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Posted on 05/19/2025 2:57:19 PM PDT by V_TWIN
https://babylonbee.com/news/a-day-that-will-live-in-infamy-donald-trump-declares-war-on-mexico-after-attack-on-brooklyn-bridge
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just days after a catastrophic incident involving a sailing vessel belonging to the Mexican navy, President Donald Trump held a press conference to declare war on Mexico for its flagrant attack on the Brooklyn Bridge.
A somber Trump met with the media to address the grave state of affairs and emphasize the historic significance of the sneak attack and the immediate impact it would have on the U.S. and the entire geopolitical landscape.
“Saturday was a day that will live in infamy. Or night. It happened at night, I’m told,” Trump said solemnly. “Our nation was struck by the full might of the Mexican navy. Our beautiful Brooklyn Bridge was hit suddenly and without any warning by a dastardly sneak attack. Never before have we faced an incident so catastrophic. Maybe once or twice before, but not many. Because of this brazen act of aggression, I am hereby declaring war on Mexico — or, as I like to call it, the soon-to-be 52nd state. Right after Canada.”
When asked if there was any room for diplomacy to ease tensions and avoid war, Trump was resolute. “They started it, and we’re going to finish it,” he said. “This type of attack can only be intentional and highly premeditated. Nobody accidentally runs a boat into a bridge. That would be ridiculous. Nobody is that stupid, even Mexico. They’ll never do it again, believe me.”
At publishing time, reports indicated that Mexico had already mobilized its 103rd Burrito Battalion to prepare for the coming retaliatory onslaught from the U.S. military.
‘103rd Burrito Battalion’
“You’re killin’ me, Smalls ! “
The Mexicans are Latinos. They were just doing the Limbo with bridge, and they couldn’t get down low enough to get under it.
Babylon Bee does not know that Congress (not the President) declares war?
This doesn’t matter, by tomorrow 99% of the left will believe it’s true because ....welll....Trump.
In response Trump declares that “Mexican Burritos” are now going to be called “American Burritos”.
Mexican traffic court judge orders Trump to surrender.
Finally!
Those greasy Mexicans thought they could just slide through the tight spots in their dastardly attack on Brooklyn.
President Trump will flatten their army like a tortilla, and slide it back under a gate in the Great Big Beautiful Wall!!
The Bee screws up again. They do jokes like this every so often to “prove” how they aren’t partisan.
The truth is that Trump is the kind of guy FAR more likely to send a jet to transport the injured back home, and call some shipyard to expedite and maybe even pay for a repair to those masts.
His kindness and generosity to those in adversity is legendary.
Here’s one for the simps at the Bee.
https://youtu.be/yzgxFhzzAbg?t=15
The Bee needs to be careful
There are people who would believe this headline and absolutely freak out over it.
Yes indeed!
The drug cartels, ragheads, Ruddian mob, and diseased migrant invaders that occupy Brooklyn are outraged...
It’s The Bee
This is pretty low brow. I would expect this from Howard (Air Florida ticket to the 14th street bridge) Stern.
Remember the Bridge!
I thought that was nice of the President to do that after the Mexicans hit my bridge.
I bought it with my retirement savings last week, right after falling off the turnip truck.
Relieved to see that it was The Bee! LOL.....
I did not see any description of who was piloting the ship and suspect that a U.S. harbor pilot was at the controls.
https://sandyhookpilots.com/Yachts.aspx
As of June 2020
All foreign flag yachts 150 feet in overall length and over, entering or departing the ports and waters of New York State, shall be required to take a state pilot.
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