Posted on 03/27/2025 6:35:09 AM PDT by V_TWIN
U.S. — State Farm has begun offering optional extra car insurance coverage for protection against customers' cars being torched by psychotic weirdos with purple hair.
In addition to having the flexibility to add protection against hail, flooding, and tornadoes, State Farm customers will now be able to also insure against damage from liberal nutjobs hurling Molotov cocktails at their vehicles.
"Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there -- to protect you from mentally unstable purple-haired freaks," said Jake, spokesman for State Farm. "Rest easy knowing State Farm will cover your car being spraypainted, dinged with motorized scooters, or set on fire. You can also score amazing discounts when you bundle protection from theft, collision, and deranged androgynous wackos. Come talk to an agent today!"
State Farm decided to begin offering the coverage option after claims for damage due to left-wing loons began to exceed that from road collisions. "It's really a great investment, depending on the vehicle," explained agent Tom Reese. "If you live in a small town, or if you drive a Subaru, we don't recommend it. You're clear. Anyone else, you should really consider adding State Farm's exclusive 'purple weirdo' protection package."
At publishing time, State Farm had announced a discount on the protection plan for anyone who had the updated Tesla "Battle Robot" package.
This should be a real product.
LPR (Libtard Protective Rider) you can add onto your normal coverage.
LOL! Animal Farm. These whackos should be in cages.
IMHO a story about Tesla developing an optional ‘liberal terrorist deterrent system’ would be more amusing.
A companion video about the range of possibilities would be HILARIOUS!
Babylon bee showed their true colors. They are in favour of breeding out all the whites for one color of brown except for Jews. They are evil.
You’re gonna pay big bucks for that - and if you file a claim, your insurance will skyrocket.
Ask the folks in California how Sate Farm treated them.
I assume you missed the source? 😏
So much of what Babylon Bee prints now - seemingly absurd, but isn’t - is close to the truth.
Things are so crazy now nothing surprises me.
State Farm has low priced insurance, but will fight you if you ever have a claim.
Many insurance policies have “Domestic Terrorism” exclusions to coverage.
State Farm has low priced insurance, but will fight you if you ever have a claim.
People don’t understand risk management.
My personal philosophy is that you never want to collect on insurance. It means you have a loss,especially life insurance.
That’ll make one hoot of a commercial!
Trump prosecuting these perps under Terrorism Laws might burn the vehicle owner.
Terrorism Coverage: The Basics
Terrorism coverage is typically available as an add-on or endorsement to commercial insurance policies. For personal insurance policies, however, coverage for damages caused by acts of terrorism is often excluded or limited. Here are the key points to consider:
Commercial Property and General Liability Insurance: Many commercial insurance policies exclude terrorism-related damages unless a specific Terrorism Risk Insurance Act (TRIA) endorsement is added. This endorsement offers coverage for damages caused by certified acts of terrorism as defined by federal law.
Personal Auto Policies: Most personal auto insurance policies exclude coverage for damages caused by acts of terrorism. This exclusion is especially significant for vehicle owners who rent out their cars on platforms like Turo, as these platforms often offer limited liability coverage but may not address acts of terrorism.
I purchase insurance as a stop loss with high deductibles. very seldom have I ever used it, but I expect to get what I pay for and not need to fight for it with an attorney.
I have been an expert witness in multi million dollar court cases where insurance companies refused to pay the claims. They allowed me to stand up with an easel and teach the jury what the insurance companies were doing. My clients won big plus damages.
I purchase insurance as a stop loss with high deductibles. very seldom have I ever used it, but I expect to get what I pay for and not need to fight for it with an attorney.
I have been an expert witness in multi million dollar court cases where insurance companies refused to pay the claims. They allowed me to stand up with an easel and teach the jury what the insurance companies were doing. My clients won big plus damages.
I hold on the idea that people don’t understand risk managment.
I love the Bee! 😂
Do you use State Farm?
I’ve never had any problem, except with State Farm.
The same th8ng is very true with Medicare Advantage plans.
I’ve won 7 appeals of coverage denial with them.
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