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I’m 63, single, child-free – and my friends weren’t there for me when I needed them
www.msn.com ^ | August 6, 2025 | Kate Mulvey

Posted on 08/08/2025 3:24:01 PM PDT by Jonty30

Several weeks ago, I had a serious health scare. The emergency appointment and ultrasound were attended alone. I did a ring-around of my friends and sisters, but they were away or otherwise occupied. All I wanted was someone to hold my hand and give me a bit of moral support, but on a sweltering hot day, I sat alone in the hospital waiting room – a solitary figure among a sea of cosy couples, with only my Kindle for company as I bounced off the walls with anxiety. While the scare turned out to be just that, the stark realisation that my friends weren’t really there for me when it counted, and that I was utterly alone, was an unpleasant wake-up call. As a childless, unmarried woman of 63, it is difficult to admit how terrified I am of ending up alone and being eaten by cats. Read Next: I tried eight types of coffee bean – a supermarket brand was the clear winner Without the silent contract between parent and child, Someone we look after and who can take care of us, the loneliness wears more and more heavily on me. I find it devastating to imagine ending my days isolated or worse, going gaga and incontinent in a care home. Like many women, I had always expected to get married, have children and maybe even a house in the countryside. It never happened, but not by design – I left it too late. Looking back, in my twenties and thirties, I was about as ready for the chains of matrimony as I was for joining the Women’s Institute. I didn’t want my life mapped out for me.

(Excerpt) Read more at msn.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education; Health/Medicine; Society
KEYWORDS: alone; childless; eatenbycats; unmarried

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To: Jonty30

Hard to believe at 63 she never got impregnated
I will stop there


21 posted on 08/08/2025 3:36:08 PM PDT by George from New England (escaped CT back in 2006)
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To: Jonty30

More...she had two miscarriages when she was younger.

No husband.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/not-having-children-has-biggest-regret-now-anxious-future/


22 posted on 08/08/2025 3:36:09 PM PDT by cgbg (It was not us. It was them--all along.)
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To: George from New England

See post 22.


23 posted on 08/08/2025 3:37:17 PM PDT by cgbg (It was not us. It was them--all along.)
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To: Jonty30

Just because you have children doesn’t mean that they will be there for you.


24 posted on 08/08/2025 3:37:18 PM PDT by Chickensoup
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To: Jonty30

As a single person for most of my life without children, I thought of this often.
You adapt.
Stop whining!


25 posted on 08/08/2025 3:37:31 PM PDT by Zathras
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To: Jonty30

After I was divorced, I met my now husband at the age of fifty. We have been happily married for nearly 23 years. We both depended upon God to bring the right mate into our lives. It’s never too late!


26 posted on 08/08/2025 3:38:12 PM PDT by Flaming Conservative ((Pray without ceasing))
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To: Jonty30

Many people make themselves valuable in others’ lives throughout their lifetimes, whether or not they’ve married and had immediate families.

And from that perspective, the well-lived life is measured by how many others they were able to lift up, rather than a count of how many chits were successfully called in.


27 posted on 08/08/2025 3:38:17 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: BFW

Exactly—this is a classic feminist story—with a predictable beginning, middle and end.


28 posted on 08/08/2025 3:38:36 PM PDT by cgbg (It was not us. It was them--all along.)
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To: Hot Tabasco

My opening paragraph stated that it is unfortunate for those who don’t have a chose, but she chose the career path instead of the wife path. Almost every women will have a man in their life in the past that they could have marriage, but they chose not to.

She admits in the story that she waited too long, so there was somebody in the past that she wasn’t ready to marry.

The answer to the question, when a woman in her thirties asks, “Where are the good men?”

The answer is that “You left them in your twenties when you had options.”


29 posted on 08/08/2025 3:39:05 PM PDT by Jonty30 (If you put some water in your gas tank, with your gas, the gas will stay in the tank longer.)
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To: Jonty30
Many people that are married with children still have to face the end alone.

Eventually, one spouse dies, the children are away and can't be bothered.

30 posted on 08/08/2025 3:42:23 PM PDT by fso301
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To: Jonty30

She could have brought her cats.


31 posted on 08/08/2025 3:43:16 PM PDT by ETCM (“There is no security, no safety, in the appeasement of evil.” — Ronald Reagan)
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To: Deaf Smith

Crazy cat lady.


32 posted on 08/08/2025 3:44:12 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: all armed conservatives)
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To: Jonty30

Thanks to the Bank of Dad, a villa in Sicily is on the cards.


33 posted on 08/08/2025 3:46:04 PM PDT by nwrep
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To: Hot Tabasco

“”... distant friends ...””


Great term.


34 posted on 08/08/2025 3:46:24 PM PDT by leopud
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To: Hot Tabasco

Yep. Lots if judge people here. Not everyone has family or meets their sole mate in the allotted time. Women are not usually the choosers, they are the chosen and that can’t always be controlled.
The judge ones here use their “She chose poorly” as a narcissistic excuse to mot lend a hand to a friend, family member or neighbor. Who’s the real loser????


35 posted on 08/08/2025 3:47:28 PM PDT by vivenne (7Come to think of it. Fact)
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To: alternatives?

Maybe she did. Why are you assuming she didn’t?


36 posted on 08/08/2025 3:48:15 PM PDT by vivenne (7Come to think of it. Fact)
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To: Jonty30

I can actually relate to her on some level. I am a caretaker for my son who has terminal cancer. He won’t be around to bring me to medical appointments. My wife is battling two kinds of cancer and some other problems. She couldn’t take me anywhere now let alone a few years from now. Family that did live around here retired and moved away. I have done nothing but be a caregiver/nurse/chauffer for eight years so friendships I had fizzled. People help initially but then they fade out. When the going gets tough a lot of people will stay away because they don’t know what to do or say.
But at a funeral they will always come up to you and say....You know I am there for you if you ever need anything.......BOOOLSHITTTT

Yesterday we went on a short trip and stopped at a rest area in Minnesota. My wife got out of the car and got to the sidewalk and tripped and fell. A woman and her teenaged son WALKED AROUND HER to get to their car.

People suck. End of rant.


37 posted on 08/08/2025 3:49:38 PM PDT by shelterguy
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To: Jonty30; All

A few weeks ago me and Mr K (not the one on this forum) were joking around about getting eaten by cats after having a stroke or some other health emergency. I started the fun by saying “Don’t worry, darling! I’ll keep the cats out of the room until I’m sure you’re dead!”

I then added, “And you don’t need to worry ever about calling the ambulance for me!” and he politely chuckled and said, “I’ll come home and you’ll be lying blue-faced, gasping your last breaths on the kitchen floor, and I’ll just step over you!” and I was like “That’s the spirit!”


38 posted on 08/08/2025 3:49:59 PM PDT by Scarlett156 (Remember to pray. )
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To: vivenne

Judgey people here....


39 posted on 08/08/2025 3:50:35 PM PDT by vivenne (7Come to think of it. Fact)
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To: vivenne

She is stubborn, very opinionated and intolerant of those with different opinions, very independent and really likes much younger men.

How is this story supposed to end?


40 posted on 08/08/2025 3:51:27 PM PDT by cgbg (It was not us. It was them--all along.)
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