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(Satire... barely) Fetterman Concedes Race To Oz, Gets Ready For 6 Years In The Senate
Original Content
| 11/9/2022
| By Laz A. Mataz
Posted on 11/09/2022 11:09:21 AM PST by Lazamataz
(AP) Philidelphia -- In a show of tremendous graciousness, Jon Fetterman called Mehet Oz and congratulated Oz on his Senate win.
"I'm glad I to beat you, so I race to congratulate you on my win. I surrender. Good luck on Senate, Mr. Oz. Can't wait to go run." Fetterman is quoted as saying.
Analysts were confused that, since Fetterman won, why he would concede the race to Oz. Fetterman's handlers were trying to explain to him, albiet unsuccessfully, that winning a race means you actually take the political position. Fetterman responded by attempted to call Oz and conceding again. (continued on page 6)
TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS:
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To: bigbob
And run them as Dems then vote with GOP once in.
They do it to us.
21
posted on
11/09/2022 12:06:53 PM PST
by
Fledermaus
(With Trans Republicans like McCarthy and McConnell do we really want them to win Congress in 2022?)
To: Lazamataz
Worthy of The Bee. You should submit it to them.
22
posted on
11/09/2022 12:12:52 PM PST
by
Pajamajan
( PRAY FOR OUR NATI6ON. Never be a peaceful slave in new Socialist America.)
To: Pajamajan
Worthy of The Bee. You should submit it to them.Curiously, you have to be a paying member to submit articles.
Helluva business model. Make people pay you for them to write for you.
23
posted on
11/09/2022 12:15:38 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(The firearms I own today, are the firearms I will die with. How I die will be up to them.)
To: apillar
In that case, doesn't the governor appoint a replacement?
24
posted on
11/09/2022 12:27:00 PM PST
by
Blurb2350
(posted from my 1500-watt blow dryer)
To: Lazamataz
Fetterman’s first floor speech:
“Tor like Senate! Tor think GOP bad!”
To: Lazamataz
zero chance that THING makes it six years.
To: Lazamataz
I had to do a double take to see if I was reading the Bee. Peculiar business model.
27
posted on
11/09/2022 12:31:53 PM PST
by
Silentgypsy
(In my defense, I was left unsupervised.)
To: Travis McGee
To: All
Oz down under as Fetterman sweeps Transylvania In an outcome that can only be described as a bite in the neck, Mehmet Oz had to concede defeat to the Electable Hulk, Count Fetterman. "I will serve the people of Transylvania by taking blood wherever I find it," promised the newly elected Senator. Meanwhile, Dr Oz stated, "only I could have lost to this guy. I mean, what did I do right?" A panel of experts said that newly developed voting techniques helped with Fetterman's win. A spokesman for the Democratic Party said "we couldn't have pulled this off without the astonishing 127% support levels in parts of eastern PA." Oz added this comment, "at least my voters are real people with a life."
29
posted on
11/09/2022 12:39:02 PM PST
by
Peter ODonnell
(Cultural elder -- problem is, that only counts for every other culture)
To: Blurb2350
Animal House come to life...a ‘documentary’ that sent SENATOR Blutarsky to Washington???
30
posted on
11/09/2022 12:39:11 PM PST
by
who knows what evil?
(Yehovah saved more animals than people on the ark...siameserescue.org)
To: Lazamataz
Maybe Fetterman will get confused in the Senate and vote with the Republicans.
At least we can hope.
To: Travis McGee
Fetterman looks like a fetal gamma-radiation experiment.
32
posted on
11/09/2022 12:41:14 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(The firearms I own today, are the firearms I will die with. How I die will be up to them.)
To: Lazamataz
Guess who is happiest that the Feeb won? Slo-Jo, of course! He says “Finally a solution to the Kamala problem. I’ll ditch her and appoint Fetterson as my VP! Then we’ll have two feebs running the country! Sub-brainiac power to the less-than-normal!””
33
posted on
11/09/2022 1:50:46 PM PST
by
blu
(Bagster's ping on the side oh, and FJB!)
To: Travis McGee
That's perfect, McGee.
34
posted on
11/09/2022 1:50:53 PM PST
by
bagster
("Even bad men love their mamas".)
To: BenLurkin
It’s Unanimous!!!
You Win the Thread !
To: Travis McGee
To: Lazamataz
I posted this to the PA board
https://www.electionreturns.pa.gov/
We were focused on Oz/Fetterman, the Democrats were focused on Mastriano/Shapiro in their ad campaign, painting Mastriano as an “extremist” who wanted to ban all abortion.
Result?
Oz lost 2,414,628 / 2,622,962
BUT
Mastriano lost BIGGER at 2,174,068 / 2,897,388 !
There were people who voted for Oz who refused to vote for Mastriano because of Mastriano’s abortion stance.
It was Mastriano who brought down the whole PA Republican ticket.
The number of people who voted for Oz but refused Mastriano, and apparently voted Democrat on the other race, was bigger than Fetterman’s margin of victory.
37
posted on
11/10/2022 6:13:23 AM PST
by
PapaBear3625
(We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced so stupid people won’t be offended)
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