Posted on 08/26/2023 7:55:55 PM PDT by Tench_Coxe
SEATTLE, WA — Liberal man Jonathan Seymour passed away, dying on the toilet as he awaited instructions from the Center for Disease Control on how to wipe his own butt.
"I kept telling him to just go for it," said housemate Ronald Mills. "Jonathan just wouldn't take the risk."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Sheryl Crow explained this. One square and wear the rest.
Yeah, uh... That happened.
Rosie O’Donnell bellowed at her from The Spew saying “did you ever see the size of my ass?”
I once heard a story about a man who died in a Round Barn looking for a corner to pee in.
Such a needless death when easily installed bidet’s are so common these days.
Of course in an extreme case, he could have just hopped in the shower but alas, he was a Marxist who couldn’t think for himself just like all the others like him.
Many a true word spoken in jest.
The CDC will now mandate printing wiping instructions on each and every sheet of t.p., which will drive up the price even more.
Amazing and sad but this was the manner of dying of a star:
Report:
Elvis Presley was sitting on the toilet, straining very hard to have a bowel movement — a maneuver that put a great amount of pressure on his heart and aorta. Thus, he likely died of a massive heart attack and keeled over onto the floor.
RE: how to wipe....
First he had to find his rear end.
Had GPS, a map, a mirror and two pals shouting encouragement and directions.
Buttgig could find it for him, blindfolded.
He was waiting for his leader President Retard to give him permission
The CDC recommends using ones mask. It will then guarantee that others will keep their distance.
Good one. So true.
Just watched that episode last night.
I’m not sure I believe this one. Most liberals I’ve been around don’t appear to bathe, much less wipe their ass.
Washlet toilet seats are a mark of advanced civilization. I own two. The Japanese are a wonderful bunch for this advancement of bathroom hardware.
I worked at a mine in Indonesia for awhile. They had a hole in the tile floor for the toilet and a hose at the house we lived in.
At the mine itself they had toilets. With a pictogram of not standing on the toilet seat and squatting. I didn’t mind squatting at the house (a more natural position actually), but I didn’t attempt to use the garden hose, other than just using it to “flush”.
Interesting. The power outlet would be the tricky part.
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