(Thank you, usmcobra)
Posted on 05/09/2025 4:03:05 AM PDT by pookie18
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(Thank you, usmcobra)
Spam in a can - another five-star Friday. Have a GREAT weekend!
Thanks & the same to you, Libloather!
it must be hard for trump to remain so humble. have a great weekend pook. t
De nada, CopperTop!
Thanks & the same to you, t!
Have a great weekend Pookie18!
Happy FRiday and thanks pookie!
Thanks, Pookie! Have a great weekend!
Great stuff! Thanks much Pookster!
Thanks & the same to you, ro_dreaming!
TGIF & you’re welcome, PROCON!
My pleasure & the same to you, Cincinnatus.45-70!
You’re welcome, Coach!
Thanks for the week of laughs, Pookie!
My pleasure, Tell It Right!
The show ran 15 years from 1966 to 1981.
These great questions and answers are from the days when the “Hollywood Squares” game show responses were spontaneous and clever.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. What are ...”Do It,”...”I Can Help,”... and...”I Can’t Get Enough”?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps...One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh
Q. At the end of the movie “The Planet of the Apes,” what does Charlton Heston see that makes him realize that he is actually in New York City?
A. Paul Lynde: A Puerto Rican.
Q. In the Arctic, the most fearsome animal is the polar bear. What is the only thing a polar bear is afraid of?
A. Paul Lynde: A lonely Eskimo!
Q. True or false. Experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.
A. George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of them.
Q. In a survey of teenage mothers, most of them said they were listening to this when they got pregnant. What is it?
A. Paul Lynde: A pack of lies.
Q. According to Amy Vanderbilt, what is the maximum length of time you and your fiancé should be engaged?
A. Rose Marie: Engaged in what?
Q. What do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
A. Charley Weaver: A divorcee.
Q. According to police, if you are being molested, other than yelling, “Help!,” what is the best thing to scream?
A. Rose Marie: “More!”
Q. You’re a 71-year-old man who has lost interest in sex. Does your doctor have anything to help you?
A. Charley Weaver: “No, but his nurse does.”
Q. Peter Marshall: It’s well known that small amounts of female hormones are found in the male body. Are male hormones ever found in the female body?
A. Paul Lynde: Occasionally.
Q. Peter Marshall: Paul, the Rio Grande River separates Texas and Mexico. What does “Rio Grande” mean in Spanish?
A. Paul Lynde: El Washing Machine.
Q. Peter Marshall: Eva Gabor says she dislikes a particular word because it signals the end of something that started out so beautifully. What word?
A. Paul Lynde: Pregnant.
Q. Peter Marshall: At a recent hearing in New Jersey, opponents of fluorinated water argue that too much fluorine in a person’s system can cause an uncontrollable desire for sex?
A. Paul Lynde (shouting): HEY CULLIGAN MAN!
Q. Peter Marshall: Nathan Hale, one of the heroes of the American Revolution, was hung. Why?
A. Paul Lynde: Heredity!
Thanks, Mark...some good ones!
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