Posted on 10/10/2024 8:24:28 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
WASHINGTON, D.C. — High-ranking officials in the Democrat Party are reportedly "extremely perplexed" to find that their candidate whom nobody ever voted for is currently slipping in the polls.
According to House Leader Hakeem Jeffries, Democrats find it completely inexplicable why their candidate, who was never legally nominated and did not receive one single primary vote, is struggling to connect with voters.
"It just doesn't make sense," Jeffries said in a late night campaigning struggle session with the Harris PR team. "We've done everything we can to get this woman into a position of popularity — sex podcasts, truck stop videos of her eating Doritos, and even putting up fake posters in Philadelphia saying that the Eagles support her. I just don't understand why she's not doing so well in the polls. I mean, she didn't get any votes from anybody, even at our convention, but surely that can't make too much of a difference! What's going on here?"
Harris responded to Democrat confusion.
"Polls are important for democracy," Harris said, stifling a cackle as reporters around her adjusted their military-grade noise-cancelling earmuffs. "Polls begin with p. So does "people." And periphrastic. Periphrastic. What a word! Periphrastic! And that's why people need to vote!"
At publishing time, Democrats were also baffled to find that Minnesotans whose businesses and homes had been wrecked in Walz's Minneapolis race riots strongly disliked Kamala's running mate.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
“Polls are important for democracy,” Harris said, stifling a cackle as reporters around her adjusted their military-grade noise-cancelling earmuffs. “Polls begin with p. So does “people.” And periphrastic. Periphrastic. What a word! Periphrastic! And that’s why people need to vote!”
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Left out was the repetitive head nodding and the expansive hand gestures.
Where clarity, truth and irony all meet, without the need of a Venn diagram.
It is baffling, isn’t it? Btw, just when is National Word Salad day?
It just doesn’t make sense. Democrats have done everything we can to make this woman popular:
<><>having her do explicit sex podcasts,
<><>billing her husband as the next Rock Hudson
<><>truck stop videos of her eating Doritos,
<><>having her bring joy to a morose citizenry
<><>getting Oprah to save her
<><>putting up fake posters showing Pa Eagles support her.
I just don’t understand why she’s not doing so well in the polls. What’s going on here?
She looked good in the orange pantsuit.
What a waste of a billion + dollars.
I think she single-handedly drove pant suits out of style.
I know a good ophthalmologist.
Kamala is illegitimate from the jump.
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