Posted on 05/12/2025 12:50:54 PM PDT by V_TWIN
WASHINGTON, D.C. â The White House held a star-studded ceremony today to commemorate a historic occasion, as President Donald Trump accepted a generous gift of an Imperial-Class Star Destroyer from Emperor Palpatine.
Despite reservations voiced by some members of his administration, the president was eager to accept the gift, citing how much the U.S.'s relationship with the Galactic Empire has improved since he took office in January.
"It's a big, beautiful ship. Tremendous guy, that Palpatine, very smart," Trump told reporters as the imposing Star Destroyer came in for its landing. "You never saw the Emperor giving one of these beauties to Joe Biden, did you? We're making tremendous progress with the Empire, we really are. This ship will be the biggest any president has ever had, by a lot. I hear it's got a great set of ventral cannons, and if China doesn't want to play ball, they'll find out all about it."
In a holographic message from Coruscant, Emperor Palpatine told Trump he was more than welcome. "A small token of our admiration," the supreme galactic ruler said. "There are many who oppose us. Only together can we bring peace, prosperity, and security to this insignificant little system. I have foreseen that President Trump will have a memorable second term in which he will crush any rebellions that may arise."
At publishing time, relations between the Trump administration and the Galactic Empire had reportedly soured after the president announced the implementation of 140% tariffs on all spice imports from Kessel.
Gold!
Wow, that’s great. I’d bet it has a cloaking device so it becomes invisible.
It’s absolutely amazing how quickly the Bee writes satire. They are truly great!
Whatever they’re paying their writers, it’s not enough ð
The BEE makes me do a Happy Face...Too old to dance....
About time. Now he can get some things done. First on the list, fire one of those beams and take out Mark Hamill while he's sitting around at home dreaming of a better career. The Skywalker twins were an incestuous nightmare, and everyone knows it.
For twenty seconds, I thought that the US Navy was getting a destroyer.
Bwahahaha!!!
I hope Trump knows about the ISD’s main weakness: its shield generators. At least the Empire didn’t give him a Death Star. One hit in the right place and the whole thing blows up.
(and take out Mark Hamill)
We can only hope...ððĪĢðĪĢðĪŠðð
None of this would be a story if Boeing had delivered the replacement for Air Force One.
Boeing has become incompetent a once GREAT American company gone to crap!!
Trump would probably negotiate for a Super Star Destroyer. I mean, every backwater part of the galaxy has a standard ISD on patrol - gotta have the status bling upgrade.
The Empeor deserved to die for making a second one, with the same problem.
when is the reconstruction crew going in!?? I wanna piece of that action!!
Only commanders of the galactic fleet are gifted with the simngle glance.
I believe he is in negotiations with the Klingons right now.
USA will have exclusive rights to their cloaking technology.
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