Posted on 08/27/2024 7:48:42 PM PDT by DoodleBob
Dear parent of a college student: please don't ever answer emails or other official school communication that is sent to your student's email address. I know you mean well. But when you answer his emails on his behalf you aren't "advocating" for your student. Rather, you are unintentionally infantilizing the student, preventing him from exercising adult responsibilities. If I were a potential employer interviewing a recent college graduate and I found out his mother monitored his emails and answered on his behalf, I would pass on him. Clearly, he isn't sufficiently independent for adult employment.
I want to be clear on this. I'm not saying you shouldn't reach out to a professor or office if there is a problem 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦. Sometimes, that happens. But don't hover over his emails. The best way you can advocate for your student is to advise him as he interacts with professors or offices on campus.
This post received over 470 likes and over 35 highly supportive comments from other academics, like “I teach at a university and I will NOT talk to a parent. Students are protected by FERPA. That means unless they specifically sign a waiver, I can’t even let a parent know if a student is taking my class. Even then, I would let the dean take care of it. I treat my students as adults and will not treat them as children, even if the parents still see them as such”.
I get the point. However…
…what’s missing from these exchanges, was ANY comment that MAYBE, parents are on the lookout for indoctrination, intimidation, harassment, or anything of this nature. The risk that Deplorable Mary or Johnny comes home for Thanksgiving their Freshman year as an androgynous pierced Antifa vegan voting for Harris and refusing to eat your cultural appropriation dinner is very real. Monitoring the nonsense professors and the college emails to your kid seems like a fair exercise of oversight.
Even more surprising is that Prof Finn’s articles and writing suggests he’d fit in nicely on FR.
I understand that 18 is the age of majority. I also understand that we’re not in Kansas anymore.
Your mileage may vary.
At our college we made sure that any protection from FERPA was waived, if the parent was paying part of the cost of education.
When I went to U of Chicago, my grades went to my parents and the bills were sent to me. I could never figure that out.
If you did your job well, you wouldn't worry about your kid getting indoctrinated.
Parents need to go to college with their children, to make sure they cut up all the food in their meals.
That’s because the colleges banned knives.
I voted for President Nixon when I was senior in high school. I didn't need to write an essay. /sigh
I always had an issue with the bills and financial stuff being sent to my daughters. If I am the one filling the forms out and paying then send the information to me. Forwarding information is not maturity, its just inefficient. By the time the kids and the ex got through with everything, I would spend 3 hours on the phone getting everything fixed back to the beginning so it could be done correctly.
Checking your emails is not a very high bar for maturity. But I agree, as a parent, you shouldn’t be meddling in your kid’s email.
He’s telling parents it is okay to contact professors on a student’s behalf.
Insane.
“you are unintentionally infantilizing the student,”
PARENTS are “Infantilizing”?
And colleges provide for students Play Doh, coloring books, Legos, bubbles, hot chocolate, cats, and puppies.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/elite-campuses-offer-students-coloring-books-puppies-to-get-over-trump
If the parent is looking out for “indoctrination, intimidation, harassment” in their college student then they’ve already failed.
The college kid needs to be treated like an adult.
College students should manage interactions with profs and admin, but my signature on the check that pays the bills means I have a right to be privy to what is going on.
Bingo
Parents that raise their kids to be dependant children get what they deserve. A grown adult living in their basement, forever.
This is why you have extensive communications with your child BEFORE they go to college about what types of lies the professors will be telling them.
My son would come home with all kinds of stories about women/gay/atheist/black/muslim propaganda that his teachers were trying to force onto him. Fortunately, he was prepared to spot it.
He also was the only kid he knew at his college who applied for and received a Covid vaccine waiver.
With all of that being said....my wife still babies him and reads his mail.
Unless it's a bill.
FERPA is not designed with the parents in mind.
That’s a great theory.
I’ve seen plenty of posts about college working overtime to corrupt even the most bolstered of young minds. And I’ve read a lot about 18 years of parenting getting reversed in one half of a semester. It’s not 1985 anymore.
Heck, how many ADULTS become leftists over time? Just this week I saw a few articles about Republicans signing letters supporting Harris. Kids don’t have a monopoly in being mush-minds.
Yes, a parent needs to do everything they can to prep their child for adulthood. And we don’t want Johnny living in Mom’s basement forever.
But an 18-year old needs zero help from loving parents against college administrators and teachers? Sure Jan.
The child predator needs to be sure the parent is not aware. Using the law or any other methods outside or above the law, the left has taken parents out of the loop. This is how they work their evil magic. This is how the left sexualized the past 20-years of students, and in the past 10-years turned them into multi-sexual targets of opportunity. It’s all about young flesh for those who no longer have Epstein Island.
This is very similar to a presidential candidate bringing along help during a taped and softball interview with a friendly interviewer.
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