Posted on 07/23/2024 9:16:33 AM PDT by BipolarBob
U.S. — With Biden having failed to make a public appearance for 5 days, reports from across the country indicate Americans everywhere are kinda wondering if the President of the United States and leader of the free world is actually still alive or not.
When asked for comment, several citizens have stated: "We won't be mad if you'll just tell us, but it would be pretty cool to know if the President's heart is still beating — just curious, you know."
"Yeah, no biggie, but it would be kinda swell to know if we actually still have a leader who is alive," commented Charles Guy, a random dude on the street. "I mean, no pressure or anything. Just kinda interested, that's all."
"Oh, yeah, is Biden still around?" asked Rosemary Quill, another American citizen. "Like… is he still breathing? I guess it's nothing to get stuffy over or anything — I've always been a tad inquisitive though. But really, though…is he?"
While tweets from the President's official X (formerly Twitter) account continue to assert that President Biden is still conscious, functioning, and capable of running the United States, no one seems to be able to provide any valid proof of life, like photographic evidence of Biden with a current newspaper. Americans remain "mildly curious."
At publishing time, US citizens had upgraded their interest in Biden's whereabouts and safety to "modestly concerned."
Pelosi, you got some splainin to do.
I read somewhere that the last time anyone saw him he was wandering west aimlessly down Pennsylvania Avenue with his Ray Bans on.
He’s having a presser tomorrow.
Love Babylon Bee threads! The humor is spot on.
I heard they took him to a taxidermist.
How will we be able to tell?
If he’s really as sick as they say he is, how on Earth are they going to do that? I don’t think they can get away with a ‘John Gill’ kind of thing. (Star Trek reference, episode “Patterns of Force’)
The hammer guy pelosi hired to peen her husband not available for this job so wonder who hit hospice chute with what?
Need to start circulating images of Biden on the side of a milk carton.
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