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British Authorities Arrest St. George For Brandishing Bladed Weapon At Dragon
X.com ^ | 12:59 PM · Aug 26, 2025 | The Babylon Bee✓ @TheBabylonBee

Posted on 08/26/2025 3:58:17 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum

https://babylonbee.com/news/british-authorities-arrest-st-george-for-brandishing-bladed-weapon-at-dragon

AMBLESIDE, ENGLAND — British authorities have arrested a man calling himself Saint George after he brandished a dangerous bladed weapon at a local dragon, which was merely minding its own business of terrorizing the local populace.

According to reports, the winged, fire-breathing dragon took up residence in Windermere, England's largest lake, and began terrorizing the inhabitants of the nearby town of Ambleside. The dragon poisoned the land and demanded first animal and then human sacrifices to appease its wrath. But when someone calling themselves Saint George took up an arming sword to threaten the foul beast, that is when authorities stepped in to end the dangerous rampage.

"Oi! You got a loicense for that there noyf, mate?" yelled a group of constables led by Police Constable Bobby Smith.

"But, there's a dragon!" replied the blade-wielding Christian knight.

"Now, now, everyone knows you need a license to acquire a butter knife here in the Lake District," PC Smith continued. "A special permit can be acquired at the Ambleside Police Station on Rydal Road. Until you can get your paperwork in order, you're going to have to come with us. AHHHHH — " said PC Smith as he was knocked over and dragged a bit by the evil dragon.

"There's a 30-foot tall dragon going around eating people!" yelled St. George as the contables regrouped.

"No, there isn't. And even if there were, you got to have the proper papers, mate."

"But, I'm Saint George!"

"Who?"

"Saint George! The patron saint of the English peoples and symbol of Christian virtue triumphing over evil. Slaying dragons and saving villages is sort of my job description. Didn't you learn about me in primary school?"

"No, and what you're saying may all very well be, but,,,

(Excerpt) Read more at x.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; neverdonate


1 posted on 08/26/2025 3:58:17 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Locked up with the people that love bacon ,LOL


2 posted on 08/26/2025 4:01:15 PM PDT by butlerweave (Fateh)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Word is they are hunting this girl down to arrest her.

Girls are being kidnapped and raped by Moslems by the dozens daily in England. Anybody who tries to stop it or even just talk about it is arrested. The gaslight press is completely silent.


3 posted on 08/26/2025 4:03:14 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Democrats are the Party of racism, anger, hate and violence.)
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To: All

Wait until they find out what Sir Winston Churchill had to say about the religion of peace.


4 posted on 08/26/2025 4:03:49 PM PDT by Peter ODonnell (Don't be fooled or surprised by the new form of color revolution as ideologues try to annex Canada)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

The ancient laws of England required every Englishman to stand at arms for the King to inspect them to see if the realm could fight off invaders.
Assize of Arms it was called.
Now the English have been disarmed in the face of a horrible moslem invasion.


5 posted on 08/26/2025 4:09:44 PM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar ( )
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

6 posted on 08/26/2025 4:15:49 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Democrats are the Party of racism, anger, hate and violence.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Monty Python’s Flying Circus couldn’t have done it any better.


7 posted on 08/26/2025 4:16:32 PM PDT by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty and supped with infamy. Benjamin Franklin)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

She should be booked up for speaking engagements and paid WELL for doing them.


8 posted on 08/26/2025 4:17:49 PM PDT by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty and supped with infamy. Benjamin Franklin)
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