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Kangaroos Ask People To Stop Unfairly Comparing Them To U.S. Justice System
The,Babylon,Bee ^ | May 29 2024 | the Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/30/2024 8:50:37 AM PDT by xp38

AUSTRALIA — Kangaroos hosted a press conference today calling for a stop to demeaning comparisons to the United States justice system.

"Please, we beg you - stop comparing the U.S. legal system to a 'kangaroo court'. It's insulting to kangaroos everywhere," said kangaroo spokeswoman Savannah Buttercup. "We are proud of our superior judicial system and would never, ever behave like those clowns in New York."

According to sources, kangaroos across the globe were infuriated by the sudden deluge of people comparing their justice system to America. "It's downright offensive. We kangaroos have a very fair system," explained Buttercup. "Misdemeanors result in getting your ears boxed. Felonies will get you a kick, square in the squishy regions. Every kangaroo is subject to the same laws, no matter if you're red or grey, tree-kangaroo or wallaby. Our system is light years ahead of the clown show that is America."

At publishing time, a group of clowns had held a press conference calling on the kangaroos to stop comparing their shows to the U.S. legal system.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: kangaroos
:)
1 posted on 05/30/2024 8:50:37 AM PDT by xp38
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To: xp38

Bob Keeshan, being deceased, was unavailable for comment ...


2 posted on 05/30/2024 8:55:27 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: xp38

Did you know; you can fit 35 bananas in a kangaroos pouch

Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore...


3 posted on 05/30/2024 8:57:31 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: xp38

I’ll make a prediction and see how well or poorly it works.

Trump will be found guilty, be cuffed, outfitted in an orange jumpsuit, and marched to jail.

He may be imprisoned for a single night — or even an hour — to “make a point.”

The real reason is to generate images for the election campaign. They WANT those images. VERY important...


4 posted on 05/30/2024 9:00:34 AM PDT by William of Barsoom (In Omnia, Paratus)
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To: xp38

The Bee...hitting on all cylinders today!!!


5 posted on 05/30/2024 9:02:48 AM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: NorthMountain

Unavailable for comment for that reason, but plans to vote for Biden in November


6 posted on 05/30/2024 9:06:53 AM PDT by j.havenfarm (23 years on Free Republic, 12/10/23! More than 8,000 replies and still not shutting up!)
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To: j.havenfarm

Several times.


7 posted on 05/30/2024 9:08:55 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: William of Barsoom

Good point-——Biden already has his “convicted felon” speech ready to roll.

So Merchan was under a lot of pressure to get Trump behind bars
to generate images for Biden. The Dems WANT those images badly.


8 posted on 05/30/2024 9:20:32 AM PDT by Liz (This then is how we should pray: Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name . )
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To: NorthMountain

And so I’d Larry Harmon


9 posted on 05/30/2024 9:26:28 AM PDT by Fledermaus (Is it me, or all of a sudden have the buried trolls come out on FR like cicadas? It's all noise.)
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To: Fred Nerks

Kangaroos tell us to stop! Ping.


10 posted on 05/30/2024 9:58:24 AM PDT by Candor7 (Ask not for whom the Trump Trolls,He trolls for thee!),<img src="" width=500</img><a href="">tag</a>)
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To: xp38

Da Bee, on target again!


11 posted on 05/30/2024 10:32:38 AM PDT by Roadrunner383 (m)
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To: xp38

Hahahaha


12 posted on 05/30/2024 10:35:17 AM PDT by ducttape45 (Proverbs 14:34, "Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people.")
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To: William of Barsoom
I’ll make a prediction and see how well or poorly it works. Trump will be found guilty, be cuffed, outfitted in an orange jumpsuit, and marched to jail. He may be imprisoned for a single night — or even an hour — to “make a point.” The real reason is to generate images for the election campaign. They WANT those images. VERY important..

If this happens and I were Trump, I'd proudly wear an orange jumpsuit at every rally and public appearance. Shove it right back down their throats!

13 posted on 05/30/2024 11:20:29 AM PDT by chaosagent (Remember, no matter how you slice it, forbidden fruit still tastes the sweetest!)
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To: xp38

Gee,I wonder what the common strain is here

Colorado Trump thrown off the ballot by 4 Dem majority judges and Dem AG prosecutor
Maine Trump thrown off the ballot by Dem Election Commissioner
DC Trump indicted and to be tried for insurrection before Dem judge with Dem AG prosecutor
Georgia Trump indicted for election interference by Dem Prosecutor
NY Trump indicted for business record fraud by Dem Prosecutor Dem before Dem Asst Prosecutor Judge
NY Trump tried for mortgage loan misvaluation by Dem AG and fined 380 million by Dem Judge
Az Trump team indicted for election interference by Dem AG
NY Trump suit for sexual assault by Dem plaintiff with Dem funded lawyer before Dem judge and Dem jury awarding 86 million
NY Trump tried for slander by same Dem plaintiff, Dem judge awards 5 million
NY Trump DC/Fla Trump indicted for Documents possession by Dem Grand Jury and Dem AG


14 posted on 05/30/2024 11:50:41 AM PDT by chuckee
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To: William of Barsoom

I don’t disagree with your assignment of motives.

I am reminded of the last time someone tried this. I think
it was at the staged photo/fingerprint session. Trump, the
master of the media, offered a mug shot that breathes defiance
in the face of persecution.

I predict more of the same.


15 posted on 05/30/2024 11:51:25 AM PDT by T. Rustin Noone (Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum)
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