Posted on 01/04/2023 9:56:49 AM PST by Lazamataz
Recently, I lost a friend of over 40 years. It was his choice to terminate our friendship.
We had known eachother since college. We reconnected on Facebook for many years, about 12, and rather suddenly tore into me for a variety of criticisms.
A little background on him: He recently lost his wife of 30+ years then promptly got covid. I offered my condolences and told him he could reach out for anything at all. Then, upon hearing nothing back, I left him be.
I noticed him corresponding more and more with a younger Facebook girl. No worries, not my business.
I wrote a simple little post about Jesus not returning anytime soon and this girl (I'll call her Amy) got into a big tirade with me and other people, expressing she hated religion, didn't believe in Christ, and called people who did a 'disease' and a 'pestilence'. I didn't much like that, unfriended her, and eventually blocked her. In the meantime, my old college friend expressed some of the same sentiments, even tually posting outright blasphemes. Told him I was none too fond of all that.
Well, he responds with all sorts of attacks.
I'm "too long-winded' and he never reads my political essays." Ok, fine.
I'm "occasionally funny but I try too hard." Actually, it's quite the opposite. I post what makes ME laugh. If you laugh, fine, if you don't, that wasn't my intent anyways.
I "think I'm so damned smart." I'm aware I'm slightly above average but there are plenty of people smarter than me.
I "slept with his college girlfriend Joyce." Um, no. Joyce was exceptionaly beautiful and I have always been average looking. Even if I had been inclined to try, she never would have even considered me.
All this was out of left field. No idea what provoked his attacks and his decision to terminate our friendship. I did find out that this Amy chick apparently was his go-to person in dealing with the grief of losing his wife. She apparently considers herself a Wiccan witch. Not healthy, but not my business.
So I am left with a friendship of over 40 years, destroyed. I have experienced some stages of grief over it. But I will (and I have to) accept it.
[[It somehow boosted his ego to “dump” on Lazamataz (besides earning him “Brownie Points” with the Wiccan).
and
I suspect that he also had a long-standing, but secret, grudge against Lazamataz due to his latent inferiority complex.]]
Yup- that’s my feeling too-
And things didn’t turn out so well for Dathan either:
“Dathan, Abiram, and Korah stood with their families and possessions at the entry to their tents, and the Lord caused the ground to open and swallow them”
(Numbers 16:31–33).
Hi guy. Always good to see your moniker.
In the grand scheme of things everything is transitory. Friends, relatives, nations, cultures, businesses and us.
You are on a journey through time and space, just like me. Everything is really vanity because time moves on and we are briefly on this planet.
For example you don’t remember your birth. You probably were aware by the age of three. That you can remember.
You nor I will remember our deaths either.
Methinks what awaits us after this mortal coil is a “Wow!”
5.56mm
We moved to Texas in late 2018 and to a new neighborhood in mid 2019. Several of the neighbors are retirees, including the couple next door to us. Nice enough people. Everyone has been pleasant.
But when a piece of mail came to our house intended for them early last year, it was for the wife from Planned Parenthood. At that point, I realized we needed to tread lightly. I placed the piece of mail into the return slot at the community postal boxes rather than hand-deliver it to their house directly. I didn't want them to know we knew, which might force us into a conversation we would rather avoid.
Late last summer, up went a Beto for Governor sign in their front yard. I think rerouting the Planned Parenthood envelope as we did was the smart move. As long as they don't force us into political discussions, we'll be fine. That's the world we live in now.
Laz, you creep, I’m with you all the way. I do think we need to meetup more often.
Same thing happened to me. A friend of over 40 years - going back to high school - with whom I shared political, religious, and social views suddenly became rabidly liberal. He’d recently had a mild heart attack and, at first, I wrote it off as the somewhat normal change in personality that occurs after a heart procedure, but it continued to get worse. I tried to talk to him, but it reached a point where the negativity was too much. I politely wrote to him to say that life is too short (and he should be painfully aware of this) and that relationships should mean more than ideology. I pointed out I have several close friends on the other end of the political spectrum, but we choose friendship over conflict. Alas, we’ve not spoken in a few years, and I miss him but I choose to surround myself with love not anger.
“20 year old mentality” - I had the same thing happen. A liberal friend, never married, never had kids, barely worked, etc. - has the same level of maturity from 30 years ago and still believes he knows better on everything and became rude about it too.
Fine, bye. I have too much going on in my life to deal with such nonsense.
And also bring his own SHOVEL!
Sorry if the attempt at levity seems inappropriate at this time.
If you look back, you may discover that this "old friend" of yours had almost always been somewhat lacking in the cardinal virtues, and that you were subconsciously overlooking his many faults, "carrying" the relationship.
Regards,
Ask him how he got that circular mark above his right eye. ;-D
I suspect that his doctor gave him a prescription to help him with the loss of his wife. It could have changed his personality completely. Older folks can have really weird reactions to prescription meds.
The Vid gave him long haul sickness and he has no coping mechanism. He’ll come around.
Indeed you have friends.
We’re your friends. And unfortunately, we know exactly what you’re going through right now.
Now, can you PLEASE put me on your ping list already?
“IF ANY OF YOU CONSIDER ME A FRIEND, SOUND OFF.”
Ok, you’re a friend. Now loan me 20 bucks till payday and on payday I’ll ask for another 20.
also, medically, people can have little strokes that change their personality....
overall, there's not much you can do but perhaps be ready to support him when he crashes back to earth.
Time changes minds and appearance, sometimes dramatically. I had a college friend that was a full scholarship distance runner, full-time business major. I was a part-time agriculture major (was farming while going to school). He was big city Chicago suburb, I was rural cornbelt. Yet we were both mildly conservative politically, and while we went bars and parties, we were not interested in ever getting drunk. After I quit school entirely because the growing farm, we went our ways.
Looked him up online last August. Called him and found we are both conservative more than ever. Nice long chat. It’s like he said, “some people say not to talk about politics or religion, in order to get along. I put it out there because if you don’t think like me in those very important areas what’s the point in pretending we are good friends?”
I mentioned a Chicago area girl he knew, that looked much like the chick on the tv show Mod Squad, very very pretty. They were friends but nothing more. I tried to become friends with her, but wasn’t succeeding. Then ruled that out, since I figured she was out of my league. Plus, city girls at college seemed turned off by the thought of dating a farmer.
He remembered her name, so I looked her up, and saw a lot of pics on her father’s obit. It appeared that by the time she reached 45, you would have never guessed she was that beautiful college girl.
What happened to me is ironic, seeing I ended up marrying a beautiful city girl (that resembles the actress Jennifer O’Neill), but one that 44 yrs later still fits into her wedding dress. Long hair was the fashion in the 60s and 70s. Her hair was probably 18” long then. Now it’s close to 3 feet long.
God is good.
As another old time Freeper, I enjoy your posts, and hope you know there are lots of us out here in Freeperville. Keep up the good work.
Same. 30 year friendship up in smoke, the day after the “insurrection”. Not my choice, hers. I can handle differences of opinions in politics. Liberals not so much. Had a great little band going also. Whatever.
I think you called it. Amy chick. Misery loves company and evil will always find a way to corrupt others.
and most friends are in and out of our lives....it doesn’t mean it wasn’t friendship, it just means that our needs throughout our lives change, our interests....and so do the people we want to hang around with.....
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