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Powerball Winner Revealed To Be Hispanic California Resident Volodymyro Zelensko
BabylonBee.com ^
| Oct 12, 2023
| The Bee
Posted on 10/13/2023 1:11:55 PM PDT by cabojoe
SACRAMENTO, CA — California lottery officials have provided details regarding the latest Powerball winner. A Hispanic and long-time California resident named Vladimiro Zelensko is reported to have won the whopping $1.7 billion Powerball lottery. "Hola! I am muy happy for this small sum of money," said the very Mexican-looking Zelensko while holding a giant novelty check for photographs. "This may sound weird, but I could use even muy more denaros for, um, charitable works for my poor amigos in war-ravaged Ukraine. Bless their hearts, hombre."
Just then, his dark mustache fell off and a child in the audience pointed and yelled, "Hey, that looks kinda like Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky, what a peculiar coincidence, since he is constantly receiving scantly-traceable funds for the war in Ukraine while many working-class Americans are spending hundreds more per month just to keep food on the table!"
Everyone laughed and patted the small child on the head, then continued to congratulate the Hispanic lottery winner as he replaced his mustache.
At publishing time, due to inflation, Vladimiro Zelensko had spent his entire winnings just to pay for travel back to his hometown of Kyevadillo.
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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1
posted on
10/13/2023 1:11:55 PM PDT
by
cabojoe
To: cabojoe
2
posted on
10/13/2023 1:14:22 PM PDT
by
cabojoe
( 🇺🇸 Stop Ukie censorship. Release Gonzalo Lira)
To: cabojoe
Bahahahaha
I wouldn’t be shocked these people are crooked
3
posted on
10/13/2023 1:14:55 PM PDT
by
NWFree
(Sigma male 🤪)
To: cabojoe
Anyone remember the movie “Quiz Show”?
4
posted on
10/13/2023 1:14:58 PM PDT
by
Tench_Coxe
(The woke were surprised by the reaction to the Bud Light fiasco. May there be many more surprises)
To: cabojoe
5
posted on
10/13/2023 1:15:16 PM PDT
by
broken_clock
(Go Trump! Still praying.)
To: Tench_Coxe
6
posted on
10/13/2023 1:15:32 PM PDT
by
z3n
(Kakistocracy)
To: cabojoe
7
posted on
10/13/2023 1:15:50 PM PDT
by
workerbee
(==)
To: cabojoe
8
posted on
10/13/2023 1:17:48 PM PDT
by
M Kehoe
(Quid Pro Joe and the Ho have got to go)
To: cabojoe
9
posted on
10/13/2023 1:21:04 PM PDT
by
moovova
("The NEXT election is the most important election of our lifetimes!“ LOL...)
To: cabojoe
To: cabojoe
Odd sounding name for a Mexican....
...
11
posted on
10/13/2023 1:23:48 PM PDT
by
Red Badger
(Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
To: NWFree
Hilarious, I actually laughed out loud on this one. Bravo to the bee
To: cabojoe
Hah hah. Good one! Bet that little punk bought some tickets with our money!
13
posted on
10/13/2023 1:26:49 PM PDT
by
dforest
To: cabojoe
😂
14
posted on
10/13/2023 1:28:06 PM PDT
by
Jane Long
(What we were told was a conspiracy theory in ‘20 is now fact. Land of the sheep, home of the knaves)
To: cabojoe
Vladimiro Zelensko Given that the suffix "sky" in a patronymic, I believe Vladimiro Zelenskez would be more correct.
15
posted on
10/13/2023 1:28:16 PM PDT
by
Pilsner
To: cabojoe
Fake!....The lump sum isn’t that big!
16
posted on
10/13/2023 1:28:45 PM PDT
by
xp38
To: cabojoe
17
posted on
10/13/2023 1:31:29 PM PDT
by
MayflowerMadam
("Normal" is never coming back.)
To: Tench_Coxe
18
posted on
10/13/2023 1:32:24 PM PDT
by
MayflowerMadam
("Normal" is never coming back.)
To: cabojoe
Dude! Thanks! First good laugh of the day.
19
posted on
10/13/2023 1:38:05 PM PDT
by
DCBryan1
(Inter arma enim silent leges! - Cicero )
To: cabojoe
20
posted on
10/13/2023 1:41:16 PM PDT
by
ANKE69
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