Posted on 06/26/2023 9:50:08 AM PDT by xp38
TATOOINE — A group of scientists on the outer rim planet of Tatooine have come to the realization that the planet's two suns might have something to do with its global warming issue.
"Our planet has experienced many years of harsh climate issues and unforgiving heat. After putting our heads together and really thinking about it, we surmised that maybe the two giant burning balls of gas we orbit around may be the issue," stated local scientist Tumar Sleezelag."I mean it kinda makes sense if you think about it.
The intense heat levels have already caused several issues amongst the inhabitants of this desert planet. Local Jawas and Tusken Raiders have reportedly begun wearing fewer garments to combat the extreme heat. "We know the heat has gotten too extreme when you see a Jawa walking around disrobed in broad daylight. It's an image you can't get out of your head," explained a shaken Sleezelag. "It's worse than anything an imperial probe droid could do to your mind."
Others, like local climate activist Greva Turdberg, are skeptical of the scientists' conclusion. "All these people flying around on speeders and those Sand People riding giant, hairy fart beasts are the ones contributing to the destruction of our planet!" said Ms. Turdberg. "Bantha farts have literally stolen my childhood! HOW DARE YOU!"
At the time of publishing, Tatooine officials were reaching out to a former resident with experience blowing up stars to help them with their extra sun.
Where does oxygen come from on Tatooine ?
Well, truth be told, we on planet Earth have had to deal with 2 suns since the solar system was formed.
We have the regular old sun which we know about, and that other star which was turned off a couple billion years ago, which we now call Jupiter.
When Jupiter ‘lights up again’, climate change will be no more, since we’ll all be burned to a crisp.
Look it up. ;)
The Sarlacc pit.
It stinks of rotting flesh over there
Greva Turdberg?
Very distant relative of Turd Ferguson.
Impossible! We know that global warming is causes by fossil fuels, and especially gas stoves.
Wait…so the whole Star Wars thing is a true story? And they really DO mean “a long, long time ago…”. ;). Interesting…Never heard that about Jupiter.
Perhaps we were all wrong about the moisture farms on Tattoine. Instead of creating moisture they, instead, draw oxygen from what little moisture is in the air.
Is the earth really warming???
Haven’t any of these clowns heard of the Tonga and Kiloweaua Volcanoes that have erupted and pumped 70billion tons of gas and vapors into the atmosphere over the past 1 1/2 years? The Tonga Volcano was the worst volcano in 1200 years alone. It set off seismometers around the world shaking the entire planet.
“That’s no sun...”
Alexandra Occasio Cortez is Oola, Jabba The Hutts sex slave:
and Rancor appetizer but the problem is Rancors are exceedingly rare in DC.
Turning one loose in the offices of Hakeem Jeffries seems like a good idea. I would even pay to see the Rancor sh!t him out.
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