Alvin Bragg Promises Indictment of Donald Trump For Dodging Bullet

Original Content | 7/15/2024 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

The Manhattan District Attorney’s Office aims to present a new indictment against Donald Trump, to a grand jury by the fall, Alvin Bragg said in court Monday.

"Donald Trump is clearly guilty of 'Felony Interfering with an Assassination'", Bragg said, "And further, if it can be shown that Biden issued the order, that this is official White House business. That means that the additional charge of 'Felony Obstruction of Official Government Business' can be added.

On Saturday, an assassination attempt was made on President Trump's life, though the attempt was thwarted because he turned his head to read a chart at the very second the shot was taken.

Bragg said that if an indictment can be secured quickly enough, that he believes that Trump could be arraigned in court as soon as Inauguration Day.

"I intend to show that no one is above the law, especially laws we make up on the spur of the moment," he continued.

[Lazamataz]

I think this is Babylon-Bee level satire.

[6ppc]

Laz is a bad boy!

[Lazamataz]

Laz is a bad boy!

The worst!

The Babylon Bee is free to pick up this piece provided I am credited.

[Kid Shelleen]

Trump Indicted For Inciting Assassination Attempt

[Beowulf9]

I’m like ‘what’?! sitting here reading this...

and then, well, hopefully this is the Son of Babylon Bee.

[NEMDF]

This could present a real conundrum for the MSM, because they would first have to acknowledge that Trump actually was the target of gunshots.

(Nice post, Laz. Prayers that you are picked for VP!)

[Lazamataz]

I’m like ‘what’?! sitting here reading this...

I count that as a WIN.

[Zathras]

“Illegal use of an assault weapon”

[Lazamataz]

Prayers that you are picked for VP!

I remain hopeful. My phone is on and I am ready to answer the call!

[workerbee]

Well done, sir.

[Lazamataz]

Close, but my satire is of a charge emerging for dodging a bullet. :)

[pollywog]

At first I read it and thought... OH NO not again! I do believe it is Babylon Bee! LOL

[Political Junkie Too]

Fine him for the cost of the bullet, too.

-PJ

[Lazamataz]

At first I read it and thought... OH NO not again! I do believe it is Babylon Bee! LOL

They are free to use this work, if they credit me.

[Tell It Right]

Mine too. I'm hopeful that Trump picks from holders of DJT stock. LOL

[Lazamataz]

Fine him for the cost of the bullet, too.

OOOhhh ... nice... add in the China angle....

[PROCON]

Trump didn't dodge anything!

It was Divine intervention, God is good!

[alancarp]

Don’t forget that Trump invoked the name of God for saving his life. That means he broke some law that New York might obscurely have on somebody’s “to do” list about separation of church and state.

[Lazamataz]

So much I could have added to this!

Charging him for wasting government resources for the missed bullet!

Charging him with invoking God’s name!