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Posted on 08/08/2025 3:24:01 PM PDT by Jonty30
Several weeks ago, I had a serious health scare. The emergency appointment and ultrasound were attended alone. I did a ring-around of my friends and sisters, but they were away or otherwise occupied. All I wanted was someone to hold my hand and give me a bit of moral support, but on a sweltering hot day, I sat alone in the hospital waiting room – a solitary figure among a sea of cosy couples, with only my Kindle for company as I bounced off the walls with anxiety. While the scare turned out to be just that, the stark realisation that my friends weren’t really there for me when it counted, and that I was utterly alone, was an unpleasant wake-up call. As a childless, unmarried woman of 63, it is difficult to admit how terrified I am of ending up alone and being eaten by cats. Read Next: I tried eight types of coffee bean – a supermarket brand was the clear winner Without the silent contract between parent and child, Someone we look after and who can take care of us, the loneliness wears more and more heavily on me. I find it devastating to imagine ending my days isolated or worse, going gaga and incontinent in a care home. Like many women, I had always expected to get married, have children and maybe even a house in the countryside. It never happened, but not by design – I left it too late. Looking back, in my twenties and thirties, I was about as ready for the chains of matrimony as I was for joining the Women’s Institute. I didn’t want my life mapped out for me.
(Excerpt) Read more at msn.com ...
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That's an excellent question. I went through the article and she never once mentioned anything she ever offered to do for anyone else.
Click the image to see the video.
-PJ
“The fruits of Feminism...”
Yep.
And then we become part of the garden.
My younger brothers wife suddenly passed away about 11 months later, and since I love my brother, I drove from Virginia to South Carolina to support him. When I got to the funeral home, the parking lot was practically empty except for some staff and my brother and I. All told there was a total of seven people at the funeral, mostly family and a couple friends. It was depressing.
You are right about how we weave our basket, but we need to remember to weave it. We never know when we, or those we leave behind, will need it.
I just turned 78. When I was in my 50's, 60's, and some of my 70's, I lived alone. My two sons lived away from me. Back then I figured if I died at home, by the time they found me, my two cats would have eaten my fingers off. Then I had to put both cats down and never replaced them. It's been 20 years now.
About 3 years ago my youngest son came back to live with me. He had been diagnosed with Stage 3 colon cancer in 2019, had 6 months of chemo treatments and is a cancer survivor. He and his wife split and he came back here from Indiana. Thankfully they have no children. It took quite a while for me to get used to having someone around the house, and share the one bathroom in my two bedroom apartment, but it's worked out. He was recently diagnosed with Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. He's being treated at a heart clinic that is a little over 2 hours away, so I take him when he has an appointment. At least if I get sick or die, he'll be here to take care of business. And if he needs to go to the hospital, he has me to take him. He had to have emergency surgery last fall for a hernia/bowel blockage, and a couple of months ago he was admitted for A-fib, and had to have his heart shocked, so I'm glad he was here so I could take care of him.
Both sons are on my life insurance policy, and both are co-owners of my bank account, so they can do what needs to be done once I'm gone.
When I see a story about some octogenarian or nonagenarian skydiving, I'm convinced he's hoping it's his last jump (and maybe his first as well).
There was a man in my town who lived to be near a hundred years old. He had outlived all the family members in his generation, all the family in his children's generation and many of the family in his grandchildren's generation. He lived with his grandnieces. He was surprisingly alert and fit for someone his age.
“The chains of matrimony” - As opposed to a loving soul mate with whom you navigate life as a team.
I think you nailed the big issue.
There is no “I” in team.
She was unable or unwilling to be a team player.
Probably want to be in a situation where you can have some type of regular wellfare check.
Sort of bad for a person to die and have housepets get hungry and start scavenging the body.
I had a next-door neighbor who was a real pistol. She was so outgoing. At 84 years old she could drink us, in our twenties, under the table. She had a lead foot and could have been a professional race car driver if they'd let her. I was surprised at how many of her circle had called her to drive them to the hospital for various situations.
She had a quite a group of friends and we were all sad when she moved to take care of her sister who wanted to stay near the grandkids instead of relocating.
There is also a "M E" in team.
“Ain’t no we, either.”
probably lie dead in our homes for several months
And yet, being dead, how would you know, and why would it matter?
Get right with God, just saying.
Not trying to be harsh; better to be without a child if never married...as a variety of reasons exist to stay single. However, when one frames it as “child-free,” it makes it sound like a child is a somewhat of an enslaved burden. (IoW, there are better ways of saying one is childless). For those who intentionally seek life-long singleness, unfortunately consequences develop in the later years. I would urge you to seek out deeper friendships in an evangelical church.
Exactly.
Oh, but she said she didn’t want “the chains of matrimony.” Says a lot....
😄
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