Hot Pockets' Cargo Shorts Have a Literal 'Hot Pocket' — Here's How to Get a Pair

Food and Wine ^ | Mike Pomranz

[nickcarraway]

There's even a matching hoodie, too.

Hot Pockets launched nearly four decades ago, bringing the world a simple but delicious service: ready-to-heat-and-eat treats. Yes, calzones, patties, empanadas, and the like, had been around for generations prior, but labeling a stuffed pastry as a "hot pocket" was surprisingly comforting to many — sort of like the feeling of shoving your hands in a coat pocket on a cold winter day. Now, Hot Pockets is taking that warm and fuzzy notion literally with a wordplay-inspired new merch drop.

For the winter warriors who like to keep wearing shorts even during the coldest months of the year, the brand is launching a pair of cargo shorts with an insulated pocket to keep your Hot Pocket toasty no matter how low temperatures go.

Created in collaboration with the Columbus Fashion Alliance, which markets itself as "a collective of creatives, passionate about the fashion industry in Columbus, Ohio," these "first-ever" Hot Pocket Shorts feature "literal hot pockets that keep your sandwiches hot and your calves cool thanks to insulated cargo pockets — a true wintertime flex," Hot Pockets explained in a statement. The otherwise straightforward khaki shorts have a cargo pocket on one thigh labeled "hot" with the additional message "insert sandwich here," while the pocket on the other side is labeled "cold." The front also features a graphic of a devil with the quip, "stay heated."

But hang on, there's more. The shorts also come with a matching hoodie (because winter shorts have to be accompanied by something far warmer on your upper half) that says "irresistibly hot" on the front and "hotter in the Wild West" on the back, with additional flame characters and imagery.

"Wearing shorts in winter is an unexpected, bold fashion choice and Hot Pockets saw a way to bring the heat with our new insulated shorts," Bryan Waddell, the brand's marketing manager, added in the statement. "We teamed up with Columbus Fashion Alliance not only because we believe in their mission but because we knew they could help bring our consumers a functional item with an undeniably hot design."

The Hot Pocket Shorts will go on sale on December 12 and will be available in sizes small through extra-large, in a men's apparel cut. These limited-edition items will be available at no cost while supplies last. And, as a bonus, the apparel comes with one coupon redeemable for one Hot Pockets sandwich. Get them while they last on the Hot Pockets online shop.

[nickcarraway]

Yes, they need to get a pair.

[gundog]

[joe fonebone]

I don’t think anyone has ever eaten a hot pocket, and when done says, Boy am I glad I ate that

[proust]

[ClearCase_guy]

We should mail these shorts to most elected Republicans — it may be the only way they’ll get a pair.

[oldasrocks]

Winee warmer shorts. Who could ask for more?

[bigbob]

If people who wear shorts in winter (also known as dumbasses) reduce their sperm count, I see that as a good thing.

[j.havenfarm]

Where I am in CA, the temperature on Christmas Eve last year was about 35-40. My young adult son, visiting from Colorado, asked if he could wear shorts to Midnight Mass, since that temp is warm for him. Let’s just say it was a short-lived idea

[GaltAdonis]

Is that an empanada in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

/s

[nickcarraway]

Why would you ever wear shorts to Mass?

[j.havenfarm]

I never do and I would have asked him not to, even if it were July. But given the choice between having him there in shorts or not at all…

[T.B. Yoits]

Why would you ever wear shorts to Mass?

Some might ask "Who would wear long pants?"

[T.B. Yoits]

There was a Little Rascals episode where Alfalfa is reciting "The Charge of The Light Brigade" in class and Spanky's younger brother uses a magnifying glass to light the fuses on fireworks in Alfalfa's back pocket.

"Cannons the left of me." BANG BANG BANG

"Cannons the right of me." BANG BANG BANG

[IYAS9YAS]

I don’t think anyone has ever eaten a hot pocket, and when done says, Boy am I glad I ate that

They're pretty darn good when you're too drunk to drive and anything within walking distance is closed and you don't have any five-year-old top ramen left hidden in the back of the cabinet to nuke or any sardines to open.

[Kriggerel]

How popular are they in Alabama?

(sorry, couldn’t resist).

[moovova]