Then there is this
Posted on 06/22/2025 2:02:49 AM PDT by Cronos
We have moved into an era where many men no longer seek women to impress other men or to connect across difference. They perform elsewhere. Alone. They’ve filtered us out.
I recently experienced a flicker of possibility. With James. We met on Raya, the dating app. There was something mutual from the start — wordplay, emotional precision, a tone that felt attuned. It was brief, but it caught light. I remember saying to him, “Even fleeting connections matter, when they’re mutual and lit from the inside.” I meant it.
There was just enough spark to wonder what might unfold. Enough curiosity to imagine a doorway. But he didn’t step through it. Not with a plan. Not with presence. He hovered — flirting, retreating, offering warmth but no direction.
Sexual tension and a spark aren’t reason enough to sit still and hope there’s substance behind the shimmer. So I named what I felt. I texted him clearly, with care, not simply to declare attraction but to extend a real invitation to explore what was possible. I didn’t chase. I invited, leaving the door open. If he ever wanted to cross the threshold — not just to take, but to meet — I was willing. I wanted. I still do.
He never replied. He still follows my Instagram stories — one of those small gestures of passive engagement that so many of us now mistake for closeness. It looks like interest. It feels like silence.
There are thousands of Jameses. I have known dozens. The arc varies, but the undertow is familiar.
...here’s what’s real: We never needed you to be perfect. We needed you to be with us. Not above. Not muted. Not masked. Just with.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
This it funny. I drove myself crazy chasing females. I was a walking hardon. Then again none tried to sue me for maleness or having a bulge in my shorts. This was back in the 60’s/ 70’s. I’ve been married for 53 years. The girl has always had a house, money, and kids (2) to care for. It didn’t seem that hard. Guess my mom and dad raised me right. I wonder if there’s a connection to my happiness and that?
BTTT
I am sure conservative women that take care of themselves with pride in their appearances ,have loyalty, affection and compassion don’t worry about where the real mean are they are quietly sleeping next to one right now with a dog or two between them both sleeping the sleep of the righteous.
Porn is not the issue. Woke mind virus is the issue.
Go out in the woods and find a bear.
Men use porn to substitute for the love they need. Almost all men, who use porn, do so because they aren’t feeling loved by women.
Women have made it clear in the dating world that only the top 20% of men can expect love. The rest are told they have to do without. They do without, until they are in their thirties when women are willing to return, because they’ve come back down to earth. However, most men feel gypped in life on that point when they are finally able to interact with women again.
That is why men are staying away. They perceive an unfair deal by the time they are in their thirties.
It is not only not appealing for all the above reasons, but he's also got to worry that she will marry him to get the child or two she wants and then will divorce him (since she didn't really want him in the first place) and financially cripple him with alimony and child support for the next 20 years. He will at best get visitation with his kid(s).
Feminazis and the Courts have made the deal so lousy for men that they are opting out. Most men are not seeking a subservient woman who will stay barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen - the accusation feminazis will immediately leap to - but getting at least some of what they want and not getting completely raked over the coals if it doesn't work is not too much to expect. Its the minimum that men are going to have to get, or they're simply going to say no deal.
Porn doesn’t try to take half of everything you own. For that much neither does any number of things men have chosen to spend their time on rather than chase women. Men have given up on women because the risks outweighed the benefits. Forget about rejection, men were afraid of losing their jobs, their money and even their freedom for dating the wrong woman. Under those circumstances it’s no wonder men said “f*** it, I’m out” and living their lives their own way. This is certainly having an effect on stable 2 parent households. And there is certainly blame to go around. But a lot of it must be laid at the feet of feminists who have told women they can “have it all” for the last 50 years while demonizing anything to do with men. NOBODY can have it all. Not women, not men. Nobody can. It’s an irrational and unobtainable goal. Porn isn’t the disease. It’s just a symptom.
CC
‘Body Count’ and ‘Me Too’ probably have a lot to do with men being cautious.
I am hoping the author reaches the conclusion that toxic femininity shares blame in the relationship quandry. I don't need to be fixed, just accepted for my differences.
Just do a search in the duckduckgo and the article will show up in other places.
Oh ok. Thanks. Weird I never knew that after all this time. Learn something new every day. :)
Or going elsewhere.
https://archive.is/ will get most things.
That was easy. Thanks again. One problem right off the bat for the author. Date dude is named Troy. Lol
What you said!
Hate to say it, but ... I bet if I met the female author of this article (as a younger single man) I doubt I would find her to be someone who might be a candidate as my soulmate.
Why do I say this? She writes for the NYT. Easy stereotype to form in my head. Not the kindest thing to do, I know. But stereotypes are often deserved based on experiences in life.
Now, let’s suppose she was on the FoxNews, Daily Signal, TownHall or other respectable conservative sites. My stereotype I formed in my head would be different.
Liberal women, Progressives actually, trend towards ugly on the inside, self-centered, mysogenists even if they are outwardly attractive.
All that said, I’ve been married over 47 years to a woman who is devoted to me, respects and loves me, and that is MUTUAL.
A big difference perhaps is the role of God and faith in our lives.
Good grief. Yeah, that will attract a manly man. Hey Rachel, try something like: "I had my doubts that Rodgers would work out well with the Jets, and I am skeptical that he will be any better with the Steelers. What do you think?"
Or this: "Ya know, I think that 'great taste, less filling' commercial with the two women wrestling around was one of the funniest beer commercials ever. What's your favorite?"
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