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Kristi Noem Attends Kentucky Derby To See If Any Horses Need To Be Put Down
Babylon Bee ^ | 5-3-25 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 05/03/2025 2:22:14 PM PDT by dynachrome

The annual spectacle and revelry of the world's most famous horse race was interrupted by an awkward moment as Kristi Noem attended the Kentucky Derby to see if any horses needed to be put down.

The South Dakota governor arrived at Churchill Downs decked out in the traditional spectator garb, complete with a festive hat and brandishing a shotgun with which she offered to put any unwanted horses out of their misery.

"Hey, guys! I'm ready to shoot some animals if anyone needs me to! Anyone? Anyone have a bad horse they need me to take care of?" Noem shouted excitedly as she strolled along the lower concourse with her 12-gauge locked and loaded. "I mean it. I'm here to do the hard things. If anybody has a horse they don't want, just say the word. I can take care of that for you. Permanently. I'm dishing out heaping portions of lead salad here, folks. Tell me when."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: aocbeware; babylonbee; derby; horsey; noem; satire
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LOL!
1 posted on 05/03/2025 2:22:14 PM PDT by dynachrome
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To: dynachrome

She should go on The View


2 posted on 05/03/2025 2:23:47 PM PDT by bigbob (Yes. We ARE going back!)
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To: dynachrome

Hope she hangs onto her purse this time.


3 posted on 05/03/2025 2:25:16 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: dynachrome

Hey, she did what probably a lot of people do but never admit it.

If an animal is incapable of being rehabilitated, sometimes there’s nothing else to do.


4 posted on 05/03/2025 2:27:09 PM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesu)
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To: dynachrome

“she offered to put any unwanted horses out of their misery”

LMFAO

If folks don’t get the JOKE, y’all really need to get out more. And for those of tender years, yeah , it’s a phookin JOKE.


5 posted on 05/03/2025 2:28:44 PM PDT by Macoozie (Roll MAGA, roll!)
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Comment #6 Removed by Moderator

To: Macoozie

“...don’t get the JOKE...”

It’s better than just a joke, M.

It’s that thing your communist Aunt Peggy can’t quite grasp...

Satire.

A.K.A. (as El Rushbo used to say): Illustrating absurdity by being absurd.


7 posted on 05/03/2025 2:44:13 PM PDT by one guy in new jersey
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Got this Mountain Feist. Crazy ass dog. One of the best hunting dogs I have ever had. Look in her eyes....empty.

Animals see in black and white.

We have dominion over animals. Truth.

They don’t have souls.

Animalsare just animals.

I’m gonna get slammed, but animals are just animals. I don’t care if it’s your teacup poodle or a grizzly bear. They don’t have souls like us.

They can love, but they can also rip your throats out.

Don’t buy into the crap.

Spent too many years in the woods hunting .
Spent too many years raising animals.


8 posted on 05/03/2025 2:44:56 PM PDT by waterhill (Nobody cares, work harder!)
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To: dynachrome

So effing true! Sorry but I cannot stand the sight of her.


9 posted on 05/03/2025 2:55:19 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: dynachrome
I don't care who's side you are on, this is hilarious!

Anytime certain rodeo companies were near me they'd call to make sure I was available in case livestock were injured. A vet would have to make a decision on the spot. I did this out of sight of the audience. Captive bolt for the cows and bulls so one could butcher them and eat them after injury and before fever, and sodium pentobarbital mixture for the horses. I got free tickets to the rodeos because most of the vets in the area didn't do large animals and were gone on weekends. I found it interesting that on "All Creatures Great and Small" they showed a segment where the vet had to use a captive bolt to put a horse down.

10 posted on 05/03/2025 2:56:12 PM PDT by vetvetdoug
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To: dynachrome

“I’m dishing out heaping portions of lead salad here, folks” lmao!


11 posted on 05/03/2025 3:01:20 PM PDT by albie (U)
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To: dynachrome

🤣🤣


12 posted on 05/03/2025 3:03:23 PM PDT by Smellin Salt (AT A POLITICAL )
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To: vetvetdoug

Brother and I raised cow /calf. Ate all we could and sold the rest for consumers.

We also hunted deer and wild pigs.

Animals are animals.

People have been Disney-fied.

Animals are ours to keep and kill.

They have no soul.

A


13 posted on 05/03/2025 3:06:46 PM PDT by waterhill (Nobody cares, work harder!)
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To: dynachrome

Somewhat amusing but the Bee seems a little off their game today with this and the Chipotle one.


14 posted on 05/03/2025 3:07:59 PM PDT by FreedomForce
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To: dynachrome

Donkeys count?


15 posted on 05/03/2025 3:40:20 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet (Trump has arrived and it is awesome to have a real President.)
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To: bigbob

Yes, there are several cows on the view with foot-in-mouth that should be put down.


16 posted on 05/03/2025 4:35:26 PM PDT by TonyM (Score Event)
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To: FreedomForce

That one was from last year.


17 posted on 05/03/2025 4:48:36 PM PDT by odawg
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To: dynachrome

This is one of those awkward, uncomfortable Babylon Bee pieces.

They need to figure out a way to avoid releasing complete flops.


18 posted on 05/03/2025 5:22:31 PM PDT by reasonisfaith (What are the personal implications if the Resurrection of Christ is a true event in history?)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

Highly irrational comment.


19 posted on 05/03/2025 5:24:25 PM PDT by reasonisfaith (What are the personal implications if the Resurrection of Christ is a true event in history?)
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To: All

I’m starting to think Babylon Bee is about 20% funny and maybe 80% awkward.

The sad thing when a comedy group produces awkward material is that many among its audience forces themselves to laugh from obligation, and they don’t even realize it.


20 posted on 05/03/2025 5:27:14 PM PDT by reasonisfaith (What are the personal implications if the Resurrection of Christ is a true event in history?)
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