𝙊𝙈𝙂!!! 𝙇𝘼𝙕𝘼𝙈𝘼𝙏𝘼𝙕 𝘿𝙄𝙀𝘿 𝙏𝙊𝙉𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏!!!!

7/22/2023 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

First of all, much to the dismay of many, I did not die tonight.

Secondly, I've seen these funeral threads before where people mourn the FReeper and talk about what they meant to them (and more than a few FReepers who celebrate the death).

But what's the point of that? Does the dead FReeper know anything, or see any of the kind or crass remarks about them?

No. Pointless. We should have these sort of threads BEFORE they die.

So that's why I'm doing my obituary thread tonight. Plus, there is the added advantage of me knowing the exact date (7/22/2023) and and time (10:34PM) of my death!

Arrangements may be sent to: Egotistical Clown Funeral Home, 2312 Dumb Vanity Road, Atlanta, GA. 30321

Donations on his behalf may be sent to the Gun Owners of America.

[djstex]

LOL!

[right way right]

Spelling is not my strong sweat.

[Vendome]

idiot

/s

LOL

[Vendome]

[montag813]

Pity! The list of those who you would "hit" was about to get so much better!

[montag813]

Pity! The list of those who you would "hit" was about to get more interesting!

[DesertRhino]

Electrifying, horrifying, terrifying… the emptiness…

. Please add me to your ping list.

[BraveMan]

𝙊𝙈𝙂!!! I didn't get a funeral card (for my growing collection)

[Miguk]

Obligatory and Not-Ironical Obituary for The Late Great Lazamataz:

I stand before you today, to celebrate the Life and untimely Death of Sir Lazamataz. For those of you who didn't have the pleasure of knowing him in the (non-Biblical) sense, he was a great man, a great humanitarian, a great and prolific Freeper, and yes, a great and girthy Lothario.

How, you may ask, could any one man be all those things (and more!) ? Well, he told me so. In great and somewhat tedious detail. Not a braggart, at the start of his rise to fame, he became pedantic and predictable, later in his life and at the time of his passing.

I spent many hours in philosophically-minded DeepThought with our Laz, while having multiple Firefox tabs open, to other things, while Laz went on and on and on. And on.

He will be missed, mostly I think, by the many unattractive yet eager HoseBeasts that were the meat and potatoes (and slice of strawberry-rhubard pie) of his many Good Saturday Nights. Laz took the hits, too willingly I might add, that the rest of us more discerning Freepers would never entertain. Taking One For The Team was his lifelong motto, and he was exceedingly and innocently good at it. Thank you Laz for helping us dodge all those many many ugly bullets! It falls to those who survive you, to find the next naive innocent girthy Freeper to stand In Harms Way and Take One For The Fream.

Laz lived life to the fullest. A globetrotter, cow puncher, thespian, mad knitter of sweaters, he spent is off-HoseBeast hours yelling at clouds, littering, profaning Man (but not God), and waxing poetic about the topics of the day (that often included himself). An intellectual college-boy savant (idiot? you decide), Laz led the life that was the envy of Freepers everywhere. Envy, I tells ya! Clap, you Seals!

Thank you, Laz, for allowing us mere mortals to bask in your glow (and stank). Stank, you say? Yes, our Laz was possessed of the most bewildering boquet of pungent pungency ever to stank, in the history of Stank. I prefer to think that his "aroma" was the tool that he used to Take One For The Team, but that will be for the history books to decide.

In closing, farewell Dear Lazamataz, too short in this life, too much to say and too few people willing to listen to your drivel, too many HoseBeasts and too many slices of pie, and ultimately too big for the Interwebs. Farewell!

Olfactorally Yours,

Miguk

[FreedomPoster]

There’s a bathroom on the right.

[gundog]

[Equine1952]

As for me. I’m trying to figure out was it the beating from the husbands, the monkeys, the marmalade, the electricity, the light bulb, or something else that didn’t cause his demise? I tell you there’s mischief afoot. I fear that we’ll have to resurrect old Sherlock to get to the bottom of this. Bad business all around. Such a wholesome lad that you would hit anything in a skirt of the female persuasion. He will be missed eventually. Maybe. Or in the end.

No one will give a 💩?

[Delta 21]

Raquel Welch. The sexiest woman of all time.

[Allegra]

He hit it just a little too hard this time?

We all knew that day would come.

Laz, we hardly knew ye!

[TigersEye]

I did not know the headline field accepted html tags. I will keep that in mind.

I didn't know that either.

I think we've both learned a valuable lesson from brother Laz's untimely demise.

[Big Red Badger]

All eyes are on the clock...
You really gonna pull the
Trigger at 10:34 ?

[DiogenesLamp]

I like your sense of humor. :)

[Peter ODonnell]

Told ya not to get vaccinated.

[Manic_Episode]

My severe cajolences.

Please give my retards to the decreased.

Forgive my spellering, I'm a bit verklempteous right now.

[gundog]

:)