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Russia Says It Will Agree To Ceasefire As Soon As It’s Done Conquering Ukraine
The Babylon Bee ^ | March 14, 2025 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 03/15/2025 12:12:26 PM PDT by Dr. Franklin

MOSCOW — In an encouraging development for the seemingly deadlocked negotiations, Russia now says that it would agree to a ceasefire as soon as it is done conquering the rest of Ukraine.

Experts had been skeptical regarding the prospects of any lasting peace agreement after previous discussions had proven unsuccessful, but said Russia's commitment to ending hostilities as soon as it finishes defeating Ukraine was promising.

"We are ready for a ceasefire on only one condition," said Vladimir Putin. "And that little teeny tiny condition is that we finish conquering the rest of Ukraine. Then once that is done, I think we can have a good, lasting ceasefire."

Reports that Russian leaders were amenable to a ceasefire came after three years of grueling combat during which the front lines became static, devolving into a war of attrition with high casualties on both sides. "We are certainly willing to discuss bringing this conflict to an end," Putin said. "After we win."

It was reportedly during intense talks with President Donald Trump's special envoy, Steve Witkoff, that the Russians began to see a path forward. "We can envision reaching a peaceful resolution as soon as we annihilate them," one Russian official was quoted as saying.

At publishing time, there were new reports that Russia was massing all of its tanks and infantry in the Kursk region, further signaling that it was willing to do whatever was necessary to reach a ceasefire.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Military/Veterans; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
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The Bee tells it straight without the B.S.
1 posted on 03/15/2025 12:12:26 PM PDT by Dr. Franklin
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To: Dr. Franklin

But first, they need to perform an Anschluss on Belarus.


2 posted on 03/15/2025 12:13:52 PM PDT by rfp1234 (E Porcibus Unum)
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To: Dr. Franklin
The Bee is excellent at printing, very accurately, Tomorrow's News Today.

Read it and weep.

3 posted on 03/15/2025 12:20:03 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (President Trump Decisively Won Popular & E.C., Celebrate Recivilization!)
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To: Navy Patriot

When did you serve in the Russian navy?


4 posted on 03/15/2025 12:27:00 PM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it." )
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To: Dr. Franklin

Have You stopped Buggering Children with Zelensky?


5 posted on 03/15/2025 12:31:24 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (President Trump Decisively Won Popular & E.C., Celebrate Recivilization!)
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To: Navy Patriot

Is this how Putin’s troll farms teach you to persuade Americans that your Russian propaganda is somehow true?


6 posted on 03/15/2025 1:08:50 PM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it." )
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To: Dr. Franklin
How many more USAID paychecks do you think you will receive?
7 posted on 03/15/2025 1:14:09 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Democrats do not object to government corruption as long as they get a cut of the loot.)
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To: Dr. Franklin

The Truth .
But Donnie promises to be really super mean to the KGB Butcher .
What a train-wreck Trump set up .


8 posted on 03/15/2025 2:16:41 PM PDT by ncalburt ( Gop DC Globalists are the evil )
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To: Dr. Franklin

EU-Brussels neo-marxist globohomo needs to be defeated everywhere, not just in Ukraine


9 posted on 03/15/2025 2:28:42 PM PDT by PGR88
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
How many more USAID paychecks do you think you will receive?

How long has it been since you stopped beating your wife?
10 posted on 03/15/2025 4:58:44 PM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it." )
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To: Dr. Franklin

It appears that I hit a nerve. How much are you being paid? Or, rather, were being paid?


11 posted on 03/15/2025 7:18:27 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Democrats do not object to government corruption as long as they get a cut of the loot.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
It appears that I hit a nerve.

Like you hit your wife or girlfriend?
12 posted on 03/15/2025 7:42:08 PM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it." )
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To: Dr. Franklin

Yep. No doubt about it. You’re a paid human ‘bot.


13 posted on 03/15/2025 7:48:26 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Democrats do not object to government corruption as long as they get a cut of the loot.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

You are just a troll.


14 posted on 03/15/2025 7:54:10 PM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it." )
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To: Dr. Franklin

Your razor sharp wit is astounding.


15 posted on 03/15/2025 7:58:03 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Democrats do not object to government corruption as long as they get a cut of the loot.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

I refuse to get into a battle of wits with an unarmed man. It just wouldn’t be sporting of me.


16 posted on 03/15/2025 8:00:43 PM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it." )
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To: Dr. Franklin

It sounds hyperbolic but it’s really not far from the truth.

Putin’s still insisting on maximalist terms including NATO effectively pulling all defensive alliance support from three NATO members. But there’s no mechanism to deliver that. The USA can’t change the NATO charter unilaterally. It’d be easier for the USA and Hungary to both quit NATO, than try to demote Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania while 25 other countries in the alliance have vetoes.

And that means Putin’s demands around disenfranchisement of the Baltics are for the birds - they’re utterly impossible as preconditions for a temporary ceasefire.

RF hasn’t even managed to put a single pair of boots in the northern half of Zaporizhzhia oblast, but still wants Ukraine to sign it over (in return for a ceasefire without guarantees).

Again - Putin wants all his war aims delivered as a precondition for even a temporary ceasefire... While offering no concessions (!)

So the Bee is exaggerating... But not in a big way.


17 posted on 03/16/2025 7:04:00 AM PDT by MalPearce ("You see, but you do not observe" - Holmes to Watson, A Scandal in Bohemia)
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To: MalPearce
It sounds hyperbolic but it’s really not far from the truth.

the Bee's reporting is accurate but not completely factual. That is preferable to reporting that is factual but not accurate do to bias.
18 posted on 03/16/2025 7:27:11 AM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it." )
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To: Dr. Franklin

*due to...


19 posted on 03/16/2025 7:27:33 AM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it." )
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To: Dr. Franklin
Moral, Ethical Americans are already convinced that Zeepers are Evil, Antiamerican, Anti Christian Terrorists.

This is how Americans inform Degenerate Zeepers that they know what you Zeepers are doing.

20 posted on 03/16/2025 9:18:13 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (President Trump Decisively Won Popular & E.C., Celebrate Recivilization!)
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