A man died and went to Heaven. St Peter says to him, “Before you meet with God, I should tell you, we’ve looked over your life, and honestly, you didn’t do anything particularly good or bad.

“Before you meet with God, I should tell you, we’ve looked over your life, and honestly, you didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us decide?”

“Yeah, once while out driving, I came upon a little old lady being harassed by a group of thugs. I pulled over and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced his lip. I tore the ring out of his lip and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this lady, or they would have to deal with me!”

deny the Church Suffering (purgatory)

No, i not believe in RC (not EO) Purgatory as necessary to make one good enough to actually enter Heaven, contrary to RCs as these:

The Catholic Encyclopedia states that St. Augustine "describes two conditions of men; "some there are who have departed this life, not so bad as to be deemed unworthy of mercy, nor so good as to be entitled to immediate happiness" etc. (City of God XXI.24.)

And thus by the close of the fourth century was taught "a place of purgation..from which when purified they "were admitted unto the Holy Mount of the Lord". For " they were "not so good as to be entitled to eternal happiness".

One "cannot approach God till the purging fire shall have cleansed the stains with which his soul was infested." -Catholic Encyclopedia>Purgatory.

"Every trace of attachment to evil must be eliminated, every imperfection of the soul corrected." - John Paul II, Audiences, 1999.

"The purpose of purgatory is to bring you up the level of spiritual excellence needed to experience the full-force presence of God." ( Jimmy Akin, How to Explain Purgatory to Protestants).

Likewise Catholic professor Peter Kreeft states, "...we will go to Purgatory first, and then to Heaven after we are purged of all selfishness and bad habits and character faults." Peter Kreeft, Because God Is Real: Sixteen Questions, One Answer, p. 224

Catholicism is an admixture of (mostly) unregenerate souls who can only imagine their water baptism as infants (usually) who cannot fulfill the stated requirement for baptism of penitent whole-hearted faith (Acts 2:28; 8:36,37) has made them regenerate, and thus good enough to be with God (thru baptismal "infused charity"). Yet since the unholy sinful nature is all too alive, then since it soon manifests itself then (unless the die having obtained freedom from any attachment to sin) and atoned for all their post-baptismal sins, then in RC teaching they must face "purifying punishments in RC (nor EO) Purgatory until they accomplish the needed atone for sins and become good enough in character to actually enter Heaven to be with God/Christ.

In contrast, this premise would also exclude the contrite criminal of Luke 23:43 from being with Christ at death, yet who was told by the Lord that he would be with Christ in Paradise that day. And likewise imperfect Paul, (Philippians 3:13) who attested that to be absent from the body was to be present with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:7; cf. Philippians 1:23) And indeed it would exclude all believers who were told that they would be forever with the Lord if He returned in their lifetime (1 This. 4:17) though they were still undergoing growth in grace, as was Paul.

In contrast, wherever Scripture clearly speak of the next conscious reality for believers then it is with the Lord, (Lk. 23:43 [cf. 2Cor. 12:4; Rv. 2:7]; Phil 1:23; 2Cor. 5:8 [“we”]; 1Cor. 15:51ff'; 1Thess. 4:17)

And rather than Purgatory conforming souls to Christ to inherit the kingdom of God, the next transformative experience that is manifestly taught is that of being made like Christ in the resurrection. (1Jn. 3:2; Rm. 8:23; 1Co 15:53,54; 2Co. 2-4) At which time is the judgment seat of Christ And which is the only suffering after this life, which does not begin at death, but awaits the Lord's return, (1 Corinthians 4:5; 2 Timothy. 4:1,8; Revelation 11:18; Matthew 25:31-46; 1 Peter 1:7; 5:4) and is the suffering of the loss of rewards (and the Lord's displeasure!) due to the manner of material one built the church with. But which one is saved despite the loss of such, not because of. (1 Corinthians 3:8ff)

Note also that the tradition-based Eastern Orthodox reject RC Purgatory, among some other substantial RC distinctives

In addition, the whole premise that suffering itself perfects a person is specious, since testing of character requires being able to choose btwn alternatives, and which this world provides. Thus it is only this world that Scripture peaks of here development of character, such as "Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations." (1 Peter 1:6) The Lord Jesus, in being "made perfect" (Hebrews 2:10) as regards experientially "in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin" (Hebrews 4:15) was subjected to this in the life.

Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.

Pardon me here while I insert some theology, The "keys to the kingdom" is faith in the true and living God Peter confessed, and thus His Divine Son, the Foundation of the true church, the body of Christ, by His Spirit, by which effectual penitent, heart-purifying, regenerating faith (Acts 10:43-47; Acts 15:7-9) which is imputed for righteousness, (Romans 4:5) the body of Christ has its members. (1 Cor. 12:13)

Back to the story:

St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in." "Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart." "That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!" "Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service." "Terrific!" says St. Peter. "That's certainly worth a point." "One point!?!!" "I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans." "Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says. "Two points!?!! "Exasperated, the man cries. "At this rate the only way I'll get into heaven is by the grace of God." "Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!"

We often try to fix problems with WD-40 and duct tape. God did it with a nail.

Yes and AMEN. See my post above as regards duct tape.

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