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9 Signs God Might Be Slightly Angry With Your Country
Babylon Bee ^ | April 5, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 04/06/2024 12:23:57 PM PDT by Twotone

With the ground under America literally shaking today, many began wondering - might God be a tad bit angry at us? We at the Bee assembled the best theological minds to help us discern the truth!

Check out these signs God might be just slightly angry with your country:

1. The sun is about to be blotted out from the sky: Never a good start.

2. Your symbol for liberty just got struck by lightning: It's almost like some unseen power is trying to tell you something.

3. You have been given over to lust, greed, and endless Fast & Furious sequels: The end draws nigh!

4. Your bridges crumble and fall into the sea: Also, they will somehow take longer to rebuild than the Roman Colosseum.

5. 70 million unborn babies have been murdered over the last 50 years: Things like that might make God slightly angry.

6. Planes begin falling out of the sky: Ok, He might be a bit mad.

7. Madonna is still touring: Does the Lord's fury have no end?

8. The president speaks in strange, evil tongues: Nexnelsrent!

9. Pete Davidson: Behold, the son of perdition!

We are starting to get the sense that God may be just a touch angry with our nation. Let us know any signs that we missed!


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; god

1 posted on 04/06/2024 12:23:57 PM PDT by Twotone
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To: Twotone

I love the last one. The success of a misshapen, no talent individual like Pete Davidson proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that a person can gain fame and fortune by signing his soul over to the Devil.


2 posted on 04/06/2024 12:32:32 PM PDT by who_would_fardels_bear (What is left around which to circle the wagons?action )
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To: Twotone

At least with the Bee you know they are making a joke. When people tell you that entirely predictable eclipses are in fact a sign from God it is harder to tell if they are joking.


3 posted on 04/06/2024 12:34:53 PM PDT by JSM_Liberty
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To: who_would_fardels_bear

Quite frankly, that one confused me as I had no idea who this person was.


4 posted on 04/06/2024 12:35:22 PM PDT by Twotone (We have to stop punishing ourselves for considering things that once seemed crazy. - B. Weinstein)
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To: Twotone

...Your government and its most powerful institutions are being run by Epstein clients.

...Your society has had its education, public services, entertainment, mass
media, and all bureaucracies with access to children, infiltrated and restructured
to create and perpetuate a systemic child grooming crisis.

...Your government just renamed Easter to “Transgender Day of Visibility”, in
case you had any difficulty spotting who’s agenda you are not permitted to
interfere with.


5 posted on 04/06/2024 12:43:25 PM PDT by EasySt (Say not this is the truth, but so it seems to me to be, as I see this thing I think I see. #MAGA-A)
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To: Twotone

The ground shook under Schumer for some reason, probably not good.


6 posted on 04/06/2024 12:46:52 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page. More photos added.)
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To: JSM_Liberty

If everything is predestined and God is in complete control and knows what everyone is going to do, then he can set the Universe up so that an eclipse will line up nicely with the complete degeneration of a nation.


7 posted on 04/06/2024 12:53:06 PM PDT by who_would_fardels_bear (What is left around which to circle the wagons?action )
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To: EasySt
I don't know why the Biden admin didn't go with "Furry Day of Visibility".

That's a group that normal people generally look down upon, and at least of few of them will be dressed up like bunnies.

8 posted on 04/06/2024 12:54:32 PM PDT by who_would_fardels_bear (What is left around which to circle the wagons?action )
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To: Twotone

"The Lord will give me a sign."

9 posted on 04/06/2024 1:01:35 PM PDT by TimSkalaBim
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To: Twotone
Quite frankly, that one confused me as I had no idea who this person was.

Peter Davidson - a foul mouth comedian from NYC who personifies the values of a godless world.

10 posted on 04/06/2024 1:03:57 PM PDT by JesusIsLord
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To: Twotone

Ditto. Never heard of the guy.


11 posted on 04/06/2024 1:06:47 PM PDT by MayflowerMadam (Navarro didn't kill himself.)
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To: who_would_fardels_bear

Here is a list of eclipses visible in the US in the 20th and 21st

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_solar_eclipses_visible_from_the_United_States

“States and areas that will not see a total or annular eclipse between 1901 and 2100

Delaware
District of Columbia”

So that makes it pretty clear that God is sending a message that the only parts of the country that are not corrupt are DC and the home state of our current president.


12 posted on 04/06/2024 1:07:08 PM PDT by JSM_Liberty
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To: Twotone

Well, he hasn’t zapped anyone with a thoughtfully placed bolt of lightning. So maybe He is just a bit miffed.


13 posted on 04/06/2024 1:47:35 PM PDT by Adder (End fascism...defeat all Democrats.)
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To: Twotone

It seems like he has turned the country over to their unnatural desires.


14 posted on 04/06/2024 1:51:27 PM PDT by alternatives?
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To: Adder

15 posted on 04/06/2024 1:53:09 PM PDT by Dick Bachert (TH)
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To: alternatives?

And my local 99Cent Store just went out of business!


16 posted on 04/06/2024 2:21:46 PM PDT by Bookshelf
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To: Twotone

10. Supporting Males who think they are female to “Play” female sports.


17 posted on 04/06/2024 3:37:36 PM PDT by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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To: JSM_Liberty

Those are being spared the darkness BECAUSE they are of the devil. They start with D, just like devil. The Lord gave the devil free rein to go to and fro over earth. He is in DC and Delaware frequently, and if it got pitch dark out of synch with normal night and day in those areas he might stub his toe on a memorial, or step on and smash a dementia ridden politician…


18 posted on 04/07/2024 7:58:03 AM PDT by Axenolith (Tagline not found, Loading "run around like chicken with head cut off...")
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