested with DEI and AI screening of applications seems to have white gaslighting baked into the logic. It was simply time to retire.
I naively felt the same way. Obama never wanted to be a uniter. His goal was always motivated by a desire to dismantle the America the founders gave us.
You and I share a similar upbringing, genealogy and many views.
The whole black / race thing is old, over used, cliche, and “stupid.”
Everyone can give examples of being picked on, EVERYONE.
Today in America you have special programs, benefits, entitlements to create equality where there is none. We have taken this idea of equality to mean outcomes, not the frame work of rules and opportunities.
I too am a father.
I have two children, a daughter and son.
Having served both in the military and for the FBI until retirement, I can without any doubt state that my daughter only has to meet the absolute bare minimum standards and she’s get a job with the FBI, if she just keeps her nose out of trouble a career in the military would be catapulted forward, while my son better exceed the requirements because the competition is far more fierce for him both in getting a position and with promotions.
We “discriminate” against white males and Asians in the name of equality and fairness.
That’s not how it’s supposed to be.
If it’s a private corporation, a private citizen giving his money away, he can do what he wants.
But we’re talking about federal money. Everyone’s money, American tax money.
The difference between an EARNED benefit and a free ENTITLEMENT has somehow been lost.
LOL
True
This is your story? Very good-I was a Navy Brat as well, Dad retired in 1973 as a Commander after 30 years.
Your analysis is spot on.
Awesome post!!! So true.
My Dad (Irish & German) met my Mom (Ukrainian) when he was in the Navy in 1954. After leaving active duty, he became an engineer which opened up new horizons for all of us. At 9, the six in our family traveled as far as San Antonio by car to visit my Grandma in the early 60’s. Although my Dad grew up in IL & TX, we had no idea there was prejudice except oduring that trip when my folks stop in a town down south for medicine for my baby brother, we were asked to leave when the saw our MA license (remember the Berrigan Brothers?).
At 12, we had a chance to go from MA to Kwajalein (Army Base) Marshall Islands, for Dad to work on the ABM program. Dad and Mom took the money from our flights to LA and instead drove the southern route to see that part of the US US. Dad always said we’d never be rich but we’d be educated.
Kwajalein had people from all over the world. We encountered many people with many customs and ways of life. We were also fortunate to meet and grow close to many Marshallese friends. Dad & Mom also took the family to Guam and Japan during that time. Two years later on our way back to MA, the family flew to Alaska and drove the northern route across the US making 50 states and 3 countries by the time I was 14.
That trip home was the first time I really saw prejudice against blacks, as one of the relatives wouldn’t allow us kids to watch Julia and The Mod Squad. We walked across the street and watched it on his daughter’s TV.
My first job after college in 1978, I was asked by my Egyptian supervisor why I (a woman) was taking a job from a man and his family! I answered that no one was feeding me but me. I eventually became an EMT and volunteered with the Rescue Squad in Boston. No matter what the circumstances, we always cared for each patient as best as we could. Color, language and race didn’t matter
I joined the AF in 1983. I was stationed in Japan for 2 years, Hawaii & Germany for a few months each, traveled through Asia and Europe, and then was stationed outside DC. I again met people from many races and ethnic groups and was blessed with many friends.
I decided dealing with racism is easy, you are either a jerk or not a jerk and jerkiness is colorblind.
God made us all unique and with different qualities. I have friends from all over the world I met from my jobs, traveling, and church. I alone can decide if I am going to do my best to make the world a better or worse place because I’m in it. I always ask God to continue to make it better by my service to every person I meet.
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