Are you referring to someone we all know and love?
Posted on 02/07/2024 8:40:35 AM PST by Twotone
Dating in 2024 isn't the same as it was in generations past. Why? Your date might be one of those transgenders. Surgical advancements and breakthroughs in hormone therapy have made it more difficult to know if you're dating a male or female than ever before.
Don't worry! The Babylon Bee is here to help you determine your date's true gender with the following list of signs to watch for:
1. She picked a restaurant in 5 seconds: No woman can accomplish this feat.
2. She ordered a ribeye and a Guinness: Nice order… SIR.
3. She works as the U.S. Assistant Secretary of Health: Oh no! Your date is Admiral Rachel Levine!
4. She just wants to chill, smoke cigars, and name obscure running backs: Enjoying a Padrón and throwing out names like "Tim Biakabutuka" isn't any woman's idea of a good time.
5. Her chest is hairier than yours: You can tell even though she isn't wearing a low-cut blouse because it's sticking out the neck hole.
6. She won a gold medal in the men's decathlon at the 1976 Olympics: As impressive as this accomplishment is, that ain't no lady.
7. She tries to seduce you by burping the alphabet: Any woman would score major points with this, but everyone knows that isn't going to happen.
8. She says she has a doctor's appointment on Thursday for a prostate exam: We're not biologists, but we're fairly certain women don't have prostates.
9. She can watch a movie without asking any questions about the plot: Only a man can follow the plot of a movie that well.
10. She's currently peeing at the urinal next to you: RUN!
If you notice any of the signs listed above, it's a near guarantee that you're on a date with a dude. Politely excuse yourself, leave the restaurant, and pretend like this date never happened.
This could be a Dear Abby column.
Are you referring to someone we all know and love?
Better queue up Marisa Tomei.
Rebecca: Um, uh... Sam, wait. What about the Stooges?
Sam: They’re all right, they’re over at Cliff’s.
Rebecca: No, no, Sam. What about the Three Stooges?
Sam: Oh, yeah, great. I like the Three Stooges. That helps a lot.
Rebecca: Wait a minute, Sam. Think about this. Do women like the Three Stooges?
Sam: No, they hate them.
Rebecca: All right. Are women impressed that you like the Three Stooges?
Sam: No, some of them even think they’re stupid.
Rebecca: When you’re watching the Three Stooges, do you think they’re sexy?
Sam: No, when you watch the Three Stooges, nobody has time to think about sex or women. Hey, wait a minute. That means I do have another interest in my life. I like the Stooges for themselves. Hey, whoa, I’m okay. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
Great Seinfeld episode on this..........
Forget the foreplay just check the package and see what you get.
I still remember the old line from Kate on NCIS from years ago.
“So, what was it like tonguing a guy?”
Is it wearing a jock strap and cup?
LOL!!!
Yep!!!
That’s a man baby!!
I think that Aussie did that very thing...
I’m proud to say that I’ve been a Three Stooges fan since I was a child. Growing up with hardwood floors meant I could practice going around in a circle on the floor, just like Curley. “Ohh, woise guy, ay?” and “Soitenly!” are frequently heard coming out of my mouth. However, I am not a dude.
B A, BA! B E, BE!
;-)
Peach
True story....I worked with a Radiologist...at a Hosp. That started dressing like a woman. Ended up looking almost exactly like Rachel Levine. I kid you not!!
Glad to hear there are more of us females who do enjoy the Three Stooges.
I gave my husband a talking Stooges bottle opener many years ago. It says, “how ‘bout a beer? Why soitenly! (Bottle opening sound) Woo woo woo woo woo woo!”
If my husband is still up in the office when I’m ready for the evening to begin, I’ll pull that opener out and give him a hint that the work day is supposed to be over. I hear him chuckle and then I hear him shut things down. It’s a great method for those who get lost in their work and don’t realize how much time has passed. He’s rewarded with a cold one already poured in his favorite glass.
True story, I went wedding dress shopping with my daughter in NYC a year + ago, and in one of the salons, there was an assistant who was a guy (named Brian) who wore a skirt, some makeup, things in his hair, but sounded like a guy, and didn’t shave his legs. When he wanted to help my daughter undo her clothes I had to step in and say that was my job to unzip her. Daughter was mortified but I’m sure she appreciated it nonetheless. He wasn’t fooling anyone. Pervert.
Think about it, if you check the package and get the wrong thing being delivered, it saves you from having to explain making out with a dude, if it’s the right package, hopefully you don’t get slapped and can talk your way out of the situation otherwise it’s pure humiliation.
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