Posted on 01/04/2023 9:56:49 AM PST by Lazamataz
Recently, I lost a friend of over 40 years. It was his choice to terminate our friendship.
We had known eachother since college. We reconnected on Facebook for many years, about 12, and rather suddenly tore into me for a variety of criticisms.
A little background on him: He recently lost his wife of 30+ years then promptly got covid. I offered my condolences and told him he could reach out for anything at all. Then, upon hearing nothing back, I left him be.
I noticed him corresponding more and more with a younger Facebook girl. No worries, not my business.
I wrote a simple little post about Jesus not returning anytime soon and this girl (I'll call her Amy) got into a big tirade with me and other people, expressing she hated religion, didn't believe in Christ, and called people who did a 'disease' and a 'pestilence'. I didn't much like that, unfriended her, and eventually blocked her. In the meantime, my old college friend expressed some of the same sentiments, even tually posting outright blasphemes. Told him I was none too fond of all that.
Well, he responds with all sorts of attacks.
I'm "too long-winded' and he never reads my political essays." Ok, fine.
I'm "occasionally funny but I try too hard." Actually, it's quite the opposite. I post what makes ME laugh. If you laugh, fine, if you don't, that wasn't my intent anyways.
I "think I'm so damned smart." I'm aware I'm slightly above average but there are plenty of people smarter than me.
I "slept with his college girlfriend Joyce." Um, no. Joyce was exceptionaly beautiful and I have always been average looking. Even if I had been inclined to try, she never would have even considered me.
All this was out of left field. No idea what provoked his attacks and his decision to terminate our friendship. I did find out that this Amy chick apparently was his go-to person in dealing with the grief of losing his wife. She apparently considers herself a Wiccan witch. Not healthy, but not my business.
So I am left with a friendship of over 40 years, destroyed. I have experienced some stages of grief over it. But I will (and I have to) accept it.
My best and most loyal friend in life (apart from my husband) was a Democrat lady with very different views on almost everything. Ideology never touched our affection for each other.
On the other hand, I’ve lost friends - especially from very young days - simply because of divided loyalties, realizing that they weren’t what I thought in terms of character, etc. (I did have two friends I distanced myself from precisely because they were very morose and negative, and I don’t need that influence in my life.)
People just change and move on - especially as they mature beyond school/college/being single, etc. It happens to everyone at some point.
There’s always the opportunity to make new and more meaningful friendships. When you do, you often see exactly what was wrong with the old, lost ones and don’t miss those so much.
sounds like ted olson after the death of barbara
If that circular mark is like mine, it is from bench rest sighting in a 375 H&H mag fitted with a short eye-relief scope.
Sheesh ... as a long time Freeper, you’d think I could proofread my posts for accuracy.
**Ok, you’re a friend. Now loan me 20 bucks till payday and on payday I’ll ask for another 20.**
You must be a graduate of Zelinski business and finance university.
“Loss makes many angry and they act out.“
Yeah that’s an angle. How traumatic was the loss of his wife? He may be one of those un reflective people who get mad at God when disaster strikes. Laz writing about God on FB may have enraged this guy.
Photos. Guilty?
Similar, but with an M1A.
Matthew 10:34-36
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.”
Very thoughtful response, alexander! You stated a lot of things that are spot on, especially the reading and re-reading of posts, texts, etc. I have a sister that does that and she is very difficult to get along with when she’s in one of her downward spirals.
Here’s something I learned last year after a particularly horrible time with my sister. We had vacationed together, but it turned out to be disastrous emotionally. As a result, I needed a real vacation. So as soon as we returned, Mr. FF and I investigated going to a somewhat remote spot. Turns out it was on a lazy river.
We went out to the dock. There was no one at all around us, even though other houses were nearby. It was so peaceful and so quiet. So quiet you could hear the leaves fall on the water and watch them drift away. That’s when we learned a lesson. You can watch your problems land in the river like a leaf does, and you can watch it get very far down the river, but at some point, you can’t see that leaf (or problem) anymore. That’s when it’s time to let it go.
I know it’s cliche, but it’s true. ***Today is a GIFT. That’s why it’s called the PRESENT.***
That river helped me get over the issues with my sister. I was able to eventually forgive her. She is older than me, and her health is declining, so now I try to make our conversations positive. Life is short.
Be blessed!
“One of the hardest truths to face: “friends” are really nothing more than acquaintances”
Very true. I started counting my friends... all I could come up with are better described as acquaintances.
I’m lucky that I have a real tight family... and we all get along.
And maybe the two go hand in hand. You feel more the need for friendship when you don’t have a loving family.
my beloved brother befriended a nerdy type guy who was in his class but never became friends til after HS...
this nerdy awkward guy was my brothers best friend for decades after hs....he married but had no children but basically adopted my brothers children and was very generous with time, even money......we all consider him a family friend now, and him and his wife came to my other brother's dtr's wedding....
you never know when you're going to find a friend.
Ain’t gonna Bail Laz...
This Is a Family of FRiends.
.
I had an old High school buddy
Who razed me about Minutemen.
Adios Muchacho.
.
.
I had a Wiccan girlfriend back in college. Great in bed, but far too strange to last.
Negative, caustic people are not good for your health
Pray for them, but jettison for now and don’t look back!
If your friend repents and wants to reconcile, graciously try to work him in.
Let it go…….don’t revisit everything said or done……..forgive yourself
Freedom!
👆 This!
Pussy just ain’t worth what that guy threw away. If he figures that out, he’ll be too embarrassed to contact you again. You all may run into each other somewhere later on and his attitude toward you at that time will say volumes about what happened with him and that witch.
Or you’ll never see him again—whatever. Join the club.
I’m in it for the long run.
Apparently your now ex-friend is under her spell. He made his choice, he gets to live with it. Move on, my brother from another mother.
A good movie but the sceenwriters sure took some liberties to make film last 3 hrs. Some things that are in the scriptural account were ignored.
For one, Moses ran off before the Egyptians were on to his crime, and thus not captured. And another, Joshua didn’t come looking for Moses, Aaron did. I’ll stop there.
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