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Entire Entrenched Government Bureaucracy To Be Dismantled By Indian Guy And Autistic African American Obsessed With Rockets
Babylon Bee ^ | Nov 15, 2024 | No attribution

Posted on 11/16/2024 8:37:24 AM PST by null and void

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Panicked sources within the nation's capital expressed fear that the entire governmental bureaucracy that had been methodically built up over the last century was about to be dismantled by an Indian guy and an autistic African American obsessed with rockets.

The vast federal mechanisms put in place to make even the simplest and most straightforward tasks take years to accomplish and cost billions of taxpayer dollars now faced elimination at the hands of what federal officials referred to as "two total outsiders with weird names."

"Who do these guys think they are?" one high-ranking official asked under the condition of anonymity. "We've been working hard to make government as bloated and inefficient as possible for decades, and this rocket guy and Indian are going to ruin everything."

When reached for comment, the autistic African American confirmed the reports. "I like rockets," he said.

According to government insiders, every three-letter agency in the country had already given its employees orders to barricade themselves in their offices and not give in despite having little hope of resisting the coming purge for any length of time.

"You can bet we're going to put up a fight," the anonymous government official continued. "Granted, it will most likely be a very poorly organized and inefficient fight, using hundreds of employees to accomplish very little, but still."

At publishing time, sources confirmed that the Department of Homeland Security was being replaced by one hot chick with a shotgun.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; beeyourbest; chickenlittle; doomed; fedzilla; teotwawki
Excellent! Splendid! I cried until I laughed!
1 posted on 11/16/2024 8:37:24 AM PST by null and void
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To: null and void

I think the Dems never dreamed of Musk because of the EV cars. Musk said recently, the proposed $25,000 EV is off the table.


2 posted on 11/16/2024 9:21:06 AM PST by Sacajaweau
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To: null and void

The Bee headlines alone are worth the price of admission.


3 posted on 11/16/2024 9:36:04 AM PST by The_Harlequin (…the time will arrive when you will learn to judge for yourself of what is going on in the world, wi)
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To: null and void

Delicious.

I half expected a picture of Vivek wearing an American Indian headdress.

Perhaps an Indian tribe will donate one to him. That is a hint to any native American Freepers out there. Vivek on the warpath!

The autistic guy obsessed with rockets was very good. However, aren’t we really talking about missiles?


4 posted on 11/16/2024 10:05:34 AM PST by ChessExpert (The Democratic party must be destroyed.)
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To: ChessExpert
I half expected a picture of Vivek wearing an American Indian headdress.

Perhaps an Indian tribe will donate one to him. That is a hint to any native American Freepers out there.

That's reserved for Trump's Bureau of Indian Affairs pick:
Elizabeth Warren...

5 posted on 11/16/2024 10:21:04 AM PST by null and void ( Every political system is flawed, and all bureaucracies are corrupt. ~ chud)
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To: null and void

:)


6 posted on 11/16/2024 11:35:56 AM PST by ChessExpert (The Democratic party must be destroyed.)
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To: All

okay, or ...

An Indian guy and an autistic African American obsessed with rockets are soon to be dismantled by entire governmental bureaucracy

odds?


7 posted on 11/16/2024 12:28:27 PM PST by Peter ODonnell (A conspiracy theory is usually a fact that a leftist cannot endorse)
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To: Peter ODonnell

So Kim Jong Un is Little Rocket Man, and Elon Musk is Big Rocket Man.


8 posted on 11/16/2024 12:31:58 PM PST by MayflowerMadam (Not the whore in '24)
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To: null and void
"You can bet we're going to put up a fight," the anonymous government official continued. "Granted, it will most likely be a very poorly organized and inefficient fight, using hundreds of employees to accomplish very little, but still."

Yeah, this is about how I expect it to play out as well.

9 posted on 11/16/2024 1:06:49 PM PST by EnderWiggin1970
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To: MayflowerMadam

The main difference is, Elon knows where his rockets are going to land, little Rocket man, not so much.


10 posted on 11/16/2024 3:00:54 PM PST by Peter ODonnell (A conspiracy theory is usually a fact that a leftist cannot endorse)
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