Posted on 11/24/2022 5:56:39 AM PST by Twotone
We all know Thanksgiving is a time of family and delicious food, but is your Thanksgiving historically accurate? Tap into your heritage and spice up your holidays by making your Thanksgiving more true to history than ever before this year!
Here are some tips:
Wait for half your relatives to die in the harsh winter before celebrating: You'll have less drama.
Invite famous Native American Elizabeth Warren to bring you a deer carcass: Delicious!
Make the women do all the cooking over an open hearth: And have them ditch the pumpkin pie for a historically authentic eel pie.
Ask Uncle Bob to deliver a 3-hour Puritan sermon before eating: It's better than listening to his political rants.
Weld an oil funnel onto your 12-gauge and go skeet shooting with your new blunderbuss: With a 10-foot spread, you can't miss!
Silence the children with a swift strike upon the cheek: As was Puritan custom.
Have one of the family members wear an authentic buffalo-skin loincloth and give everyone a corn-planting lesson: As long as it's not Uncle Bob.
Get the COVID booster to simulate the feeling of influenza: Wow! This is just how William Bradford must have felt!
Lose a couple of fingers to frostbite: Hey! You have plenty more!
Show more humility and gratefulness than you ever have in your life: Man, those Puritans knew how to be THANKFUL.
Enjoy!
Can she bring something she used in the Pow Wow Chow cookbook like “Cold Omelets with Crab Meat” or “Crab with Tomato Mayonnaise Dressing,”? Or maybe we could just invite the real source, Pierre Franey.
This made my day better.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Last night On my scavenger hunt list was “Grateful Progressive”. Still looking! Know one? Anybody?
Seeing that my brother and I have done the sum total of all Thanksgiving cooking for the last 15 or so years without even a hint of volunteerism from the 5 women in our immediate family, I think there’s a flaw in that plan.
Then again, I haven’t met a woman that is my match in a kitchen.....even if they were familiar with where the kitchen was.....
Maybe things would change if you made them eel pie. ;-)
Pilgrims with the blunderbuss were invented by 20th Century greeting card artists, along with boot buckles. It just looked old-timey.
Typically, the blunderbuss (and it’s pistol counterpart the dragon) were used where the flared muzzle helped with loading under motion, like ship’s fighting tops, carriages, and horseback (dragon -— dragoon).
It’s a matter of ambience - first you should coop yourself, your family, and 100 of your closest friends up on a 100-foot leaky wooden ship, eat worm-infested food from storage in wooden barrels (refrigeration is cultural appropriation), no bathrooms, no TV, and do all that for three months bobbing up and down in the Atlantic ocean, and then land in New England just in time for winter. That hot turkey samwich is gonna look pretty good, buckaroo.
Tension At First Thanksgiving As One Pilgrim Wears ‘Make America Great Someday’ Hat
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