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Rumors Swirl That Kamala Harris Is Being Influenced By Russian Agent
Babylon Bee ^ | August 19, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 08/24/2024 11:40:02 AM PDT by Twotone

U.S. — According to sources, Vice President Kamala Harris may be under the influence of a Russian agent.

"Just look at her," said Congressional Representative Thomas Massie. "I mean, come on."

Rumors of foreign influence on political candidates are nothing new in American politics, but experts say this is the first time it has been so obvious.

"The slow and deliberate movement, fluctuating pace of speech, changing volume of her voice, irrational statements, inappropriate laughter — these are all hallmarks of Russian influence," noted Brent Tolliver, a former D.A.R.E. officer turned political analyst.

Political pundits remain divided on the issue. "Look at the way she walks and talks and does anything," argued Fox News commentator Sean Hannity. "If I came to work looking like that I'd be out of a job." Meanwhile, MSNBC's Rachel Maddow claimed Republicans need to live a little. "She's just exuding joy," she said on her program. "Maybe Donald Trump could do with a little Russian influence."

"I'm not a prude, I can get a little joyful around 5:00 like anybody," said Fox News anchor Bill Hemmer. "But this is a bit much."

"Pfft!" slurred Anderson Cooper in a rebuke of Hemmer on his CNN program. "He's just mad that Trump isn't getting trashed with joy."

Harris' team has denied the allegations. "Kamala Harris isn't under the influence of Russia, or any Russian substance whatsoever," said Harris spokesperson José Cuervo. "And I should know, I'm out getting trashed with her every night."

At publishing time, the Pentagon had also denied the influence of vodka on the sitting Vice President.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; kamalaharris; smirnoff
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1 posted on 08/24/2024 11:40:02 AM PDT by Twotone
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To: Twotone
...aid Harris spokesperson José Cuervo. "And I should know, I'm out getting trashed with her every night."

It was funny up to this, then it went hysterical.

2 posted on 08/24/2024 11:43:24 AM PDT by IllumiNaughtyByNature (Polls are designed to sell more ads & polls only. If it's not a horse race the money dries up.)
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To: Twotone

She’s not drunk, she’s just drinkin’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpM-J39Js88


3 posted on 08/24/2024 11:47:36 AM PDT by AppyPappy (Biden told Al Roker "America is back". Unfortunately, he meant back to the 1970's)
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To: Twotone

The Bee writer just needs to back a bit further in time. She’s definitely under the influence of Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Mao and Pol Pot.


4 posted on 08/24/2024 11:53:28 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom (“When exposing a crime is treated like a crime, you are being ruled by criminals” – Edward Snowden)
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To: Twotone

Stoli.


5 posted on 08/24/2024 11:54:01 AM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this💩? 🚫💉! 🇮🇱👍!)
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To: Twotone

Russia Russia Russia


6 posted on 08/24/2024 12:07:30 PM PDT by wastedyears (The left would kill every single one of us and our families if they knew they could get away with it)
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To: Twotone

Russian. Iranian. Hamas. Mexican. Chinese.

Basically every America hating nation on earth have their fists up her back side making her talk.


7 posted on 08/24/2024 12:15:32 PM PDT by Organic Panic (Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes)
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To: Twotone

Agent Stolichaya is rumored to be Harris’ handler.


8 posted on 08/24/2024 12:24:09 PM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: Twotone

The Bee got me. I almost replied to it as real.


9 posted on 08/24/2024 12:30:20 PM PDT by McGruff (Are you better off than you were four years ago?)
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To: rktman
Kamala is definitely feeling the buzz
10 posted on 08/24/2024 12:34:11 PM PDT by rdcbn1
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To: Twotone
Mow that you mention it, maybe.


11 posted on 08/24/2024 12:34:18 PM PDT by McGruff (Are you better off than you were four years ago?)
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To: Twotone

I think any real news on this subject would be that she is not influenced by a foreign agent


12 posted on 08/24/2024 12:39:58 PM PDT by stanne
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To: Twotone

You mean the old commie, Barry Sombrero O’Bammie and Big Mike Sasquatch?


13 posted on 08/24/2024 12:53:15 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (The Banana Voo Doo Queen is putting illegal scumbags on a Free Ride on the American Dream Express.)
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To: Twotone

Swirling Rumor season is upon us.


14 posted on 08/24/2024 1:01:47 PM PDT by xoxox
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To: Twotone

Ah hah! A Pooty Poot Putin puppet!

Things are bcomming clearer now...the ruined economy, the social debasement, the skirt wearing military.


15 posted on 08/24/2024 1:23:59 PM PDT by citizen (Put all LBQTwhatever programming on a new subscription service: PERV-TV)
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To: Twotone
"Rumors Swirl That Kamala Harris Is Being Influenced By Russian AgentRumors Swirl That Kamala Harris Is Being Influenced By Russian Agent"


16 posted on 08/24/2024 1:26:31 PM PDT by clearcarbon (Fraudulent elections have consequences.)
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To: Twotone

Silly conspiracy theory, although I have to admit I have some questions about this new campaign manager. Grigori somebody or other...

17 posted on 08/24/2024 1:28:05 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: IllumiNaughtyByNature

I cracked up! 😅


18 posted on 08/24/2024 1:33:40 PM PDT by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they control you. )
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To: Twotone

It’s true. Just that she’s under the influence of the white russian.


19 posted on 08/24/2024 1:38:28 PM PDT by Fledermaus (Clay Bevis and Cuck Butthead are panty wadded, pearl clutching cowards. Rush deserves better.)
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To: Twotone

I understand that video is coming out soon of Komrade Komala jumping up and down on a bed in a Moscow hotel room and then wee weeing all over it.

It’s part of a dossier that former MI6 agent Willie Fliesdown is being paid to make.


20 posted on 08/24/2024 2:20:06 PM PDT by TigersEye (His son nicknamed him Pedo Pete. (mic drop))
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