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Metropolis Sues Superman For Reducing Crime
X.com ^ | Aug 18, 2025 | The Babylon Bee✓ @TheBabylonBee

Posted on 08/18/2025 1:35:57 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum

https://babylonbee.com/news/metropolis-sues-superman-for-reducing-crime

METROPOLIS — A new scandal threatened to arise between governing officials and Earth's greatest superhero, as Metropolis sued Superman for being far too effective in reducing crime in the city.

City leaders were outraged that the Last Son of Krytpon had the audacity to take it upon himself to stop criminals in the middle of committing their brazen acts of lawlessness and protect the innocent citizens who were put in harm's way.

"This is literal fascism. Restoring law, order, and safety will never be acceptable here," said Metropolis Mayor Bradford Sackett. "The criminal element is a long-revered part of the fabric of our city's culture and tradition, and we will not stand for someone from another planet coming here and making Metropolis safer for everyone. We have filed a lawsuit to hold Superman accountable for the harm he's doing by saving law-abiding citizens from harm."

While most citizens felt the lawsuit was an egregious example of lawfare, one prominent Metropolis resident voiced strong support for it. "It's about time Superman was treated like the public menace he is," said businessman Lex Luthor in an OpEd article for The Daily Planet. "Superman's crime-fighting disproportionately affects Metropolans of color. I've been trying to warn everyone for years, but now it seems like they're finally taking action. If there is any justice, this city will remain a safe place for criminals and miscreants to terrorize, rob, and murder with impunity."

At publishing time, the Democrat mayor of Gotham City had opened up his city to serve as a sanctuary for all Metropolis criminals seeking a place of refuge.

(Excerpt) Read more at x.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: districtofcolumbia; r

1 posted on 08/18/2025 1:35:57 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

I think the more apt comparison is Batman and Gotham. The superhero is often seen as a disruption of their way of life by the locales.


2 posted on 08/18/2025 1:43:31 PM PDT by paudio (MATH: 45<47)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

I don’t see how any self-respecting New Yorker can hate on a man who’s dressed in tights and bright colored boots like he just came out of a gay bar.


3 posted on 08/18/2025 1:44:55 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Making fun of the left… like shooting fish in a barrel. Almost too easy.


4 posted on 08/18/2025 1:53:13 PM PDT by sjmjax
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To: paudio

I agree...as I recall, too, quite a few Gotham City politicians are corrupt. In Batman’s mind, that doesn’t matter.


5 posted on 08/18/2025 2:27:21 PM PDT by scrabblehack
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
'Federal Judge Rules Superman Liable for Arctic Melting'

"His sonic booms drove my cat to suicide" declared Gladys Tessmacher. "And I'm certain his indiscriminate use of X-Rays has given me cancer".

6 posted on 08/18/2025 4:30:12 PM PDT by MikelTackNailer (We can be heroes... just for one day. Whatcha' say?)
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