Are You At A Nursing Home Or The U.S. Senate Chamber? 9 Clues To Look For

The Babylon Bee ^ | 29 July 2023 | BabylonBee.com

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There you are, sitting across from an elderly, demented man drooling on his oatmeal, when suddenly you begin to wonder: Am I in a nursing home, or in the chambers of the United States Senate?? To help you solve the mystery, look for these nine helpful differences:

1.Nursing Home: Residents call out "Bingo!" to win money

Senate: Residents call out "Aye!" to spend your money

2.Nursing Home: Costs $10,000 per resident per month

Senate: Costs $10 billion per resident per second

3.Nursing Home: Residents alert a nurse when they've soiled themselves

Senate: Residents wave to camera as if nothing happened when they've soiled themselves

4.Nursing Home: Surprisingly, plagued by STDs

Senate: Not surprisingly, plagued by STDs

5.Nursing Home: Aides tell residents which domino to play

Senate: Aides tell residents which country to invade

6.Nursing Home: Pudding and smoothies in the cafeteria at 4

Senate: Pudding, adrenochrome, and roasted flies in the cafeteria at 4

7.Nursing Home: Smells of death and fecal matter

Senate: Same, if the President stops by

8.Nursing Home: A bunch of old, angry people yelling about missing Matlock

Senate: A bunch of old, angry people yelling about missing Matlock

9.Nursing Home: Residents all still alive

Senate: Residents were all, at some point, alive

It takes a keen eye to spot the differences - let us know any that we missed!

[bigbob]

Most residents of nursing homes are not multi-millionaires.