Posted on 10/18/2025 11:45:53 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of HHS Robert F. Kennedy Jr. ordered an airstrike on a cargo ship full of Tylenol attempting to reach the American coast.
Declassified video showed Predator drones striking the ship with multiple Hellfire missiles, sending the ship and its five tons of Tylenol to the bottom of the sea.
"Autism, defeated," announced Kennedy. "We received reports of a cargo ship carrying massive amounts of acetaminophen, commonly known as Tylenol, attempting to reach an American port. The organization involved, known as the American Red Cross, had planned to move the Tylenol to several distribution sites across the country. The U.S. Navy saw to it that these drugs never made it to the American Red Cross and onto our streets."
According to government sources, the strike will be followed by a ground assault on the Tylenol manufacturing plant in Pennsylvania. "We're going to put that model train industry out of business once and for all," said Kennedy, as tanks amassed for the attack. "No more people at baseball games filling in their little scorecards. Ah, it's going to a beautiful new world."
At publishing time, Kennedy had directed Seal Team Six to take down a food coloring manufacturing plant in Delaware.
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I hate the Babylon Bee. It has far outworn its cuteness. In the past year it has almost never been funny.
Here is a reminder of the Tylenol tapering deaths in the 1980s.
It’s not funny.
Just found a bottle of Tylenol on a shelf. Threw it out. No clue why I bought it. Everything works and nothing hurts. Had a cold about eight years ago.
Sometimes I wonder where the CEO of Babylon Bee, Seth Dillon, gets his funding.
Heh.
I’m surprised the MSM didn’t beat the BabylonBee to such a report.
The Bee can be funny, they just don’t like or trust RFK. Jr.
Oh screw off you jerk.
You probably crap on Santa Claus threads too.....Sheesh!
Thank you.
LOL!
I will assume you meant that in a nice way.
Have a nice day. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Note the retort I got from a poster I still admire. #10 below.
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