Posted on 11/30/2024 9:41:20 PM PST by Zhang Fei
A man died and went to Heaven. St Peter says to him,
“Before you meet with God, I should tell you, we’ve looked over your life, and honestly, you didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us decide?”
The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied,
“Yeah, once while out driving, I came upon a little old lady being harassed by a group of thugs. I pulled over and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced his lip. I tore the ring out of his lip and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this lady, or they would have to deal with me!”
“Wow, that’s impressive. “When did this happen?” asked St Peter.
“About three minutes ago,” came the reply.
Bongiorno and Buona Notte! I got up for a minute, read this funny joke and am going back to bed!!
Have a great day!
Hey I finally hit the joke! The thug killed him and the good deed hadn’t been reported to St Peter yet. Haha!
That’s pretty funny!
Although there are degree of iniquity as culpability, yet since all fall short, misusing and abusing things a benevolent God gave us, from our brain to our feet and abilities , and a world of beauty and vast resources in a universe (which man now worships) which testifies to God, then all have sinned. Nor can man become actually good enough to be with God in this life or via some suffering afterward.
Neither can man take any credit even any good that he does, since that is due to God's influence and enablement, (Phil 2:13) but man can and must take credit for the sins and evil that he has done, and can only be saved through God-given (Eph. 2:8,9) effectual penitent, heart-purifying, regenerating faith in the Divine Son of God and Lord of all, (Acts 10:43-47; 15:7-9) who saves sinners on His account, as this faith is imputed for righteousness, (Romans 4:5) and is shown in baptism and following the Lord, (Acts 2:38-47; Jn. 10:27, 28)
And those who die in that obedient faith will go to be forever with Him at death or His return (Phil 1:23; 2Cor. 5:8 [“we”]; Heb, 12:22,23; 1Cor. 15:51ff'; 1Thess. 4:17) In contrast to those who were never born of the Spirit or who terminally fall away. (Gal. 5:1-4; Heb. 3:12; 10:25-39)
Yet man's ultimate choice reveals what his response to God's grace is:
And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. (John 3:19-21)
“there is no such thing as the purported “good person/bad person” distinction when it comes to the salvation “
Yeah not biblically accurate but light humor.
Lol bongiorno right back at ya! Hope you’re well!
That’s a good one, LOL!
Sometimes a joke makes a more thoughtful point than intended.
Good point sometimes the memory needs a nudge for a wake up call.
deny the Church Suffering (purgatory)
I never done good things.
I never done bad things.
I never did anything out of the blue.
Whoa-oow whoa-oow.
Yeah, well, if St. Peter of the Keys can’t find the receipts for the one good thing ya done what kilt ya, that won’t end up being too funny!
*The Brothers Karamazov: Part 3, Book 7, Chapters 3 and 4
Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."
"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"
"Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."
"Terrific!" says St. Peter. "That's certainly worth a point."
"One point!?!!" "I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.
"Two points!?!! "Exasperated, the man cries.
"At this rate the only way I'll get into heaven is by the grace of God."
"Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!"
We often try to fix problems with WD-40 and duct tape. God did it with a nail.
Yes and AMEN.
“We often try to fix problems with WD-40 and duct tape. God did it with a nail.”
So, a king or lord is being ripped off by his servants
He sends his son
They nail him to a board
You all are OK with that
You side with the thieving
was the nail actually a stinger
Did you roar around Samson
A Syrian is lord of the vineyard?
And they corrupted the children, the crop?
Ere deception, they neither toiled nor spun
You do not really have the drop
(Thinking in public)
Flapping bees, flowers lack Immunol systems
Got to lodge amongst the graves
(Hey. They think that you are king material)
(Just as long as you keep to their ways)
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