Posted on 05/21/2025 2:56:18 PM PDT by DallasBiff

An Iranian man who says he can stick any object to his body has broken a spoon-balancing record for the third time.
Abolfazl Saber Mokhtari first claimed the record for most spoons balanced on the body in 2021 with 85 – smashing the record of 64 that came before him.
He then broke his own record in 2023 with 88 spoons, and returned again this January with his new total of 96.
(Excerpt) Read more at guinnessworldrecords.com ...
🎶If you have some time for me
Then I will sing a song for you🎵
Of ninety-nine sticky spoons
On their way to the horizon
🎵
Are you perhaps thinking of me right now?
Then I will sing a song for you
Of ninety-nine sticky spoons
And something that came of them
I knocked jackboots with Nena, we stuck spoons on each other
Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner!
Thanks to this spoon balancer, I feel better about how I spend my time.
CatHerd wrote: “Obviously vaxxed! Just ask that quack “Dr.” Sherri Tenpenny. Remember when? A prominent anti-vax doctor, who falsely claimed the COVID-19 vaccine could make people magnetic, had her medical license renewed, report says”
I predict that within six months some one will use this guy as proof the vaccines do make one magnetic.
96 tsp = 2 c, so there’s that.
🤪
Maybe just didn’t take a shower this week.
The Loving Spoonful?
What’s really going on inside the kitchen drawers!?
Who *hasn’t* discovered a spoon in the knife tray, or a fork in with the spoons?
Kissin’ cutlery... it’s all fun and games until somebody spends the night on the potato peeler.
‘I can stick any object to my skin’

"Sppppooons!"
Looks like they haven’t quite figured out how to make functional Chainmail Armor .
He needs to get out of the house more often
This highly-skilled performer was trained in a greasy-spoon diner. Bet against him, you’ll have to fork your money over.
Now we have a Clue. Col. Mustard, the butler and the candlestick were innocent. The dishwasher did it. He sang “96 Tears” in the pantry. Should have tried Ivory Liquid. Or Johnson’s Baby Shampoo. Wouldn’t have improved this pun but at least, no tears. And, he should have actually washed the greasy spoons. Perhaps someone greased his palm so a record could be achieved. Mack the Knife was unavailable for comment.
Not to be outdone, NENA sang about 99 Red Balloons—
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiwgOWo7mDc
And the grand prize went to
Tim Cavanagh—99 Dead Baboons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRpcEFJL1_8
LATE BLEAKING NEWS:
Note: the grand prize has been retracted, due to a song copyright infringement lawsuit by the Monkees.
The killer was Lucy in the Sky with a Silver Hammer.
Wouldn't he prefer you spoon it over?
Did she steal Maxwells hammer?
Go to a Wal-Mart on Friday night. Obese people on motorized scooters in the candy aisle fruitlessly reaching for their one sugary desire that is just out of reach. Or the women in pajamas and bunny slippers (all ages and all sizes). Hispanics with their bambinos clogging up the aisles. Wal-Martians doing their slow methodical zombie walk. The vacant looks of mental deficiency. Darwin missed the boat with these survivors.
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